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AIBU?

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At loss with my life. Please help

2 replies

Elvisqueen · 20/08/2022 23:18

Good evening all,

I am so embarrassed to write this... so much that I have name changed as this is very identifying.

I just don't know what to do with my life and feel such at loss.

I am 28 years old with a 12 year old disabled DC. I have a Masters degree and currently work as an OT band 6 part time. But I...still live at home with family (Blush). I wished I pushed for housing when I just had my DD (as in made a fuss, actively looking) but I was in a terrible abusive relationship and I knew that if I had my own flat, I would have allowed her dad to live with us and the abuse would have escalated and my DD would have been taken away.

But anyway, I have been on the housing register for the past 10 years and just not getting no where.I had savings which we were 18,000 but most have been spent on my daughters private therapies, the time we had to go to court to obtain funding for her school, tutoring, hobbies... honestly if I count up all the money I have spent on private therapies (particularly) for my DD, I would have had two houses by now. But! I don't regret it as she wouldn't be where she is today if it wasn't for all that intensive help and support that I have paid for all those years.

But I feel stuck in my life. I don't have much savings... possible around £6grand. I desperately want a home for my DD. Where she can have sleepovers, have her own space. I even now sleep in the living room as she needs the space (she's growing up). It's just that the waiting lists on the HR are taking forever. I am desperately considering private but my friends and close family member tell me no as it's wasting my money. I have spoken to my Housing Office Team and they have offered me private accommodation-whilst I remain on the bidding register.. but even that is taking such a long time.

I have written to MP's (previously) but not much use.

I am now considering applying for the Help to Buy Scheme and wondering if I should just go for that? What are propels thoughts? I have heard pros and cons but looking at information over the internet is just king boggling. If anyone knows where I can access sound advice please let me know.

But I feel like such a failure in my life. The one thing I haven't done for my DD is give her a home for her to grow in.

OP posts:
thingsarestrange · 20/08/2022 23:27

Ahhhhhh it’s sad isn’t it that we sometimes feel like a failure - when U have pointed out:

you are raising a child from a young age
you have a responsible job
you got rid of the destructive boyfriend

what is the private accommodation the council mentioned?
get more details on the shared ownership and do your maths could you afford it?
remember your only 28 you still have loads of young adult time to do what you want/need.

junebirthdaygirl · 20/08/2022 23:29

I think you have done fantastically well. Stop beating yourself up. Getting early intervention therapy for your dc was so important so be really proud you did that. In my extended family a relative had a baby early and is on her own with her ds. She is now 32 and just in the process of buying her own home. There is no shame in living with your dps as hopefully they have been a support for you.
I have no advice as don't really know the system but hold your head up..you sound like a super mom.

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