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Original poster

Suspicious email

27 replies

suspiciousemail · 20/08/2022 22:03

From DH to a woman he worked with over the phone and email only as far as I'm aware, for 2 years. She works for a local company.

Both same age, both decent looking. Both married, she is his type.

He started at new company recently but both use her companies services.

Email said
" Hi You, told you we would meet again lol. New number is : 0000000"

Don't know if I'm being OTT, but I would never dream of saying "hi you" to someone at work?

OP posts:
averageavocado · 20/08/2022 22:06

Hmmm I might say hi you....

Unless there's something else, I would worry

But you're tingling over something. What else is there?

KrisAkabusi · 20/08/2022 22:10

Can't believe how inoffensive that message is. I wouldn't read anything into that at all. It just looks like two workmates reacquainting after a gap.

Original poster
suspiciousemail · 20/08/2022 22:12

Without drip feeding about a year ago we were in the car, she called him about a work issue. He answered and put her on speaker through the car, she obviously didn't know this. She was flirty on the phone, over friendly. He was friendly back and hung up. I said who was that and he told me. I said do you always speak to people at work like that in a jokey way. He said ohh you've got to keep X company on side. I didn't say anything else but certainly noted it.

Whole reason I clicked on that email is because I remembered her name from that call.

OP posts:
Tandora · 20/08/2022 22:14

Going against the two pps but I think “hi you” is a very over familiar and inappropriate way to address a colleague!! But maybe that’s his character? A bit over friendly/ flirty?

Original poster
suspiciousemail · 20/08/2022 22:15

KrisAkabusi · 20/08/2022 22:10

Can't believe how inoffensive that message is. I wouldn't read anything into that at all. It just looks like two workmates reacquainting after a gap.

Okay thanks, like I said whole point of the post was don't know if I'm being over the top.

I work in a different environment where I would never write Hi You to a male co worker but accept this might be normal elsewhere

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 20/08/2022 22:15

but I would never dream of saying "hi you" to someone at work

I think that's the point. YOU wouldn't dream of saying that to a work acquaintance, but maybe he would! Maybe they've always been a wee bit flirty with each other, nothing more. I wouldn't read that much into it. It's clearly very 'light' so I think if anything proper had ever gone on they'd be much more serious.

MrsU2022 · 20/08/2022 22:16

To be honest, if I saw my husband message an old colleague this...I would think it flirty and inappropriate and would be pissed off!

Tandora · 20/08/2022 22:16

suspiciousemail · 20/08/2022 22:12

Without drip feeding about a year ago we were in the car, she called him about a work issue. He answered and put her on speaker through the car, she obviously didn't know this. She was flirty on the phone, over friendly. He was friendly back and hung up. I said who was that and he told me. I said do you always speak to people at work like that in a jokey way. He said ohh you've got to keep X company on side. I didn't say anything else but certainly noted it.

Whole reason I clicked on that email is because I remembered her name from that call.

If there was anything going on though he wouldn’t have put her on speaker. Sounds like they just have an over friendly/ flirtatious dynamic. I wouldn’t worry about it particularly unless there’s other stuff/ other reason not to trust him.

MerryMarigold · 20/08/2022 22:19

Whole reason I clicked on that email is because I remembered her name from that call

Hang about! You opened his email? That's much worse than vaguely flirty banter.

Original poster
suspiciousemail · 20/08/2022 22:21

MrsU2022 · 20/08/2022 22:16

To be honest, if I saw my husband message an old colleague this...I would think it flirty and inappropriate and would be pissed off!

I think it's flirty and wouldn't speak like that either.

What made me question it was the. "Hi You" and the "told you we would meet again" . Why was this conversation even had if they only talk via email and phone calls.

There's many emails on there to others he has caught back up with that are addressed normally.

OP posts:
Original poster
suspiciousemail · 20/08/2022 22:22

MerryMarigold · 20/08/2022 22:19

Whole reason I clicked on that email is because I remembered her name from that call

Hang about! You opened his email? That's much worse than vaguely flirty banter.

He knew I was going on his emails to find a document we need for home, he has no password on his work phone. He would go onto my emails if I asked him too.

OP posts:
Blue4YOU · 20/08/2022 22:23

I’m certain I’ve read this exact post before…

noclothesinbed · 20/08/2022 22:25

I think hi you is flirtatious and it would bother me. Ha I got said that if there was something going on he would not have put he on loud In the car !

noclothesinbed · 20/08/2022 22:26

Having said that should be !

Crikeyalmighty · 20/08/2022 22:40

Is he in something sales related?? A lot of guys who are can often be a bit over familiar- I wouldn't read too much into it .

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 20/08/2022 22:42

OK, firstly, I've got emails to my grandma that are more inappropriate than that.

And secondly, you read a bunch of his work emails, because you once overheard a friendly conversation between them. What the absolute fuck is wrong with you? I'd be leaving you for that alone!

CrystalCoco · 20/08/2022 22:44

Blue4YOU · 20/08/2022 22:23

I’m certain I’ve read this exact post before…

Yip me too.

Hi you / hey you are flirty in my book, worth keeping an eye on the pair of them.

MadonnasKebab · 20/08/2022 22:47

I would if we’d friendly at one job and then got to work together again

Bettysnow · 20/08/2022 22:55

If there was anything going on i doubt very much he would have put her on loudspeaker and wouldn't have allowed you easy access to his emails.
That said i wouldn't be comfortable either with how over familiar they are. I think you should ask him how he'd feel if this was you and a male colleague? I imagine he wouldn't be too impressed.
Hopefully its nothing only silly banter but i think you need to tell him how hurtful you find it

Octomore · 20/08/2022 23:00

You read his work emails? Seriously?!

The fact that he put her on speakerphone in front of you strongly indicates there was never anything to worry about. But you shouldn't be accessing your partner's work email, as it's guaranteed to be against company policy. Where I work, giving DH access to my emails would be considered gross misconduct.

Original poster
suspiciousemail · 20/08/2022 23:05

Bettysnow · 20/08/2022 22:55

If there was anything going on i doubt very much he would have put her on loudspeaker and wouldn't have allowed you easy access to his emails.
That said i wouldn't be comfortable either with how over familiar they are. I think you should ask him how he'd feel if this was you and a male colleague? I imagine he wouldn't be too impressed.
Hopefully its nothing only silly banter but i think you need to tell him how hurtful you find it

Yes that's how I feel, I don't think at all he having a full blown affair. But I don't think its appropriate to speak like that either or be flirty at work

OP posts:
Octomore · 20/08/2022 23:07

Well I don't think it's appropriate to read your partner's work emails either, but there you go.

Wonnle · 20/08/2022 23:09

Have you a lodger you want to get rid of ?

MasterBeth · 20/08/2022 23:26

Good grief! Perfectly normal informal work language. Not even flirty. Friendly.

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/08/2022 23:26

I would say Hi You / Hey You to people I work with. Where on earth do you work that’s so formal?? Also stop reading his emails, it’s invasive and weird.