To expect a lie-in occasionally?

[sunshinecoffee]

My husband never, ever gets up with the children in the morning. He frequently sleeps until past 9am (it was later). I never do. I'm up several times a night between the baby, DD2 and sometimes DS5. He'll occasionally get up at night but never in the morning. I'm always up by 6:30.

How does he justify that?

Yes, unless his work hours means he doesn’t get to bed until late, you should be splitting the lie ins. Or you getting more as you’re up with the baby.

Have you asked?

LTB

YANBU

Why do you put up with this?

Has this been going on for 5 years? Tell him you've done your shift and the next 5 years are on him.

Yes, you should have a lie in every now and then. That's a smaller issue than who does night wakings and ordinary mornings - for example DH and I take it in turns to get up with kids (5.30/6am start) and make breakfast then the other one joins at 7/7.30 so we all eat together. Not exactly a lie in but not a super early start every day either.

Something tells me this isn't only limited to waking, does he cook, clean, do childcare, organise the house etc? Does he have a job?

How on Earth does he justify this?

What’s so special about him that he deserves a far better quality of life than you?

You have my sympathy. I had one that was like this. Couldn’t bear to just give me a lie in, where he quietly took the kids downstairs and then looked after then for a bit so I could sleep in occasionally.

The only thing he would do (occasionally) is insist I got up to so he could get himself ready and dressed in peace have me stage managing getting the kids ready later, and then go out so that I could go back to sleep. I didn’t want that. I wanted a nice joined up lie in and then be able to enjoy a day out together, feeling refreshed, not miss out on all the fun after doing the drudgy big.

I think YABU to expect one only occasionally tbh.

You should be getting them regularly, if there's not about to be a massive drip feed.

Tell him there is no version of life where it's going to continue that way. You're up through the night while he sleeps and your day starts 3 hours earlier than his. He has to either help you in the morning or you have set days that he does the 6:30 start.

How on earth have you put up with this? I'd be so angry if my DH was like that. It's selfish. Unless he works late shifts or something you should expect to have regular lie ins.

I tend to do a lot better than DH with limited sleep so almost always get up first but feel able to ask if I want to stay in. I don’t think it needs to be 50/50 as depends on how it impacts everyone’s mood and rest of day but seems odd not to share at all

are you a much lighter sleeper? I am, so if I want DH to get up I will need to wake him