AIBU to think I'm going to start losing work over this?

[Reesewithafork]

I've posted about this before but since DS (2.5 years) got covid earlier this year, then started nursery, he's had a nightmare run of infections, both bacterial and viral, plus colds and a bonus UTI thrown in for good measure, and he seems to get a cough with EVERYTHING.

We've got inhalers and they have helped because I know the cough would be worse without them, and we've definitely had a bit of a break where the cough was so occasional it was barely noticeable. We're trying to identify what triggers it as well - unfortunately it seems to be any kind of upper respiratory tract infection, hay fever, air con or fans...dust...

Anyway, we had a bit of a result in that after literal every other week sickness, we had three weeks off. THREE WEEKS OF HEALTH. I got cocky, thought we were through the worst of it, took some work on (I work for myself) and bang - viral throat infection for a week that turned immediately into a viral ear infection with crazy high fevers, had two days of him being back to normal and THEN HE STARTED COUGHING AGAIN.

I'm sitting, trying to work as I'm already so behind after the last couple of weeks, listening to him cough cough cough on the monitor despite the Vicks, humidifier, his cot being propped up, extra Ventolin given before bed....knowing that I'm not going to get much sleep tonight and have a deadline Tuesday. And another one Friday. I've got more coming up and I've had to push them for an extension because I was behind with the work Im doing now. I know it's my own fault for taking it on but I'm going to start losing clients aren't I? I'm not delivering on time, I'm having to take time off so I'm not available when I usually would be, I can't deliver my usual fast turn around....

I just feel beaten down by it. Earlier in the year when we were in the thick of the every other week I started thinking I was going to have to take a work break for a bit but then thought things were getting better (idiotically I now realise) and I was so happy to be getting back to having something for me, that usually fits in really nicely around DS.

Sorry, I know the answer is probably just yes and it sucks but I'm just feeling a bit worn down by it all. I seem to have an almost visceral reaction to the sound of a cough these days....

It's a bloody nightmare now ill they are when they start nursery.
My sons the same, inhaler works for a degree.

Do you have any help/support from anyone who can watch him when he's ill so you can work?

Its awful isn't it @HSKAT . People did warn me but I wasn't expecting it to be like this.

Inhaler does seem to work but if he has anything that causes gunk in his throat - so even a common cold - it's back again. And even though it's not as bad as it was, it's still bloody there. I'm just praying he doesn't get a fever and start brewing a new infection, surely it's not normally to get three in a row?! I thought two was bad!

DH has been amazing but there's only so much time he can take off, and as his salary keeps us running and I'm only just picking back up with mine unfortunately it does make more sense for me to shoulder the time off for the most part (He has taken a fair bit though and helps at night etc). I just find it so wearing as I'm always worrying if there's something underlying going on, if Covid has done some long term damage etc but the doctor's just keep saying probably viral and to keep with the inhalers as they're having some affect.

We don't have any other childcare apart from nursery and because he runs a temperature with everything, we can't send him in even if he's okay in himself and just a bit snotty. Obviously wouldn't send him in when he's feeling rotten or with obvious proper symptoms anyway.

I just feel a bit broken by it all. I really didn't think it would be this bad, especially in summer. I feel sick at what winter might bring.

It's took a bout a year for it to finally settle down.. we'll until a week ago when DC got covid again...

I’m sorry @fufflecake
to add insult to injury I think I’m coming down with something now I feel awful. Praying it’s what Ds Has already had and not something new he’s going to catch.

is it really normal to get back to back infections with no break inbetween? :(

It's been my normal but my little one had had very limited interaction with anyone due to covid lockdowns. Then wham nursery and the staff there were saying it was worse than normal.

I promise it does settle down and its better now than at school.

It's normal and it gets better (not much consolation right now I know).

@Reesewithafork

I remember this well with all three of mine and I was also trying to take on more work for myself etc etc.

Oulsnt leave them with grandparents when I'll so it was a friggin nightmare.

One of mine also always developed a cough no matter what thing they came down with.

We were always told by the gp it's viral wheeze and to give piroton before bed as that's when it's worst and it actually bloody worked!!!!

He sounds so much like my son. Every kind of illness caused a cough. A cold was the worst, he'd cough and choke on all of the phlegm on his chest, and whenever he had a cough, he'd throw up.

He then began bringing up blood with his sick and we were referred to ENT, and they found he had grade 4 tonsils. He had them out just before his third birthday and honestly he's a different child. No more coughing in bed. It was actually sleep apnoea he had caused by enlarged tonsils which worsened when poorly. No more vomiting. I can't believe the difference in him.

I have no advice, just sympathy - DS started nursery in June and I feel like I'm setting fire to a bag of money paying for all the days we can't even send him in while also systematically getting every disease going. We've had someone ill in the house every day for the last six weeks, and I'm so fed up of it

Sympathy, OP. DS started in June and he was ill the whole fucking July. I kid you not, it was exactly as you've described, a run of constant illnesses, germs, cough, I was ill too, his dad was ill, it was horrendous. All my money down the drain too and no one else to look after him. And I've been given a massive target and hoping for a promotion, so I've been stuck between a rock and a hard place. I had nights when I was working to catch up and in between I throwing up and looking after poorly DS who was waking up screaming every couple of hrs. I've never been through such hell. My GP said even though DS was mixing a lot before nursery (I tried hard), there's so much circulating atm because of two years of lockdowns that they are seeing all winter bugs this summer. It's fucking hideous and, I agree, unexpected. I have no advice apart from take him out every day for fresh air, leave a damp cloth with Snufflebabe rubbed into it on a radiator or somewhere else safe spread out in his bedroom and pour yourself a glass of something stronger. Lots of coffee, too. August has been kind to us, he's been well thankfully, and the difference is enormous. Hang in there - you're not alone 💐 xx

If the Ventolin is working I’d speak with your Gp about getting a prescription for a clenil Modulite inhaler or other preventor. This would hopefully help stop the cough and upper airway issues, incidentally is the cough mostly at night?

