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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Impossible to make cheaper food swaps

44 replies

Help123456889 · 21/08/2022 20:23

Hello first time poster so sorry if this is not correct ! I have hit a brick wall and am unsure if I can reduce my food bill and wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation? Basically to not drip feed my DD is autistic and food has always been difficult she is underweight and I know I will get hate for saying this but she honnestly would rather starve than eat the foods that are not her safe foods. Thankfully over the years she now has quite a wide range of foods she will eat BUT she is very specific it has to be the same brand/product each time. Also I should add she has very sensitive taste buds she can tell the difference ! I have tried several times to put a different type in the same packaging etc and she knows instantly it’s crazy and this method has backfired on me in the past as she then decides she can’t eat that food anymore as she doesn’t like it. However her preferences are expensive not all are but many are and they are very random she is not brand loyal just very for fussy I guess and I am not sure how I can afford them much longer for example just a few foods


  • Tiptree Ketchup

  • Hellmans Mayo

  • M&S baked beans

  • Tilda rice pouch

  • village bakery crumpets

  • Asda rich teas


sorry for the long message and I know it is trivial but does anyone have any advice or experience on how to change this

thanks in advance

OP posts:
crosbystillsandmash · 21/08/2022 23:31

I have the same problem, except my issue is we have 3 coeliacs in the house plus someone with multiple allergies who has very limited choice.
Our food bill has always been high, I dread what it will be going forward Confused

Chuckiegg · 21/08/2022 23:34

Definitely claim PIP (previously DLA). You need to score enough points to qualify so really answer the question carefully and in detail. My dd is Autistic and she scores points in lots of the different categories as she needs encouragement to eat, shower etc etc.

LilacPoppy · 21/08/2022 23:50

@Chuckiegg children are still dla

MaChienEstUnDick · 22/08/2022 00:03

Definitely claim DLA - google and see if there are local charities who will help you fill in the form as it is tricky to get it right.

One thing that worked for us was to put things like mayo and ketchup in little pots. Yes, I'd refill them over the course of a meal - but even so, DS still used less than if he was freely squirting everything everywhere.

I am petrified for people with these issues, and people with allergies, given how tough and expensive things are going to get. Much love to you OP.

Chuckiegg · 22/08/2022 00:36

LilacPoppy · 21/08/2022 23:50

@Chuckiegg children are still dla

Oh ok - my dd moved to pip at 16. I assumed dla had become pip.

TheFormidableMrsC · 22/08/2022 00:42

Please make sure you apply for DLA and carers allowance if you are entitled to it. It really annoys me when parents of disabled children do not realise there is financial assistance available! You should have been advised of this. I'm a parent carer.

1vandal2 · 22/08/2022 00:59

I am also a committed hellman's eater. Every other mayo has a lot more vinegar and it just tastes horribly acidic.
A lot of baked beans have added sugar that make them overly sweet.

BadNomad · 22/08/2022 02:35

this method has backfired on me in the past as she then decides she can’t eat that food anymore as she doesn’t like it.

Do that with some of them maybe? Sacrifice the ketchup and mayo.

Chouetted · 22/08/2022 04:59

For goodness sake, don't go changing her safe foods without telling her - they won't be safe any more, and you'll lose her trust. I can't think of anything more scary than someone tampering with the food I eat before giving it to me - I know your motives are benign, but it's still one hell of a power play.

You do need to involve her in any changes.

Incidentally, I can't stand Hellman's for some reason, it does taste different to other mayo's.

Have you tried Approved foods and the like?

sashh · 22/08/2022 05:30

Supermarkets do not have factories making their own brands, it's not an easy thing but if you can find who makes eg beans for M and S then try the ones from the same factory.

But do encourage DD to taste test the two - if she will.

Foxes make biscuits for M and S, they might make for ASDA too.

And yes claim DLA, you can spend it on anything.

WorriedAuntie43 · 22/08/2022 06:57

It sounds like she has AIRFD. Combined with autism, you should make a claim in order to help you financially manage this a bit. Good luck!

Icedlatteplease · 22/08/2022 09:06

Tbh you're not in that bad a situation.

You have meat potato and 2/3 portions of veg (leave raw if that what she prefers), non of which need to be branded. That gives you one or 2 well balanced reasonably priced meals a day. If you get away with it, add whole milk, butter and/or cheese (make sure it melts in fully) to mashed potato to bulk out calories. You might well find you get away with steamed veg much easier than cooking them by any other means. Make sure it's a full 80g portion of veg every time.

Do you have an electronic scale with a tare function? You will get the same consistency in rice by measuring the rice and boiling water then cooking on low until the water is absorbed. You may find a rice cooker actually pays for itself.

