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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about dog sitter?

117 replies

Dygger · 20/08/2022 23:11

We have an elderly deaf dog who gets distressed in kennels, so when we were invited to attend a family wedding abroad we asked around to see if anyone we knew would dog-sit for a week. A friend who used to live nearby but moved away a few years ago, jumped at the chance to spend a week here and catch up with her old mates. We agreed to leave her a full fridge and wine in exchange for dog care..

A couple of weeks before we were due to leave she called to say that her request to take the time off work as holiday had been denied and she'd have to take it as unpaid leave. She works part-time and isn't very well off. She wasn't sure she could afford to come if it meant she wouldn't be paid, so we ended up agreeing that I'd pay her £250 plus petrol money. She arrived as planned and we went off on our trip. She sent photos each day of the dog out and about on various walks.

When we got back we discovered that the day after we left she'd tripped over a tree root on a footpath and injured her back. She could barely move, so one of her local friends, whom we know by sight, had looked after her and the dog. Fortunately she was feeling a lot better and was able to drive herself home.

I didn't think any more about it until earlier today when I bumped into the woman who'd helped out. I thanked her. She said she was glad she'd been available to come to the rescue and then said something about her rate for dog-walking being £20 a hour. I was a bit thrown and said she'd be the first person we'd call if we needed a dog-walker in future. She didn't look happy and said something about not normally offering freebies.

I don't know what to do. On the one hand it doesn't feel fair that we pay twice. They didn't even let us know there was an issue. On the other hand this is a village and it won't take long for word of how mean and thoughtless we are to do the rounds.

Do we need to pay the woman who stepped in to help? If so, how much would you offer?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dygger · 21/08/2022 12:15

To repeat, the woman who walked the dog after my friend's accident is not a professional dog-walker. And perhaps I should add that the dog is 14 and a 20-minute stroll is all her needs, not long hikes.

I'm gobsmacked at most of the responses. I asked around a few friends to see if anyone would like to come and look after the dog in our nice quirky house a 15-minute walk from a lovely beach in August. Our friend jumped at it and said it would be a holiday for her and a chance to catch up with all the people she hasn't seen for a few years. She didn't want money to start with. Other people, including my partner's sister, would have come and looked after him if the vacancy hadn't already been filled.

Then it became a paid gig. Now I find that someone else, someone I know only by sight, seems to be expecting me to pay her too. To add insult to injury, our next door neighbours, whom our dog knows and likes, have said they'd have walked him if they'd known there was a problem, as have various other dog-owners round here whom I know from dog-walking for years. If my friend had phoned when she hurt herself and told me what was going on I could have contacted the neighbours and dog-owners and asked for help.

Ishacoco, than you for the voice of sanity.

OP posts:
KyaClark · 21/08/2022 12:16

How on earth is this a dilemma? Pay the damn dog Walker!
*
Maybe read the other comments to see not everyone thinks* she should, hence the dilemma...

Irridescantshimmmer · 21/08/2022 12:16

I think the woman who is expecting you to pay her £20 per hour is trying to pull a fast one and the verbal agreement is between her and the person who asked her to step in due to the accident.

So no, you owe her nothing, she is trying to take advantage of you, and is doing so right in the middle of a cost of living crisis, which is disgraceful.

stoppedmyselfwastingmoneytoday · 21/08/2022 12:25

How much is the stand in asking to be paid?

blockpavingismynightmare · 21/08/2022 12:28

Wow.. some friend she turned out to be. She was paid by you and so she should pay her friend with the money you gave her to walk your dog. Simples

mountainsunsets · 21/08/2022 12:29

@Dygger of course your friend is the issue here, but none of this would have happened if you'd paid for professional pet care in the first place.

The risk you take when getting neighbours/friends/family to do the job of a professional is that they won't necessarily do it properly - and you also can't dictate how you want it done as it's "just a favour".

You either pay for a professional who can organise cover in case of an emergency, or you use friends/family and accept that they're not professionals and will therefore do pretty much whatever they like as they're doing you a favour.

Astitichintimesaveswine · 21/08/2022 12:34

I wouldn't pay her. It's for the person you asked to do it to do. If anyone asks you you can say that you never asked the stand-in to stand in.

MugginsOverEre · 21/08/2022 12:45

Ask the woman how many hours walking she did for your dog. Before that, ask your friend the same. I expect you'll be charged an hour per walk when in reality it would have been a quick ten minutes round the block. You'll feel better referring her back to the friend who hired her. If I paid £20 an hour for a service you can damn well expect to show me the contract, insurance etc.

PuppyMonkey · 21/08/2022 12:46

But... if you hadn't randomly bumped into the dog walker, you'd never have known anything about her wanting the money.

stoppedmyselfwastingmoneytoday · 21/08/2022 12:51

I understand the rationale for not paying however, I can also understand why the stand-in feels like she should be paid. Ultimately, it is your responsibility to liaise with your friend and sort this out between the two of you. The stand-in is the only person in this scenario with no accountability who stepped in and helped out a beloved dog in need.

SimonaRazowska · 21/08/2022 12:59

Pay the dog walker

Ditch the "friend" who tricked you into paying her £250 for not even walking the dog

She should have paid to dog walker out of the money you'd given her

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 21/08/2022 13:02

Bellisima234 · 20/08/2022 23:16

Yes she isn’t a charity and you owe her for dog walking services and you pay her whatever her rates are.

What?

She paid someone to dog sit, she couldn't do half the job so she got someone else to do it, why should the OP pay both of them?

the house sitter needs to pay the dog Walker!

