Hi,
First post sorry it’s a long one. I’m new to this and fulla hormones post partum so please no comments pulling me apart.
Ive been with my partner 3 years, it has been turbulent. The first two years his ex stopped me seeing the kids because she doesn’t like him being in a relationship. Then more excuses were made basically saying abysmal things about my children (implying my boys would do sexual things to DD). When Covid hit my DP and my children were not allowed round my DP and exes children Incase they passed on anything to their DD with asthma and her having an alleged low immune system. Parental alienation happened due to our relationship and it’s been very hard. But I pushed for him to go to court after years of control and he won access.
Fast forward to now and I have a 9 week old baby. I’ve had previous PPD but this time haven’t and I’m so enjoying being a new mum. However, DP ex was told during labour and shortly after her daily texts would not be answered (the kids calls obviously would) whilst we bonded with baby. She’s still kept messaging.
Today I lost my temper with my DP because for the past week him and his ex have been conversing about DS having tonsillitis. At no point I was told he had tonsillitis before he was brought over. I was told when he was here. To which I got really upset that neither of them considered that tonsillitis can be contagious and passed on via coughing, sneezing and close proximity. As well as newborns can get very sick off it stop eating etc when we’ve already had problems with her feeding and weight.
My DP has flew off the handle in response saying that “it’s just a sore throat” he has went to his mother’s with his kids in tow. I am so mad that there’s been no regard for our baby. Yet regard is meant to be given to the narc ex and her lack of boundaries.
I am struggling so much as my mama instincts are in full hilt. To protect her. And I feel my DP has put his own DD at risk because he’s scared of setting boundaries with said narc ex. I’ve never messaged her and not gotten involved even when she’s said vile things about my children. But too many boundaries have been crossed and to knowingly send a child with tonsillitis to my home has made me irate, and my DP has sided with her, not supporting me, how do I deal with this? Am I being unreasonable?