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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Run in with neighbour who threatened me

34 replies

batshitcrazyneighbour · 21/08/2022 10:57

Posting here for traffic:

Hoping someone can provide a bit of perspective as I'm feeling a bit shaken.

We live in an apartment block. In the 10 years we've been here, we've only had a run in with the lady who lives above us who'd always wait until we'd opened our balcony doors/were on our balcony before she'd decided to water her plants/wash the balcony 'floor' (these are metal floors with holes in them). We raised this being an issue with her directly many times and and also reported her to the building management. She carried on for over a number of months and I then called out the police and she stopped.

This morning, my children were in our corridor with their bikes while I was collecting last minute things to head out. Out comes another neighbour and starts shouting and threatening me that she’d break my DC bikes if we didn’t move asap. (This is someone who I was previously polite to and would say hi/bye to but she stopped talking to me a few years ago when I told her her Ds was weeing on the neighbour below hers washing). I told her to stop being ridiculous and she swore some more and told me she’d break me in half too! I told her any more threats and I’d report her to the police. My children started crying so I told my husband to take them out as I locked up but as I was leaving she blocked my way and told me she thought I was an arrogant bitch who thought I was better than anyone else in the building and that she knew how to bring people like me in line! I told her to move out of my way but she wouldn’t move- not even when her husband came out and tried to move her out of the way. She told me the lady I’d had an issue with previously had told her that I’d said she (this morning’s neighbour) was a troublemaker with a criminal record!!! At this point her children came out and started crying when they saw her livid and shouting at me. Anyway, lots more abuse and she finally moved when my husband came to check why I was taking so long.

What shall I do next? We’re moving out on Friday but I’m left deeply upset by this whole episode. She told me she was going to make my life hell and she’d be ‘watching’ my children too. I’m really worried she’ll try to hurt or sabotage us in some way. She was unhinged this morning and I don’t want anymore repeat episodes like this. To make matters worse, I went to the car and my husband had an almighty row with me telling me I was in the wrong and should’ve gone back into our flat. He told me I was at fault and liked an argument (we’re having a few issues where he is the one that has followed me around rooms to create an arguments when I’ve been silent not to make matters worse).

Throughout the argument she referred to me by my professional title (i know it doesn’t sound like I have one by the way this is written but I’m in shock and my fingers can’t catch up with my brain) and said she knew where I worked and what I’d been writing about online (academic research) and that she’d contact my workplace to them I’m a fraud!!!

OP posts:
batshitcrazyneighbour · 21/08/2022 10:58

Ps. My husband has form for this- he'll complain and complain about something and then when I do something to address the complaints, he'll tell me it's my fault and I shouldn't have done anything, etc.

OP posts:
NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 21/08/2022 11:03

It all sounds a bit weird, your neighbour is unhinged,but you do seem to fall out with people around you. Hopefully you won't fall out with neighbours at your next home.

birdling · 21/08/2022 11:05

Just look forward to moving out, I suppose.
If threatened again, call the police.

ThinWomansBrain · 21/08/2022 11:07

Well, sounds dire, but if you're moving out in a few days, I'd keep your head down and ignore.
The all sound grim - leave them to get on with each other and wee on other people's washing.

I was reading through with despair until I got to the "we're moving out on Friday"

JustTheOneSwan · 21/08/2022 11:07

You're moving in a few days just let the dust settle and go.

luckylavender · 21/08/2022 11:10

batshitcrazyneighbour · 21/08/2022 10:57

Posting here for traffic:

Hoping someone can provide a bit of perspective as I'm feeling a bit shaken.

We live in an apartment block. In the 10 years we've been here, we've only had a run in with the lady who lives above us who'd always wait until we'd opened our balcony doors/were on our balcony before she'd decided to water her plants/wash the balcony 'floor' (these are metal floors with holes in them). We raised this being an issue with her directly many times and and also reported her to the building management. She carried on for over a number of months and I then called out the police and she stopped.

This morning, my children were in our corridor with their bikes while I was collecting last minute things to head out. Out comes another neighbour and starts shouting and threatening me that she’d break my DC bikes if we didn’t move asap. (This is someone who I was previously polite to and would say hi/bye to but she stopped talking to me a few years ago when I told her her Ds was weeing on the neighbour below hers washing). I told her to stop being ridiculous and she swore some more and told me she’d break me in half too! I told her any more threats and I’d report her to the police. My children started crying so I told my husband to take them out as I locked up but as I was leaving she blocked my way and told me she thought I was an arrogant bitch who thought I was better than anyone else in the building and that she knew how to bring people like me in line! I told her to move out of my way but she wouldn’t move- not even when her husband came out and tried to move her out of the way. She told me the lady I’d had an issue with previously had told her that I’d said she (this morning’s neighbour) was a troublemaker with a criminal record!!! At this point her children came out and started crying when they saw her livid and shouting at me. Anyway, lots more abuse and she finally moved when my husband came to check why I was taking so long.

