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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What’s going on? Me or just situation!

3 replies

Hottimesahead · 21/08/2022 23:29

Need some advice as my head is over thinking. After years of dating and a few terrible relationships, finally met a guy I really adore and am falling for. I seem to hold back with guys as they turn into a disappointment as soon as feel I am falling for them. This guy has been different and you can tell he cares. He was first to say he loves me and his actions match his words.

we have been dating for 5 months, see each other regularly, 3 times a week; despite living 30 mins drive away. We are booked to go on holiday in a few weeks. Met each other’s friends and family and had the exclusivity chat early on. All good.

however there has been a slight turn. He has been stressed at work and a close family member died recently. Been supporting him, best I can. He has not been sleeping well and has injured his leg which is causing him pain.

over last 2 weeks he is distant. Texts less, but quieter and is less affectionate. He still cuddles, we have sex regularly and does still communicate. Asked him what was up and he said it was just lack of sleep and pain. He did go out last night with friends but came back early as he said he felt unwell and didn’t sleep much last night.

Tonight he came round and I surprised him with his fantasy. He was responsive and seemed pleased, but not as enthusiastic as he has normally been. We then went out for food and came back to mine and chatted. He was suppose to stay the night. He said around 10 pm he was going home as felt shocking. He didn’t look well and was clammy. . I told him to stay, and not drive if he wasn’t well. He said he felt same last night and didn’t want to keep me awake as I only have a one bedroom flat and work next day.

He went, as he was going I did ask if we were ok? He said of course we were, he just didn’t feel great and needed his own space to try and sleep as feeling shocking. Said he has been feeling crap all week and not sleeping. Said when I stayed over on Friday night he didn’t sleep and I was unaware as asleep he was up most of the night.

I am not too sure if I am overthinking as typical patterns with other guys, as soon as show interest they start the slow fade. I know he has been stressed, but he has gone from being all over me and being in regular communication to being quiet and now not staying over.

i know you can’t read minds - but do you think this is an unwell thing or fading me out? Reassure me or help me have a conversation without sounding needy.

OP posts:
birdling · 21/08/2022 23:35

He really does sound unwell.
I would probably be more concerned about that.

Ponoka7 · 21/08/2022 23:35

I think that it is what he is saying, not sleeping and pain. Perhaps he needs a chat with his GP. I wouldn't put any pressure on him.

Hottimesahead · 21/08/2022 23:44

@Ponoka7 @birdling I am concerned. Wasn’t too keen on him driving home. Offered to sleep
on the sofa bed so he could sleep without worrying. Said he wasn’t keen on chucking me out my bed.

he went to his gp got painkillers and his GP said his diet wasn’t great. He is a bit overweight and said covid had increased his weight and constant leg pain means he can’t run much as he used to. His diet is not great

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