Meeting with friend- crying baby

[spinachmonster]

I really have no idea if IABU so any help appreciated!

We happen to have our annual camping holiday near where an old school friend currently lives. ( I would definitely consider her a close friend.) We live 4 hours drive apart so don't often meet up these days.

Last time we met up I had a young baby who screamed hysterically in the car, I suggested to my friend we limit time in the car due to this fact. Asking if she would meet where we were staying (40mins from her house) She said she already had planned the day (nice things) so let's do that. Baby cried hysterically, was very stressful for me and pretty sure unpleasant for her. Spoilt the day really.

This time I again have a new baby who unfortunately also screams in the car. I wrote a careful message explaining we have a new van which I haven't driven yet and again I'm really worried about baby screaming, could we meet where I'm staying for a walk and lunch please? She has responded with "I'll meet you half way."

I also have a 2 year old and older children who can stay with my partner but either he'd have to drive me there and pick me up later (40mins drive each time with other kids in the car) or I drive new van with possible/ likely screaming baby in back for first time. Part of me feels like saying no. It also disrupts the holiday a bit but I would like to see her. 😵‍💫

@Morechocmorechoc Yes, good point, I hadn't thought of it like that, but that's true. I did travel to her last time. Thanks for your reply.

@Shamoo Yeah that's a good idea, thanks. I'm less keen to meet now anyway really. 😕

Unfortunately not as she is suggesting we meet for the day and baby is small and EBF. Not possible or prepared to do that

Just be honest with your friend then and say it’s not going to work for you because clearly it isn’t.

This. It's not going to be a catch up with all your kids there and partner

I’ve had car screamers too…journeys planned at night to help etc. so I completely empathise! if you’ve not been there I don’t think you can understand the horrible stress it causes!
perhaps she is thinking the same as others said…you’ve done a four hour journey so why not? But perhaps mention you had to plan that meticulously to incorporate sleep/feeds and you’re exhausted and don’t want to have another journey with a screaming baby.
Or just say it’s not going to work this time, and hope to see you when baby has got used to car more.

@PixieLaLa Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Thanks 👍

@Hankunamatata

thanks for your reply, no it would be ok because my partner would have the older kids elsewhere while, me, friend and baby in sling (therefore usually happy and not screaming 🤪🤞) could have a nice walk and lunch.

@Bentley123 Thank you! And sorry to hear you experienced the same. I honestly feel in shock after sometimes as it's so horrible! Yes, it has taken a lot of planning - to drive at night, book hotel etc and I'm still really worried about the drive there. Anyway I hope you are past this stage now and maybe next year we will be too - 🥵 Thanks for your reply ❤️.

I'd say sorry it's not going to work on this occasion. Baby X can only do X minutes in the car at the moment. We'll have to catch up another time.

The person with the older children always offers to drive further in my circles for the baby's benefit.