What would you think if your new colleague said this?

[brendda]

Smalltalk with new colleague (a manager) touched on how having children changes you, and they say: "Oh yeah! I really didn't understand about kids before I had one - I remember when one of my team member's children was taken to hospital, and they asked to go home I said "Why do you need to go? Your wife's there!" but now I totally get it!".
Would you think:
1."Ha, ha! Yes, we've all been there!", or,

1. "Blimey, you really said that? What a git!"

1= YABU,
2= YANBU.

I think imagining the sort of love you might feel for your child is unfathomable if you don’t have any. I’d appreciate that they were being open and candid about a time they were a bit of an insensitive tit in the past and have since learned where they were wrong through experience.

Huh? What’s the aibu?

Yeah it’s not a great attitude but they now recognise that and have changed their opinion. Surely growth is a good thing.

Really don’t get the issue. I wouldn’t look for fault with a new manager from the very start.

I'd be a bit worried that they had no empathy for a situation unless they'd experienced it themselves. What if an employee needed to leave urgently because an elderly parent had taken ill? Would this manager say no because they hadn't personally had to deal with that and didn't realise how urgent it could be?

I think he or she should have kept it buttoned. However, I'm not sure both parents are needed and certainly if there are more than two children it's far better that one parent takes over to look after the well child and one does the hospital duty.

They were just being open with you about a realisation they gained when they finally had their own child. That’s so obvious from the conversation you had.

Well they've owned up and realised they were a bit of a dick before. I definitely wouldn't hold it against them, in fact i think it shows good character that they can admit they've made mistakes. A lot of people seem to find it impossible.

Most of us have parents and have the experience of our love for them and worrying about them, whether we’ve experienced a medical emergency involving them of not.

It’s a bit like automatically expecting a man (or a woman with easy periods) to understand why somebody with very bad periods might need to take time off work with the pain and bleeding: many people in the workplace still look askance at the idea and assume it’s a bit of a skive.

1, unless it was a life threatening reason then maybe 2.

Equally, I've taken both mine to hospital with minor injuries (uncomplicated fractures) and wouldn't have expected my husband to come home from work, so totally dependent on the reason.

Mixture between 1 and 2 , seems like they've now understood the error of their ways but I'd be wary they can only empathise if they've been through a situation themselves. I have a family member like this and quite frankly they are a tit but to be fair I doubt they've ever reflected on their behaviour so the fact that your manager has is hopefully a more positive sign!

I’d think closer to 2.
I find it odd that someone needs to have a child to understand that a parent would want to be with their child if that had been hospitalised. Maybe I’d understand someone being less sympathetic to another type of issue such as childcare.

let's hope they're a different person now OP.
I voted git but it could have been aaaages ago when attitudes were different, or something minor, but either way if an employee asks a good manager shd try and accommodate or be discreet.

But imo your colleague revealed they perhaps only make kind, wise decisions once they've experienced something themselves and are therefore potentially a bit limited and unimaginative.

Sounds like he was laughing at himself. That’s okay. Shows humility.

I would think they clearly have no scope to think of a life and feelings other than their own

Depends if it was a broken toe or a broken arm, surely?