To not want this child to come for playdates

[BelleMarionette]

The child is lovely, I have no issue with them. My child also enjoys playing with them.

It's the parents that are the issue. One of them called me for advice, and when I responded started shouting and was very rude. I was completely respectful in my reply, but it triggered him for some reason. Since, him and his wife won't speak to me, and he has refused to apologise, claiming I was giving 'unwanted advice' (but he had called me to ask for it.. complete madness!). As it turns out, I was completely right too, as he later found out.

I don't want this child over due to awkwardness with the parents, and the potential for further situations, given the previous irrational response. Having their child over also would make it seem that their actions are ok as well.

Aibu?

Does your child want this child over to play with?

Well it's your house - why would you have someone over if you don't want them to come?

If they're not talking to you I assume they haven't tried to set up a play date so why are you worried?

sounds like a difficult situation! How old is your DC as my advise would be different depending on age. Would other children be there? Are the child's parents (fully) okay with a play date? - i only ask as if not they could find anything they don't like about how you do things to throw back in your face (unlikely and horrible situation but make sure you are aware)!

Because the dads are talking and set one up when I wasn't around. Which I have an issue with.

My child does want them over, but in this situation I don't want it to happen. I don't want them (the parents) anywhere near my house or my children.

Never ever judge a child by the parent.

Who's asked for this child to come to your house? The parents, the child or your own DC?

Well if the children are young enough so that parents have to arrange them coming to play, just don't arrange anything.

If your child asks for them to come and play suggest an alternative friend to invite instead. Tell them it's best they just see X at school.

If they're older kids and they arrange it themselves. Let them go ahead and sort it. No parental involvement is needed.

Until you give more information about the ‘advice’ you gave, it’s difficult to say whether YABU or not.

So your DH picks up the child, they play at your house and your DH drops them back home.

Your DH arranged this without consulting you first. And this also means the parents don't have to be at your house or near your children.

It would be unfair to deny the two children a friendship qhen they've not caused this issue

Surely your DH facilitates the play date then? If not he needs to cancel it.

Ok, I had been deliberately vague, but I'll explain.

Their child had a minor ailment, and I suggested calling nhs 111 to get an out of hours gp appointment, instead of going to A&E, as the wait is very long, especially in the evening. I know this, as I work in a hospital.

They ignored this, went to A&E, spent many hours there without being seen, and then went home.

My concern is that given the previous irrational behaviour, there might be accusations made or some other situation develop if there is any interaction. In short, I don't trust them at all.

It depends on how fussed your DC is about it and their age I think.

I'm sort of in this situation. My DC is very good friends with a child who is lovely. Very difficult and complex situation between Mum and I. I have fronted it out and just pretended the situation isn't there. Child still comes for play. I've ended up in a few social situations with Mum and just make small talk. She knows it's awkward and precariously balanced, as do I. I think we both just want to ignore it and let them be friends and have a nice time. However, that only works if can you both think like that. If the little girls parents are obstructive then it might be impossible anyway.

Sounds like they took their frustrations out on you.

Id not want to host play date in your shoes - not worth the stress. Could they go to other child’s house instead? Or meet (with a parent each) somewhere like the park?

Children are 5/6 so parental input is definitely required.

Your DH deals with the play date 100%.

You go out whilst it’s on.

AIBU to not want that?

I don't want any contact with them, or them with my child or family. I'm not comfortable with it after what has happened.

OP you are being rather pathetic and controlling. Let your DH deal with this.

Are you always this unpleasant?