To be sick of this question?

[stopaskingmethat]

'Have you met anyone yet?'

Always asked by the same people, each time I see them.

I know it's meant nicely. Well, I assume it is, when it's followed up with what is obviously meant to be surprise and compliments.

But it makes me feel shit. I have my reasons for now and they're not ones I want to discuss. I always give a vague 'I can't be bothered, happy as I am... blah, blah, blah'. But today I really just wanted to say 'not this shit AGAIN!' But outside of my current situation, I find it really awkward being asked this.

And AIBU to wonder why these people see having a partner as a necessity, or something that everyone is aiming for? I will aim for that eventually, but why is it assumed?

Just needed a moan really. I knew it was going to be asked again today and my heart sank when it was.

'Yes! Ooh that reminds me <looks at watch> - it's almost time to let him out of the sex dungeon for his lunch & stretch his legs. Gimp outfits can be so chafing. Must dash, we must have a catch up soon.'

Just say 'No - and please stop asking me that'.

Well, yeah, you would think. But that's just not me.

Fucking nauseating isn’t it.

People assume that it’s impossible to be happy and single. And it never seems to cross their mind that the question itself is designed to increase insecurity where there was none.

You can’t win either. If you say you’re not bothered you get accused of being defensive. If you say you are miserable and lonely you will be told to “look on the bright side” and “think positive”. There is literally no way to answer that doesn’t lead to you being pitied.

I had this for years. I got quite good at closing it down after a while. “No.” Back to looking at phone. No further discussion brooked.

‘Nope. I’ll update if there’s ever a change’

I pointed out I have three kids so yes I have obviously at some point "met someone" "but your single" yes? Like I said I have three children

"Why is that so important to you?"
"Why do you always ask me that?"

Turn it back on them, every time they ask you a question you don't want to answer, ask them one back. You are not obliged to share this information with anyone!

"For now, I'm as free as a bird.."
And if they persist a fake smile and yawn.

Very annoying and rude

I was single for 7 years and without fail I would be asked this question by one well meaning asshole relative every time we met. "Do you everrr think you'll meet anyone?" At the time I was mostly very happy single. But occasionally pretty down about myself and how things were going.

I had to grin politely and say something socially acceptable, about how I was happy as I was, or oh I'm sure I will when the time is right. And resist the temptation to shout or cry at them. And yes it made me feel like crap every time. I know it came from a good place, but it just made me feel like something was wrong with me.

A recently separated sibling is now getting this question instead and I am able to see that it says more about the asker than anything. They simply can't imagine being happy on their own.

"Yes, but I can't say any more because <whisper>, we think MI5 are on to us".

"No, but don't worry,if I do, you'll be the very first to know."

Works best on people you only see once a year.