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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to change childminders

19 replies

Nazz10 · 19/08/2022 14:33

So...

Current childminder is a family member's family member (from other side of their family).
She is lovely and we know her pretty well which is why we chose her to be our DS's childminder.
She's absolutely great with him and with the others. Takes them on trips out every single day without fail, whatever the weather. He loves her and loves going!

They have a book that should be filled out daily with what they've done for that day, what they've eaten, nappy changes, their mood, nap times etc etc. But she isn't filling it out everyday. And it's frustrating me a little bit because he's getting home and I have no idea when the last time he ate (or what he ate), how long he napped for etc.

AIBU? A part of me feels like I should just keep him there because I have no concerns over his welfare etc. But I hate not knowing what he has done for the day

OP posts:
IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 19/08/2022 14:36

What did she say when you asked her about why it hasn’t been filled in?

sunsoutmumsout · 19/08/2022 14:37

My eldest childminder filled it in for the first few months then the book mysteriously got lost

My twins I tend to just get a WhatsApp message and I'm happy with that

Eixample · 19/08/2022 14:41

I wouldn’t give up childcare you and your child are happy with for that. Just ask her about it. Perhaps she could send WhatsApps audios or something quicker for her.

Original poster
Nazz10 · 19/08/2022 14:42

@IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece I haven't said anything yet. She seemed to fill it in a lot of the time when he first started there so it's only been the last couple of weeks where it's really declined.
I'm not the best with words so don't want to come across in a negative way and it be awkward going forward

OP posts:
Deadringer · 19/08/2022 14:43

She sounds so lovely and he is very happy so I wouldn't change. Just ask the important stuff, time and length of nap and when/what he last ate. If you dint do the pick up text and ask.

Hillarious · 19/08/2022 14:47

Can you just ask what's been eaten and when nap times were when you do the pick up?

RedWingBoots · 19/08/2022 14:47

My CM filled in the book until my DD could talk consistently. My DD started talking early. After that I didn't always send the book with her.

Even when we did send the book in, the CM would speak to us without prompting if DD hadn't napped, decided not to eat something, etc.

My DD also goes to nursery and the nursery staff just tell you what your child has done through the day when you pick them up.

So why don't you just talk to the CM at pick up? If you continually ask those questions every time you pick your child up she may make a notes in the book again. Though remember when she is writing in the book she isn't interacting with your child and the other mindees.

Original poster
Nazz10 · 19/08/2022 14:50

@Deadringer that's a good suggestion. Thank you. When I pick him up we do have a chat about what he's done and how he's been so if she hasn't filled it in it's not really an issue but when DH picks him up he doesn't ask. So I think I'll do that. I suppose I feel like I'm 'pestering' if I ask when she's finished work and I know that she would say something if anything was concerning to her (not ate much etc)

OP posts:
JustLyra · 19/08/2022 14:50

Tbh good childminders are hard to find so picking your battles is important.

Is it possible to ask the food and sleep questions at pick up?

JustLyra · 19/08/2022 14:51

Nazz10 · 19/08/2022 14:50

@Deadringer that's a good suggestion. Thank you. When I pick him up we do have a chat about what he's done and how he's been so if she hasn't filled it in it's not really an issue but when DH picks him up he doesn't ask. So I think I'll do that. I suppose I feel like I'm 'pestering' if I ask when she's finished work and I know that she would say something if anything was concerning to her (not ate much etc)

Surely the answer is speaking to your DH and getting him to ask?

It would be madness to lose a good childminder because your DH can’t remember to ask two simple things?

Maryann1975 · 19/08/2022 14:51

Would you prefer your cm to be filling in the book or interacting with your dc? If she is looking after 3 or maybe 4 dc and is filling in each book, that’s a lot of time she is devoting to paperwork, which really isn’t required. In years gone by, ofsted would ask about things like daily diaries and expect them as a good example of parent/childminder communication, but there are far better ways imo. Can you ask about your dc day when you collect? Does she send photos of your dc via WhatsApp? I wouldn’t change a good childminder because you don’t know exactly what has gone on during the day though. A happy, settled child is far more important.

Original poster
Nazz10 · 19/08/2022 14:54

Yes you're right. It would be a shame to try and find another childminder because she is great with the kids.

It is possible for me to ask at pick ups at the moment because my hours at work have temporarily changed. So I am able to pick him up more but won't be long term. When my hours go back to normal I won't see her for drop offs or pick ups at all. I'll just talk to DH and explain that he needs to chat with her when he picks him up
Thanks all 😊 feel better now! 😂

OP posts:
PeanutButterOnToad · 19/08/2022 14:57

You are seriously thinking of changing childminders because she isn’t filling in “the book”? Good childminders are gold, I pity them having to deal with such precious ridiculous parents.

forrestgreen · 19/08/2022 15:03

When you get home and it isn't filled in, send her a text. "Hi x, can you tell me how he slept and ate today please?"

Tbh these do decline as ch settle in, parents trust you and as ch age it seems less vital. Especially if they're busy. But if it's important to you just ask.

Original poster
Nazz10 · 19/08/2022 15:03

@PeanutButterOnToad precious? Sorry for wanting to know what my son has done while I've not been there. Jesus. You sound like a joy to be around
This is my first child and my first time dealing with child minders. So when I'm told that the book is filled in everyday as her means of communication then I kind of expected that to be honest. But I could just not give a shit, would that be better?
Be helpful or scroll past

OP posts:
Rowen32 · 19/08/2022 15:22

I think I would find that so tedious to do, a voice note might be better but honestly once you know what he's eaten and his nap time/length I think it's enough.

Rowen32 · 19/08/2022 15:23

I mean, so tedious for me to do if I was doing the child minding - if she's excellent at her job I think I'd be telling her you'd like this information and what's the easiest way for her to give it to you..

Hankunamatata · 19/08/2022 15:25

Never had a book or anything when mine were at childminders. Childminder only said if they hadnt ate or slept well

GiltEdges · 19/08/2022 15:30

Nazz10 · 19/08/2022 15:03

@PeanutButterOnToad precious? Sorry for wanting to know what my son has done while I've not been there. Jesus. You sound like a joy to be around
This is my first child and my first time dealing with child minders. So when I'm told that the book is filled in everyday as her means of communication then I kind of expected that to be honest. But I could just not give a shit, would that be better?
Be helpful or scroll past

Well no… what would obviously be better would be for you to actually ask the childminder about it, rather than jumping straight to considering changing childminders. You know, like any logical person would do.

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