Right I've got a dilemma.

[poppycatty]

I was out tonight with a group of friends. One of the husbands shared with me that his daughter had self harmed - I knew of her struggles but not this. I then confessed that from 13 onwards I thought daily of suicide and still do on a daily basis - I never would because of my family and don't feel like this all the time but I have just had two family members die within weeks and all I could think was how lucky they were. I have a great life, supportive husband and fantastic older children. What is wrong with me? I am on antidepressants and feel ok.

There is nothing wrong with you and I don't think having a "picture perfect" life means you can't suffer with those sort of thoughts. I suffer from depression and it really annoys me when someone says "what do you have to be depressed about?" like I'm suddenly going to be like "Oh my God you're right!"

I would advise you to speak to your GP or a therapist to discuss your thoughts. Sometimes opening up and discussing intrusive thoughts with someone helps. For me personally, medication didn't help. That doesn't mean it won't work for you, but sometimes it's just not enough.