to find it a bit weird that I'm expected to be all cosy with these couples?

[Saveme]

Hi there, going to try to get to the point as quickly as possible.

A while ago I went out with a guy I'd been friends with. It lasted about 4 months, was no great love thing, and ended when I found out he cheated on me. There's no animosity there now, but I don't particularly want to be buddies with him.

Anyway, my current DP happens to be someone I also was friends with, from the same social circle. He was with his previous partner for about 4 years. Anyway, him and his x-partner were good friends with 2 other couples and they used to spend a LOT of time together the 6 of them. One of these couples happens to be my x-bf and his current partner.

My DP is basically now trying to arrange it so that we spend a lot of time with them, doing all the coupley things they used to do together.

I don't mind making an effort every now and then, not at all. But he seems to think we should spend every weekend socialising with them. I find it hard because:

1. It feels like he just expects me to take the place of his ex-partner

and

2. It's kind of awkward with the x-bfs new partner, because I can tell she doesn't really want to be around me. She's obviously one of those women who doesn't delight in meeting her partners exs, and who can blame her?

Thoughts please!

Yes I can see where you are coming from. Have you spoke to him about this? Have you other friends that you can socialise with. Suggest that it would be nice to do things on your own.

No, not unreasonable. Why do you have to do everything with this one group? I am positively allergic to very tight little circles of friends who do everything together and are mortally offended if you go to the pub with other people. It would all be far too claustrophobic for me. What about your other friends/groups of friends? Can you arrange social things with them so you don;t always have to be with your husband's social group?

Explain to your DP that you feel awkward and you are getting vibes from your X-P's girlfriend. Suggest you go out with your friends too and that you want to do other things as well as meeting up with your DP's friends