Page 2 | Partner turned his back on me in conversation

Rocktheboat56 · 2022-08-20T14:01:11+00:00

So my partner isn't the most socially aware. We were sitting on an L shape sofa with one of his friends. He then turned so that when talking he could only make eye contact with his friend. I mentioned it after because I've seen this before in the work place and im wary it makes people feel left out or like they aren't important. He argued back that I was in the wrong because his friend was the guest so they are the priority. I understand that but then he now says I'm in the wrong because what I'm saying doesn't make sense. May be I'm over thinking this?

JustSortYoursefOut · 20/08/2022 16:15

are you desperate to be included in all his conversations?

Summersdreaming · 20/08/2022 16:16

YABU and extremely over sensitive.

WonderingWanda · 20/08/2022 16:25

We're you participating in the conversation?

Rachie1973 · 20/08/2022 16:25

Tad over sensitive.

Are you offended if he faces away in bed too?

Soontobe60 · 20/08/2022 16:26

We need a diagram of the seating plan!

Marvellousmadness · 20/08/2022 16:27

Omg how dare he. Ltb

DenholmElliot1 · 20/08/2022 16:28

I think OP is having a laugh with us and thats why she specificially told us that it was an L shaped sofa - I mean, why else would you say that?😉

SunnyD44 · 20/08/2022 16:34

Of course you are BU.

It sounds like he was having a conversation with his friend so instead of twisting his neck, he turned his body so it’s easier to talk to him.

What we’re they talking about?
Did you need to be part of it?

JudgeJ · 20/08/2022 19:16

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 20/08/2022 15:26

LTB. For his sake.

That made me laugh! I often think that about some of the whiney posts where someone can't control their other half's life.

Original poster

Rocktheboat56 · 21/08/2022 13:27

It's easy to say overthinking but I am friends with both of them. It's not a case of he'll be staring at the wall. When I was in the same position I made sure I turned my head so both of them were engaged in the conversation.

If you were having a conversation with two friends regardless of your relationship to them and only made eye contact with one would the other not wonder why there were even there if they are clearly a third wheel?

OP posts:

Original poster

Rocktheboat56 · 21/08/2022 13:29

I should point out that once on a tour the person giving it moved us to another part. Out of not realising my partner stood right in between me and the tour guide. I had no where else to stand or move to so had to say can you move. Otherwise I'd have been staring at the back of his head.

Just shows a lack of thought on his part for me.

OP posts:

PlanetNormal · 21/08/2022 13:35

YABU.

Grow up and stop being so petty.

Aiionwatha · 21/08/2022 13:39

If it was the man accusing you of the same thing, he'd be labelled abusive and controlling.

mountainsunsets · 21/08/2022 13:49

I think you're hugely overreacting here.

Whatabambam · 21/08/2022 14:51

I don't think that you are being unreasonable, you are clearly getting a sense that you are being excluded. I related to this as my ex used to 'perform' when in front of guests and it's like I didn't exist unless I interrupted him which I was always sensitive about doing as I didn't want to embarrass him or myself. I used to wonder if the other person felt as awkward as me. Perhaps this is a sign of something slightly deeper.looking back my ex was just rather arrogant and cocky and these seemingly innocuous events were trying to tell me something about the bigger situation. Listen to your instincts.

bellac11 · 21/08/2022 15:52

Whatabambam · 21/08/2022 14:51

I don't think that you are being unreasonable, you are clearly getting a sense that you are being excluded. I related to this as my ex used to 'perform' when in front of guests and it's like I didn't exist unless I interrupted him which I was always sensitive about doing as I didn't want to embarrass him or myself. I used to wonder if the other person felt as awkward as me. Perhaps this is a sign of something slightly deeper.looking back my ex was just rather arrogant and cocky and these seemingly innocuous events were trying to tell me something about the bigger situation. Listen to your instincts.

If a person is slightly paranoid, needy, externally driven and has little confidence their instincts are going to be unreliable.

pictish · 21/08/2022 16:04

Rocktheboat56 · 21/08/2022 13:29

I should point out that once on a tour the person giving it moved us to another part. Out of not realising my partner stood right in between me and the tour guide. I had no where else to stand or move to so had to say can you move. Otherwise I'd have been staring at the back of his head.

Just shows a lack of thought on his part for me.

Think you’re being pretty self-absorbed there.

Hotandbothereds · 21/08/2022 16:39

Rocktheboat56 · 21/08/2022 13:29

I should point out that once on a tour the person giving it moved us to another part. Out of not realising my partner stood right in between me and the tour guide. I had no where else to stand or move to so had to say can you move. Otherwise I'd have been staring at the back of his head.

Just shows a lack of thought on his part for me.

That’s a complete non event, it’s the kind of thing that could happen totally by accident, and never be thought about again by most people.

I think it’s pretty odd that you’ve remembered this as some kind of slight against you.

MissMaple82 · 21/08/2022 17:28

Good god, he turned to look at his friend whilst you were talking and this upsets you!! Come on surely your not that insecure!

ImpartialMongoose · 21/08/2022 19:14

I can imagine you felt excluded from the conversation. But it's easy for someone to do when trying to be polite to a guest. He is taking it as read that you feel secure in your relationship enough for him to focus on someone else.

ImpartialMongoose · 21/08/2022 19:22

Rocktheboat56 · 21/08/2022 13:29

I should point out that once on a tour the person giving it moved us to another part. Out of not realising my partner stood right in between me and the tour guide. I had no where else to stand or move to so had to say can you move. Otherwise I'd have been staring at the back of his head.

Just shows a lack of thought on his part for me.

I can see how that would seem inconsiderate. Some people are so anxious to impress socially they forget the feelings of their other half, because they have already secured social acceptance from their partner. I agree, it's annoying.