What shall I do next? We’re moving out on Friday but I’m left deeply upset by this whole episode. She told me she was going to make my life hell and she’d be ‘watching’ my children too. I’m really worried she’ll try to hurt or sabotage us in some way. She was unhinged this morning and I don’t want anymore repeat episodes like this. To make matters worse, I went to the car and my husband had an almighty row with me telling me I was in the wrong and should’ve gone back into our flat. He told me I was at fault and liked an argument (we’re having a few issues where he is the one that has followed me around rooms to create an arguments when I’ve been silent not to make matters worse).

Throughout the argument she referred to me by my professional title (i know it doesn’t sound like I have one by the way this is written but I’m in shock and my fingers can’t catch up with my brain) and said she knew where I worked and what I’d been writing about online (academic research) and that she’d contact my workplace to them I’m a fraud!!!

So you said you'd only had one 'run in' with a neighbour & go in to mention a second one. And you're moving on Friday. What's the problem?

vodkaredbullgirl · 21/08/2022 11:12

You are moving out soon, ignore her.

ThisIsAddiction · 21/08/2022 11:14

she stopped talking to me a few years ago when I told her her Ds was weeing on the neighbour below hers washing

im sorry. WHAT?,

custardbear · 21/08/2022 11:23

Just move out and enjoy your new home

VerifiedBot2351 · 21/08/2022 11:25

Thank goodness you are moving.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 21/08/2022 11:28

Now about your husband...

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 21/08/2022 11:29

Is there a possibility that your arguments with your DH, your two kids, and your work stuff, and coming and going up and down the corridors, is louder than you think (hence neighbours knowing everything about you) and pissing off everyone around you? I say this as someone who is also stuck in a two bed flat with two kids btw but its easy to piss neighbours off if you’re not super careful in this living situation.

KarmaStar · 21/08/2022 11:36

If you see her again switch your phone to record and ignore her or if she won't let you pass tell her she is being recorded and ask her to move.remain calm.return to your flat for a minute of you can and then go out again if she approached a second time then make it clear you are calling the necessary authorities about harassment.remain calm,polite.
less than a week to go.
remind your dc that if she approached them to also remain calm and come indoors,to not engage.

Quveas · 21/08/2022 11:37

It does sound a bit like six of one and half a dozen of another - unless you, your husband and your kids are all super neighbours and never piss anyone off. Which doesn't appear to be the case according to more than one of your neighbours. You are leaving anyway, so just leave. It sounds like the best thing all round.

KyaClark · 21/08/2022 11:41

One of the dumbest things I've ever read on here.

girlfriend44 · 21/08/2022 11:53

Tell the police otherwise she will think she can do this to anyone without consequence.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 21/08/2022 11:56

It sounds like it’s for the best that you are moving. Perhaps when dealing with your next set of neighbours, avoid any sentences that begin with “I thought you ought to know…”

longwayoff · 21/08/2022 12:00

You're moving. That's lucky, they sound vile and you sound quite reactive. Keep your distance from the next lot I your new house.

BeggarsMeddle · 21/08/2022 12:00

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 21/08/2022 11:56

It sounds like it’s for the best that you are moving. Perhaps when dealing with your next set of neighbours, avoid any sentences that begin with “I thought you ought to know…”

Out of genuine interest, how would you word it?

GabriellaMontez · 21/08/2022 12:05

I'm not surprised you're shaken. Thank goodness you're moving. There are some awful people around. She's one of them.

Your husband was extremely unsupportive. Sounds like the problem you have with him needs to be tackles separately.

ClearestBlue · 21/08/2022 12:06

Yeah yeah neighbour drama BUT let’s talk about the real problem, your relationship.

GabriellaMontez · 21/08/2022 12:06

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 21/08/2022 11:56

It sounds like it’s for the best that you are moving. Perhaps when dealing with your next set of neighbours, avoid any sentences that begin with “I thought you ought to know…”

What's wrong with beginning a sentence like this?

Sounds like she did need to know...

LondonWolf · 21/08/2022 12:09

Well you're moving out so that takes care of that. Now what do you plan to do about your disloyal, blaming husband?

MajorCarolDanvers · 21/08/2022 12:13

Report to the police.

Move.

Make a real effort to be friendly with new neighbours

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 21/08/2022 12:15

GabriellaMontez · 21/08/2022 12:06

What's wrong with beginning a sentence like this?

Sounds like she did need to know...

Because people often shoot the messenger. Sometimes it pays to mind your own business.