Just interested to see what people thought here.
group of five friends, three single, one in LTR, one in a shorter term relationship but partners are friends with the group too (ie will come out for dinner / drinks / holidays etc.
four out of five birthdays cycle around and effort made for all - for example everyone buys each other presents, everyone makes effort to go to drinks or organise them, one friend is good at flower arranging and does bouquets for everyone - standard sort of thing (not excessive, not a lot of money spent but effort made IYSWIM).
last friends birthday is at end of July. For context, which I think is important, this friend is one of the single ones. It’s decided presents won’t be bought as it seems daft (just exchanging the same sorts of gifts back and forth).
BUT also, no effort made to come to drinks - they are arranged but no one can make it aside from one other. Notably less fuss made, friend ended up spending birthday with the one other friend (for disclosure this is me) and had a nice time but obviously felt a bit miffed.
the attitude is not everyone cares as much about birthdays as each other - but I feel if it’s decided to tone it down, you do it at the end of a clear birthday cycle so it’s not just one person left out? (All birthdays apart from hers are in March/ April so it can clearly be done as hers is the last if that makes sense).
anyway it’s caused a rift in the group and I don’t know how to rectify it. Yes we are adults not primary school kids and I feel happy making the effort, but it does feel very unfair AND I feel people in LTR may forget how it feels not to have that one other person making a fuss as a guarantee?