@TokenGinger that does sound similar! He’s also sick when he coughs when it’s really bad but only brings up mucous or sick we’ve not had any blood. I have wondered about sleep apnoea because he can be a noisy breather when sleeping sometimes (not all the time)

@IggyAce he has a brown preventer inhaler we do twice a day is that the same?

@PurplePansy05 im so sorry you’re experiencing it too. I’ve been worrying myself sick(!) on top of everything that there’s something wrong with him to make him so susceptible to things as nobody else seems to have children get Unwell as often as he does. Nursery said there’s been a lot going around but also said he does seem to be at the more extreme end of things but GP said it’s normal. He’s got low iron and is on a supplement for that so I don’t know if that makes any difference.

@wtfisgoingonhere21 god it’s awful not having any help on top isn’t it? I just feel stressed and worn down all the time and even when he’s well I’m just dreading the next one.

im now debating what to do about nursery tomorrow as he has a new cough and I’m clearly coming down with something: do I send him in and hope he doesn’t come down with anything else? Is it bad form to send him in (he doesn’t seem unwell or in any pain at all, no fever seems fine).

sorry to everyone else who has posted who has weathered this particular storm too. We keep getting comments from familiar “oh has he got another cough? Oh he’s sick AGAIN” which is only adding to my worries!

My son was like this for years and it affected his growth also, until I insisted he be referred to a paediatrician. He was tested for allergies, cystic fibrosis and other things, but in the end it was severe asthma complicated by reflux. He is now on 2 inhalers, montelukast tablets, antihistamine tablets and some medicine for the reflux. He’s no longer coughing and had gained weight and height. So basically keep going back to your GP and ask for a referral to paediatrics.

@PurplePansy05 i think the thing that I’m finding hard and worrying is that apart from three weeks a few weeks ago, the longest we’ve had off from sickness after attending nursery is a week inbetween. It’s literally go in for a week, off a week or longer and he only does a few mornings he’s not even full time.

we’ve had it on and off since April and I’m really hoping he starts building up immunity now. It all seems to be upper respiratory tract infections as well which is what made me worry about Covid having done some damage. But I’m probably just worrying more because I’m very very tired and worn out!

@LoveSummerNotIcecream your poor boy. Because DS is on the 95th centile for weight and 75th for height they aren’t ever worried about anything like that. He does have eczema and hayfever though, so it’s not surprising that he could have asthma.
he did have reflux as a baby as well, he was always a bit of a spluttery one with weaning - he ended up on thickened formula for silent reflux

Oh and also to the poster who suggested piriton we’ve tried that and Benadryl (not together!) and neither seem to have much of an effect

Had this with 2 of my children and I echo it does get better. It is so difficult and it sounds ridiculous when you tell people they’re sick again but the doctor tells us it’s so usual for them. Hugs op

Thank you. You’re all so kind.I feel like all I talk about is DS being poorly as well, and obviously my priority is him being okay but it feels impossible to make plans as he ends up bloody getting ill every time or passing it onto us so one of us is ill instead!

I will add, DS is also sick when he has a bad cough, and he too was a refluxy baby.

He also breaths through his mouth when he has blocked nose and this really doesn't help with anything, unfortunately. The cough is definitely worse at night, too. I agree upper resp are by far the most common issue, my son on top of that he had some D&V type bugs and conjunctivitis too, but not as frequently as upper resp infections.

I have noticed he gets eczema flare ups just before and during a viral illness. So as soon as his eczema gets worse, I know 100% he's ill. It took me some time to figure this out, but it's definitely true and in his case nothing to do with an allergy. xx

Montelukast (asthma med) was life changing for us...

I think it sounds a bit much even for nursery sickness and I'd think about getting a second opinion or referral. GPs can be great but they don't always get it right.

Just moan, OP, it's fine - obviously we all worry about them and want them to be well, but when they're not, it's incredibly hard, especially if we get poorly too and there's no family to help. It's super hard and it's ok to say this and vent. Don't be harsh on yourself, you need us to give you a boost now - I've been there too. xx

Thank you so much

maybe I need to ask about montelukast as the inhalers do make a difference but it’s obviously still going on

@NerdyBird thanks for your post - do you think it sounds like there could be something underlying then? He’s my first so I never know how to judge “normal” especially after Covid and being locked down for so long. He didn’t get a cold until he was nine months old!

It really sounds like his asthma is not under control. I would insist on an asthma review and discuss higher doses of inhaler or other medicines.

@PurplePansy05 ds breathes through his mouth with congestion as well! It does make things worse. He’s been asleep now for a few hours without any coughing incidents so it’s really not too bad at the moment and he seems perfectly well in himself it just fills me with dread when it starts again each time