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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To see dp more as family than a partner

4 replies

Itsmeg4 · 20/08/2022 15:06

Just that really. Does anyone experience this. We have been together for 3 years mid twenties with dc. I just cant look at dc in a sexual/attractive light anymore. When he kisses me holds me i get nothing. I know butterflies are silly honeymoon stage things but it literally does nothing for me. I love him but it feels like how I love a family member. I enjoy his company and love doing things together. But since dc has come along the role and way I view him in is different. I jist dont understand how to feel attracted to someone who I parent with?

I yearn for those feelings again and I feel like im turning into a rock. Is this just how it is being a 24/7 sahm or being in a long term relationship. I dont want to get rid of dp as I love the comfortability and family unit we have. I love spending time with him and sharing hobbies. My family member has a partner but goes off and sees people behind his back. I know its cheating and I dont think its right but im starting to understand after 5 children why she is doing it. She still wants to feel something but she doesnt want to leave her partner. Its incredibly selfish and Im not saying I would follow in her shoes but I get it....

Why cant I just be happy with what I have! I used to date around and wish for a long term partner. Now i have one he feels like a family member rather than a boyfriend and I miss dating.

OP posts:
Sunnyqueen · 20/08/2022 15:10

Do you get much one on one bonding time with your partner? Date nights etc? I think it's normal that yes things won't feel exactly like they did when you first got together and pre children but it's understandable to still want a spark and to fancy each other.

Itsmeg4 · 20/08/2022 15:18

No not really. Never have the time or childcare to go out

OP posts:
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 20/08/2022 17:48

I think all relationships go through this but I can honestly say I have always fancied DH.

Needsomeadvice33 · 20/08/2022 20:27

I'll be honest. I think after 3 years this is bad news. I'm with my husband 5.5 years, married 3 and we are obsessed with eachother. I was with my ex 3 years and we were incompatible, I felt that way about him. In fact no I actually just disliked him. 3 years in is nothing, you should be honeymoon phase not an old married couple.

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