@Dygger your sitter arranged someone to do part of the job you paid her to do. She made the arrangement, not you, you already covered your dog being looked after which includes it being walked.

firstly I'd be furious she didn't contact me & tell me she couldn't walk the dog and I'd be doubly furious that she allowed someone else to walk my dog. id rather have made thise arrangements myself. Irrespective of who is paying, I don't let my dog go off with just anyone.

id contact the dog Walker, be clear that you didn't know the sitter had had her walk your dog, nor what arrangement they'd come to. Not your arrangement, not your cost, tell her you paid the sitter & to get any money she thinks she's used from them.

keep an eye on SM, don't be afraid to let your point across if anything is said!!

MugginsOverEre · 21/08/2022 13:11

For the ones who say you must pay the dog walker (who isn't actually a proper dog walker) would you be okay if I was hired for a job, took the payment for it, outsourced to someone else and said you needed to pay them too?

cstaff · 21/08/2022 13:20

This is insane op. How many times and how many different people should you pay to do the one job. Considering this started out similar to a house swap and full fridge because the original dog sitter wanted to visit old friends, this has gotten completely out of hand.

LarkspurLane · 21/08/2022 13:33

MugginsOverEre · 21/08/2022 13:11

For the ones who say you must pay the dog walker (who isn't actually a proper dog walker) would you be okay if I was hired for a job, took the payment for it, outsourced to someone else and said you needed to pay them too?

I'm interested in the answer to this as well.
I know she was a friend, but a friend who could have called you when she was injured and discussed options with you.

ThinWomansBrain · 21/08/2022 13:41

I'd call the woman that was supposed to be dog sitting and see what she agreed to with the woman.
She should have called you first before agreeing to you paying £££ for a dog walker - or at least have mentioned it when you arrived back.
Sounds as if "DW" is trying it on.

Brigante9 · 21/08/2022 14:02

You need to talk to your mate and get her to clarify with her friend if she actually wants money and remind her that she should have contacted you when she hurt herself. You could have then asked your dp’s sister. Expecting you to pay twice is unfair, imo.

Christonabike37 · 21/08/2022 14:10

I'd just laugh it off as a bad joke. You've paid someone to look after the dog. If she then outsourced that, for whatever reason, its not your duty to pay again.

I think she's just trying her luck tbh

SirChenjins · 21/08/2022 14:17

Not your problem OP - your friend called on a friend of hers to help out, so the onus is on her to sort out any payment. You can’t charge some retrospectively for something you did without having a verbal or written agreement with them.

Ignore the professional YABUers, they’re talking nonsense as per.

KosherDill · 21/08/2022 14:33

Dygger · 21/08/2022 12:15

To repeat, the woman who walked the dog after my friend's accident is not a professional dog-walker. And perhaps I should add that the dog is 14 and a 20-minute stroll is all her needs, not long hikes.

I'm gobsmacked at most of the responses. I asked around a few friends to see if anyone would like to come and look after the dog in our nice quirky house a 15-minute walk from a lovely beach in August. Our friend jumped at it and said it would be a holiday for her and a chance to catch up with all the people she hasn't seen for a few years. She didn't want money to start with. Other people, including my partner's sister, would have come and looked after him if the vacancy hadn't already been filled.

Then it became a paid gig. Now I find that someone else, someone I know only by sight, seems to be expecting me to pay her too. To add insult to injury, our next door neighbours, whom our dog knows and likes, have said they'd have walked him if they'd known there was a problem, as have various other dog-owners round here whom I know from dog-walking for years. If my friend had phoned when she hurt herself and told me what was going on I could have contacted the neighbours and dog-owners and asked for help.

Ishacoco, than you for the voice of sanity.

Did dog-walker charge your friend? If so, I'd reimburse that. You surely don't want your low income friend to be out of pocket

For what it's worth, I pay 100 a night to my elderly dog's live-in sitter. And leave full fridge. And she's well employed in the financial services industry.

I would have paid a low-income friend much more than 250 for a week.

mountainsunsets · 21/08/2022 14:34

KosherDill · 21/08/2022 14:33

Did dog-walker charge your friend? If so, I'd reimburse that. You surely don't want your low income friend to be out of pocket

For what it's worth, I pay 100 a night to my elderly dog's live-in sitter. And leave full fridge. And she's well employed in the financial services industry.

I would have paid a low-income friend much more than 250 for a week.

Show quote history

Why?

That's the friends' fault for hiring a dog walker without talking to OP. OP says her neighbours would have walked the dog had they known there was an issue.

KosherDill · 21/08/2022 14:35

MugginsOverEre · 21/08/2022 13:11

For the ones who say you must pay the dog walker (who isn't actually a proper dog walker) would you be okay if I was hired for a job, took the payment for it, outsourced to someone else and said you needed to pay them too?

If i knew you forfeited a week's pay in order to help me out, I would expect you to bear all the burdens of an unfortunate accident.

KosherDill · 21/08/2022 14:37

I meant "wouldn't expect you"...

Suzi888 · 21/08/2022 14:40

Hotandbothereds · 20/08/2022 23:18

I mean bring it up with your friend as she needs to pay her! She agreed to her taking the dog out, it needs to come out of the £250 you’ve already paid.

^ This
How did this arrangement come about? The ‘contract’ was verbal one between your mate and the dog walker. You’ve already paid your friend!

Original poster
Dygger · 21/08/2022 14:42

Thank you to those who have confirmed that I have no obligation to pay a woman I don't know for services I had no idea she was performing. I thought I was going mad last night.

The question about how people would feel about paying someone to do a job, then being asked to pay a second time when the first person couldn't do it, is excellent.

OP posts:
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