Does she eat porridge? (Buy the cheapest oats) the electric scales should give you consistency here too. Porridge again is great again for hiding calories with whole milk, or your prepared apple. What about egg? Scrambled or otherwise? Again good for the whole milk trick

Have you tried adding crumble to the pureed fruit? Would she tolerate something like a basic Victoria sponge that could be baked ahead and served as dessert to bulk calories. Both of these are good for hiding butter.

When you're bringing something new into the house, dont get the branded one. Make it a binary choice, either way eat it or dont. Keep it as an option even if it is initial rejected.

You may not get a wide variety in her diet but actually it doesnt sound like a bad diet or one that has to be overly expensive. You have meat, veg and potatoes which is actually all you need for a balanced diet. Bread, jams sauces really arent necessary. It sound like she mainly isnt keen on the texture on anything processed (bread, pasta), possibly stuff that mixed together(sauce) and slimy stuff (jam, possibly pasta).

Icedlatteplease · 22/08/2022 09:26

Gah just to say when I say hide, I dont mean literally. More as in it's a good place to add in the calories without upsetting texture sensitivity.

Get her involved in the cooking of stuff like crumble, get her mashing the potato and adding the milk and cheese so she knows exactly what is in there.

hewouldwouldnthe · 22/08/2022 09:30

Basically, don't try to change these things you buy for her, it's not worth the refusal that may follow. If she is autistic are you claiming DLA? Even the lower rate will cover the extra food costs needed.

Icedlatteplease · 22/08/2022 09:51

A few things about sensitivity

It's worse when stressed. When you are going through a period of
Stress is not the time to change anything. What isn't tolerated at a time of stress is still worth trying at another time.

Throwing money at it is a disaster. My kids would never know if they liked the expensive baked beans because I would never have been able to afford to buy it. Either it is something they will eat or something they wont eat. DS switched from chicken soup only because there was no let up for a month, either he ate something else or he didn't. It was literally years before we had chicken soup in the house again. DD just had something different for breakfast when I could only afford the wrong type of spread. She stop tolerating the cheap mayo so now she doesnt have mayo. You look for more budget friendly solutions if you actually have too.

Of course this is possible if you have a child that will eat meat and vegetables. DDad has eaten porridge, meat potato and 2 veg and salad for tea for pretty much every day of his life. He will not eat sauce pasta rice mayo etc. Hes one of the healthiest humans I know with the most unprocessed balanced diet. Much much harder for my niece for whom it was only cheese , pasta and cake.

lastminutedotcom22 · 22/08/2022 12:01

@Help123456889

How old is your daughter?

Could you involve her with the shopping and meal planning and cooking?

Help123456889 · 22/08/2022 17:24

Thank you all for your replies they have been very useful I’m so grateful. To reply to some I have spent all day looking into DLA and am making an application thank you for all highlighting this to me. Equally the rice using the tare button or even the rice cooker is a great idea thank you. I know I can easily just take away the none basics such as sauces, jams, pancakes, garlic bread but these are what is helping to get some calories in her ! Porridge is a no sadly but I can definitely load up mash potatoes they are a firm favourite and I’m going to try milkshakes and add cream and ice cream. She is 9 and loves to cook and bake as she likes to follow the recipe step by step and weigh and measure and really likes rolling and kneeding pastry and dough ! I think it’s a bit like sensory play for her 😂 but when it comes to eating that’s a different situation. She will happily help make spag bowl for example and as long as we serve up so the pasta, ragú and cheese is all in separate parts of the plate and not touching she is fine but if she helped make a cookies she wouldn’t eat it.That’s a great idea about cakes though I will try that, she doesn’t like brownies she says they never taste the same and some are hard some are soft some have edge pieces some taste sweet some bitter some more like chocolate than others so they are a big no. We are gojng to try crumble tonight but of course the crumble part has to be separte and cooked not on top as them there is a ‘weird confusing mushy layer’ thank you all I do appreciate it and i probably seem a bit dumb as I have not thought of half of these !

OP posts:
MaChienEstUnDick · 22/08/2022 23:46

OMG you're not dumb at all! It's hard when you're in the trenches. You're doing great.

One thing I would add though is only change one thing at once. We've had some success with one slow, controlled change but if we do anything else or go too fast the whole thing comes crashing down.

sashh · 23/08/2022 05:20

OP

Almost everyone I know who has applied for DLA has had it denied on the first attempt so if they say no don't be surprised and do reapply.

I have a rice cooker, it was on a buy 2 get one free deal when I was buying a kettle and toaster. It does make consistently good rice.

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