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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel a little mugged off

45 replies

DaisyDooxox · 21/08/2022 13:24

Hi all.

Ive been with my partner for 5 months now. I live with my parents and he has his own place. He’s got the next week off of work. We are going to the New Forest together from Monday - Thursday.

We had a wedding yesterday (Saturday) and stayed there overnight. My parents mentioned before the wedding that they were making dinner today and the invite is there if we want it. I said to them that would be lovely but we will see what time we’re back.

Anyway this morning as we left the hotel my partner said about taking up my parents offer for dinner because “then we haven’t got to worry about cooking”. So I text my mum and gratefully accepted her offer for dinner. Then on the drive home I asked my partner if we were staying together tonight (I presumed we were because we’re off on our break tomorrow). He laughed it off and said “no because you’re already seeing me for most of the week” and “I thought you would want to have a night with your parents before we go”. I then made a jokey comment about how he is using me for dinner and then dumping me off.

I just kind of feel like everything is on his terms. Not sure why but it’s left me feeling a bit deflated and rubbish. I just don’t see why he doesn’t want me to stay with him tonight. Especially because we’re off out tomorrow. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
butterflied · 21/08/2022 15:49

He needs some space. It's fine.

Prinnny · 21/08/2022 15:53

Yeah I’d defo want to be in my own house than my partners parents! Your going away the next day, surely you need to pack shave wash hair etc?

MarshaMelrose · 21/08/2022 16:02

Please - don’t let a man that you’ve been with 5 months, who has caused you to post at least 5 threads about in a month, film you having sex. Just… don’t.

Where does the op say he wants film her? I'm confused!

Despairingof · 21/08/2022 16:03

On your other you broke up with your long term
partner in March so presumably you met your current partner immediately. Slow down a bit for you own sanity, there’s no need to go from casual
dating to a full on relationship so quickly . Relax and decide what you want long term

emerald7 · 21/08/2022 16:04

Maybe he just wants some time to himself because you go away

ClearestBlue · 21/08/2022 16:14

Read up on codependency

ClearestBlue · 21/08/2022 16:15

Oh wow… drama drama drama

www.mumsnet.com/search?q=DaisyDooxox

butterflied · 21/08/2022 16:17

Wow.

bubblesandwineandallthingsfine · 21/08/2022 16:18

On this example alone yabu but are you going to drip feed more info?

bubblesandwineandallthingsfine · 21/08/2022 16:19

I think he’s seen your mumsnets posts and is planning his escape 😂

Famousinlove · 21/08/2022 19:51

ClearestBlue · 21/08/2022 16:15

Oh wow… drama drama drama

www.mumsnet.com/search?q=DaisyDooxox

Bloody hell

LadyOfTheCanyon · 21/08/2022 20:39

ClearestBlue · 21/08/2022 16:15

Oh wow… drama drama drama

www.mumsnet.com/search?q=DaisyDooxox

Crikey.

VickyEadieofThigh · 22/08/2022 13:32

A tad needy and dramatic.

IsJohnReadyToMakeAComeback · 22/08/2022 13:39

Sorry OP. You sound like really hard work.

LampLighter414 · 22/08/2022 13:41

Lockheart · 21/08/2022 13:42

This is a non-issue. You're dating, you're not surgically attached. Maybe he just wants a night on his own in his house before going on holiday?

This. A good nights sleep in his own place. Maybe he has some chores to sort. Doesn’t want to rush around in the morning to collect clothes for your trip etc

Prettybubblesintheair · 22/08/2022 13:50

Oh. My. God

you and this poor bloke are not meant to be. Just end it and stop torturing yourself over every little thing!

LoobyDop · 22/08/2022 14:14

Maybe he’s going home alone because it’s better than sitting watching your girlfriend start a million threads about you on mumsnet.

NippyWoowoo · 22/08/2022 14:21

I'm a good decade (give it take) older than the OP and happily single, not in the dating world, but omg a night out with a group of women (I only knew one) opened my eyes to a world of toxicity in dating and new relationships.

One woman admitted to memorising her boyfriend's password after getting it once to 'check something' (in a world where everyone has their own phones I don't know why this is a thing) and checking it every time he goes for a shower, not because she suspects anything, but because she wants to know what he's up to.

Another said she was on a date with a new guy and his friend and gf, and when the women got up to use the toilet she left her phone recording to hear what the guys were saying about her (nothing).

Where are young women getting these ideas that this kind of thing is ok and healthy?

OP, work on yourself and self-esteem; you don't need a relationship right now.

Crunchymum · 22/08/2022 14:23

I assume its all moot now as you are off on your trip but was the expectation to have dinner at your parents and go back to his or for him to stay at your parents?

Crunchymum · 22/08/2022 14:31

LoobyDop · 22/08/2022 14:14

Maybe he’s going home alone because it’s better than sitting watching your girlfriend start a million threads about you on mumsnet.

Fucking Hell @DaisyDooxox you need to sort yourself out.

I don't A/S but you have started threads on 10th (x2 threads), 11th, 12th, 14th and 15th August - that was without me even scrolling down.

You sound exhausting and a bit of a mess. What are you doing to try and fix this???

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