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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I feel like my life is in a mess

8 replies

Cannotthinkofadecentname · 21/08/2022 10:28

I definitely have some sort of mental health problems which don't help.
I've always been shy and lacking in confidence despite many interventions/attempts to improve it. I've now just accepted it as part of who I am.
I was bullied at school a lot, I mean for years on end, and I think that a small part of it has stuck with me sadly.
I did well academically, have a degree and qualified as a teacher. I can speak different languages and have lived abroad.
I've always suffered with boundaries, I always seem to (and my partner thinks the same) have friends who don't value me that much, wouldn't make the effort to travel to see me, that sort of thing. Some of them make small jokey comments and I can't tell if they're digs or not but then other times are lovely.
I've struggled to hold down a permanent job. I've never been out of work since graduating, but it's always been temp work. I do have one job I've now had for over a year but it's part time and min wage, alongside other work. I don't have the confidence to go for a full time teaching role. I feel that I'd be rubbish and have poor behavior management skills plus I'd end up getting bullied by other staff, this has happened in a couple of jobs.
People joke about my work situation but I feel ashamed of it.
I am 31 and have a partner of 2.5 years who's 27. I don't think he'd be ready to get engaged this young and this is another thing that worries me.
Finally, I'm trying to lose 3/4kg but can't do it. I'm addicted to sugar and carbs, managed to do really well for a few weeks and lost 2kg but it's gone back on. I always seem to have something to be stressed about in life which doesn't help.
I can have low self esteem and always think that others are better than me even though there's no proof.
I've already spoken to a doctor about this and take anxiety medication which helps to an extent.
I just want to get my life in order, get a house deposit sorted, build confidence in myself and get my work sorted.

OP posts:
Cannotthinkofadecentname · 21/08/2022 10:28

It's just all getting too much really

OP posts:
Cannotthinkofadecentname · 21/08/2022 10:30

I just don't know where to start

OP posts:
GrandSlamFinalee · 21/08/2022 10:31

I’m sorry to hear this OP. Life can feel very overwhelming at times for me too. On paper it looks great but there are always things to worry and stress about.

You have listed many things you’d like to change / improve. Personally, I don’t think you can tackle them all at the same time.

Make a list. Choose one thing. Focus on that first. Be it ending a friendship, losing 1kg, looking for a new job or deciding to start saving X per month, just start with ONE thing. Don’t try to do them all at the same time is my advice.

It takes 21 days to establish a habit. You need to focus on one thing consistently until you start feeling more at ease with it.

naomi81 · 21/08/2022 10:35

Sounds like me, I am going for an adhd assessment x

Cannotthinkofadecentname · 21/08/2022 10:35

Thank you, I'll try to break it down into chunks.
Aiming for 1kg a week if possible.
I'll try to go back to my old eating plan for at least 3 weeks like you suggest and then hopefully it'll become more of a habit

OP posts:
Cannotthinkofadecentname · 21/08/2022 10:37

I hope that the assessment helps you figure things out. I do wonder if I have it too. I've always felt different from all my friends. They consider me clever but scatty, chaotic, disorganized.

OP posts:
naomi81 · 21/08/2022 10:40

Yes I was looking it up as I was concerned about my daughter and I though omg this is me. Yes I am hoping an assessment will help, since having my daughter it's just got worse Confused

Cannotthinkofadecentname · 21/08/2022 13:20

I hope things work out for you and your daughter :)
Writing this has helped me to an extent, I'm motivated for my hopeful 1kg a week weight loss and I'm going to apply for permanent roles. I need to believe I can do it

OP posts:
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