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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To struggle with the mental load / responsibilities

1 reply

cadburyegg · 21/08/2022 22:48

I am struggling mentally with the amount of stuff I have on my plate. I really hope this doesn't sound pathetic.

I am a single parent to 2 dc who are 4 and 7. Their father does the minimum, partly due to circumstances (his shift pattern) so this is unlikely to change anytime soon.

My mum helps me a little with childcare for my dc although I have scaled it back significantly. I am finding she needs more and more help with life admin (bills etc) and organisation. Without being outing she also has quite a serious legal issue going on which I need to help her with. I'm an only child and my dad died last year.

I find more and more is piling up on my plate and it's enormously stressful. If anything goes wrong, with my kids or mum, it's often all on me to sort out. Kids wise - school, settling in for dc2, homework, reading, after school activities, childcare round work. Looking after the house, which feels like a full time job in itself. I find myself forgetting things because I have too much to remember. My work is taking a backseat when it should be a priority. But I am behind with everything.

I don't know what I want from this thread. A rant I suppose. I don't think I can change it. I wish I knew how to cope with it without feeling like I'm drowning.

OP posts:
FarFarFarAndAway · 21/08/2022 22:57

I don't have any answers for you, I just wanted to say I sympathise. I'm a single parent through being a widow and being a single parent is the hardest thing I've ever done. It is just you and it's so tiring being responsible for everything. All I can suggest is accepting that, and lowering the standards of the things that matter less. In an ideal world, you'd do all of it, but you have to prioritize the basics, so not losing job, feeding everyone. If the house is a bit dusty, kids wear clothes a bit longer (not smelly just don't wash everything like crazy) and your mum has to get professionals involved (not just you) then so be it. I hear you on this one.

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