To be tired of the needless drama

[Ithinkitsenoughnow]

My mother has a history of getting drunk and injuring herself. This happened again recently. Usually I help her out a lot/make a fuss but this time I have been up to my neck with 3 children and my newborn has a medical issue that has come to light at the same time and caused us much stress and upset. So this time I haven’t been in touch (I was for the first few days but she went away for the weekend despite injury and then this situation with baby happened so she seemed fine/I was preoccupied). She has also not been in touch since then. I sent her a message asking for medical details that would have helped my baby, which she ignored. She has been continuously liking my social media posts so I messaged to let her know what’s happening with the baby/that we have been very busy and stressed. She has ignored that. My brother is now calling me “cruel” and saying he is “flabbergasted” by how I have treated her. DH and I are extremely confused by this.

AIBU to say she is a 60+ year old woman and if she needed my help she could have bloody well messaged or called. I see she is probably feeling sorry for herself and wants a fuss made but I have serious stuff happening in my life and need to take care of that. I certainly don’t think this response is warranted.

I feel quite sick and tired tbh of this sort of childish nonsense. It’s a pretty dysfunctional dynamic as is and I think I’ve just had enough and want to live my life without this sort of stupid drama.

She's an alcoholic and that is very much her problem, rather than yours. YANBU.

if you need urgent info, call rather than message. Tell your brother to butt out or help you get the info you need.

I hope your baby will be fine.

Thank you - it was not urgent and 5am so I texted but it was ignored/I managed to get the information another way it just took a bit of time!

Also I can’t help but feel it’s ironic that she is annoyed for lack of support (I assume - no one has actually told me what I’ve done that’s so “cruel”), but they are now aware about my baby’s problem and they haven’t said a word about it! Surely baby being unwell trumps yet another drunken accident?

Yup, your baby is so much more important. Your mother is an adult and is responsible for herself, and she also has your brother to help her. Your priorities are no longer with them. This might be the moment where you change the dynamic and distance yourself from them. They sound like a self-centred pair.

@sonjadog

Thank you - that’s what I think. I just wanted to check im not being unreasonable as their reaction to basically nothing has really surprised me. They have form for being like this but never so bizarrely and with such little provocation. I think the fact neither of them have even asked after the baby is probably the deciding factor here

Thanks for this too