Settle an argument between me and DH. He said “most kids hate [primary] school”

[Bittenbitten]

I said it’s sad that our DS doesn’t like school (a reason why we’re looking to move him to another, different type of school). DH said: “Yeah but most kids hate school.”
I said, “Not primary! I loved my primary school.”
He replied that I was usual and that most kids hate primary as well as secondary school.

YANBU - most kids don’t hate primary
YABU - most kids hate primary school

My youngest hates school. Older two loved infants were indifferent to juniors and like the social side of secondary but given the choice would rather stay at home.

DD1 loved infants. In fact I remember her crying because I wouldn't let her go to school the first half term holiday. She was probably least keen on the top end of juniors.
DD2 has had patches both way all the way up.
Ds had hated school since the get go and would always choose not to go. Primary or Secondary, it's just different boring stuff that he isn't interested in. I don't think changing schools would have made any difference.

I have one who likes school and two who hate it. I’d like to move the ones who hate it- because to me school should be at least mostly enjoyable!

I view my school years as a necessary drudge that I had to get through.

Primary school was sort of OK but secondary school was awful. I certainly wouldn't say that they were the best years of my life and wouldn't have appreciated anyone trying to tell me that.

I hated school but in hindsight it's because it was never geared to neurodivergent people like me. I'm now a cover teacher in a primary school and it seems like lots of children love it!

I absolutely hated kindy and preschool. Could not see the point being there. I loved learning but was very frustrated with it not moving as fast as I'd have liked. Luckily I went to a very small school and we had composite classes, so every second year I could learn the work from the year above. One of the things that made me cranky about preschool was the Yr 1s were getting to learn and i was expected to colour. Why? I wanted to learn. I could read before I went to school because I'm stubborn and did not want to wait for mum to read me a story when I wanted one now.

High school was marginally better but still not challenging. I do like learning though, so the variety of classes was at least good for thinking.

What @Crinkle77 said. My kids all feel the same. I think it might be an intovert thing, at least in part. At school there are just too many people for too long, and the day involves one long slog of having to do things in a way that accommodates that.

I think if you're a kid who's happy in their own company reading a book, school is very rarely appealing

@Styperbolic I disagree. I was a very shy child, introverted etc I loved learning and still do. I did not go to school socialise - that was one of the reasons I hated kindy and preschool.

I have one who hates it with a passion. And one who enjoys it. Although if you ask her what her favourite part of school is she will say break time! She's always looking forwards to going back to school in the holidays, not for school but to see her friends.

DS loves school but then a) he is fairly, so finds it easy b) we are relatively orderly at home so he is used to following rules. As a family DH and I have always been positive about school, both about our own experiences of it and presenting it to DS as a happy, fun thing when he started.

I do find it odd that I think primary school is a lovely place these days yet as a child i don't remember kids crying at the gate, but these days there are 3 or 4 every day from DS class making a real fuss. In most cases you can see that the parent dropping off is giving a lot of attention over it. Its noticeable the kids who are dropped by nannies, childminders etc are never the ones crying and refusing go in!

I hated school. Too noisy and too many people.

I loved it all three of my kids loved it. Hated secondarily tho.

That's really interesting @k1233

Maybe it's just that I (and my kids) hate being told what to do!

I loved primary and so do/did my DC.

I feel sad for your DH that he didn't.

I hope your DS flourishes at his new school. A friend's DS has recently changed schools after being very unhappy. He loves his new school and the difference in him is amazing, he's much happier.

Very few kids hate primary. Many may find some of the lessons boring, but to aactively hate the whole experience is rare.

I have no positive memories of primary school, I don't really have any memories at all of it tbh. I didn't hate it but I just got through it. I mostly tried to be left alone to read. Didn't really make any friends.

Secondary school was your usual mixture of highs and lows, it wasn't all smooth sailing but there were great memories and good friends. More to the point I felt actually alive, like I was becoming a real person. Primary school just felt like waiting for that to happen.

Both DD and DS loved primary school - they were both really engaged by the lessons. DD absolutely loathed moving away from her small supportive primary to secondary school - she has a visible physical disability though and kids that age are vile. We took her out in the end and she was happier at home. DS enjoys it more and he was ready for more challenging lessons, but he would still say he preferred primary.

Well I hated both.

In primary I remember wondering around the playground and asking if I could play, being told every time ‘it’s a three player game’ etc. That was the whole of infants, juniors was a bit better as I had one friend but then.

As for changing schools, absolutely - do it. The school I went to didn’t have time for dealing with social issues as there were so many other issues like kids showing violent behaviour etc.

My DD’s school has time for social issues and is completely different. She loves school.

Find a school where your child can thrive, they do exist. Good luck to you and your child.

I think it's a mixture. I have one child who liked primary school on the whole and another who disliked it.
As a teacher I very often get parents telling me how much their children love school (primary). But I also know school makes some children anxious and they'd rather be at home.
So I disagree with your dh that most children hate primary school, but would have agreed if he'd said some.

I cried my eyes out when I left primary but couldn't wait to leave secondary and have never missed it.
I absolutely loved primary school and have fond memories.

I’m one of 4 and we all loved primary.

I think it depends on the child but also very much depends on the school. My dd hated school and would start to cry on a Saturday evening thinking about going back. The school did nothing to support her so I moved her to a school with much better pastoral care and she is like a different child.

I hated both primary and secondary, but that was mostly cos they had the same kids at both, and I was bullied.

My child hated primary school but loved secondary school and actually cried when they left secondary.

I loved it, my sister hated it

My dc liked primary and secondary, and now that I work in a primary I can see the vast majority are very happy at school.

IME, the small number of children who really don’t like coming to school have parents who didn’t have a good experience of school themselves. Sometimes they start off with an attitude of mistrust or that school is pointless, and that rubs off on children by the time they’re halfway through reception. Sometimes parents aren’t supportive of their children's education for whatever reason so they don’t read with them at home or do anything else to encourage them. That leads to children falling behind their peers, making less progress, finding the work difficult and being able to see that they’re struggling compared to their peers, so it’s hardly surprising that they don’t like it.