Finances with DP

[poppy990]

Ive been with my partner for 4 years. We both have children with ex partners. He contributes to his children.

He pays me an amount every month and I pay the bills out of my account. Sometimes we end up transferring money backwards and forwards if one of us pays for something big.

He doesn’t like this situation but I don’t see any alternative as neither of us wants a joint account.

Anyone in same position? How do you deal with this?

What doesn't he like about this situation and why don't either of you want joint accounts?

He still pays his ex and the situation is quite complicated.
i enjoy the freedom of having my own account.
He feels it’s odd for a couple to be passing money back and forth.
im fine with it but he’s uncomfortable

What does he want, a joint account? Or for you to pay for everything?! Do you live together?

You could have a joint “bills” account. So you each keep your own individual accounts and then pay from the individual accounts into the “bills” account. If you want to buy a sofa then you pay from it with a credit card attached to the bills account and then both transfer extra money into the account to pay for the credit card.

Yes, as pp says, the solution is to have a joint account for certain specific expenses but keep the rest separate. Would that make him feel better?

You could have a joint account or credit card for big purchases

You could have a joint account for bills then both keep your personal accounts for personal expenses, child maintenance etc.

Both of you fund the joint account with an agreed amount to cover joint expenses, so bills, whatever other costs you've agreed to share and a little bit extra as a float. Pay for these big expenses from that account and if there isn't enough in there, both of you top up by the same amount/proportion extra.

You realise you can have your own separate accounts AND a joint account, right?

I’ve always had my salary paid into my account and then a joint account for household bills that both contribute to equally. There shouldn’t be any passing backwards and forwards really because everything should be covered plus maybe 10% wiggle room. Then nobody is borrowing or owes anybody any money

Just get a joint bills/ household expenses account

If you are in a serious relationship have a joint account for the bills