Wearing noise cancelling headphones around the house

[Noisyhouses]

The noise in the house from DS, DD and DH has been driving me mad over the last few weeks. I wfh and they are off school and work so spend the day watching TV or on various devices.

I have an area to work so there's no issue during working hours. During non working hours the kids have the TV or mobile devices on and DH insists on walking around the house with his phone loudly blasting out the talk radio station he listens too. The combination of all the noise has got too much and I've started wearing noise cancelling headphones to maintain my sanity.

The kids put their headphones on when I ask (unless they are watching the TV) but DH refuses to wear headphones and won't switch off his talking radio station even if I'm trying to talk to him. I have suggested that he may need to get his ears tested as it is really loud, but he just laughs and says that I have sensitive hearing.

Today DH was complaining about how I'm always 'locked away in my room working' or wearing headphones and never talk to him.

your DH sounds incredibly inconsiderate and selfish. I'd shout that in both his ears.

What kind of adult who lives with other people walks around with their phone blaring out all the time

He sounds like a selfish knob.I don't think I could live with anyone so immature

I get that he wants to listen to his radio shows, but why does he insist that everyone else must also listen to them, regardless of their objections?

Have you discussed different types of headphones he could try?

I really feel for you, OP, and I'd be shutting myself away too!

I have tried the polite 'please can you turn that down or put on some headphones' around once a day, but he just laughs and says I have sensitive hearing and jokes to the kids that 'mummy can't handle noise'. Although the kids have started to say things like 'oh dad's listening to his silly talk radio program again'

Specific headphone suggestions and continuously repeating the fact that not everyone wants to listen to his talk radio show might be something to keep repeating everytime it happens.

My dad is similar to this and would play his records in the house and would quite often do very disconcerting loud claps at bits he really enjoyed. Would never turn it down, never wear headphones. It caused so many arguments. He felt this was a superior source of entertainment to tv or internet therefore it should be allowed. We were all ignorant unsophisticated heathens for not enjoying it. 🙄 He can be an inconsiderate entitled sod at times and yr DH sounds the same.

The solution was he built a bar in the garden and listens to his music up there. My mom jokes it saved their marriage and to be honest I think it did.

My ex husband did similar but the solution there was I left him (for a lot of reasons not just that).

No helpful advice op just sympathy x

I've started doing exactly the same when I'm wfh. For some reason, my DH and DS cannot accept that when I'm wfh... I'M FUCKING WORKING!!!

So now I lock myself in a room OR I put noise cancelling ear plugs in / headphones with an audiobook playing, because they just will not leave me alone.

I'm ignorant if I lock myself away/wear headphones, or I'm a snappy cow when I get fed up of being constantly interrupted and dragged away from my work. But it's perfectly fine for both of them to spend hour upon hour with headphones on leisurely glued to gaming or tv. Not even working or studying, just playing.

YANBU. Fuck em!

@Punkypinky that sounds like a really good option at the moment! X

Wfh is so tricky isn't it, its almost as if people think wfh means that you are not actually carrying out a full day's work, or even more than a full day's work sometimes!

You need to be blunt and tell him you're wearing headphones and keeping away from him because he's selfish and irritating with his radio thing on loudspeaker.

My husband does this too! But he does turn it off when I ask him too. It's so annoying as we both wfh but he has an office, so I'll be at dining table and he'll come by to use the loo or kitchen and have radio 2 on even if I'm sat listening to something when he comes in! He uses bone conducting head phones for running, these allow him to still hear cars or talking over the music, so I've suggested he used these when in the house, so we can talk while he still can hear his music.

A grown man walking around his house blasting out the radio is either a complete anti social loon or is trying to make a statement about you working.

A lot of men really envy their wives' success. Don't be surprised if he ramps up his 'poor little me, look at what I have to do for attention' act.

I nearly got them also as building work going on nearby and waking me soo early and non stop all day and they are breaking rocks so that deep machine hammering noise that drives me insane. Your husband is soo selfish, if he wants to listen to a radio show go in the garden or one of the rooms and put headphones on, I would not put up with that at all and him making snarky comments to get the kids to join in. Bet you have great peace with those headphones and must get a pair.

When it comes to career DH has already mentioned he wishes he went into my area and has mentioned multiple times how much more I earn than him.

This is a recent thing though where I have been lucky enough to get a promotion. I'm still paying back money from when I was on maternity leave and paying nursery fees. So while I'm lucky to be able to earn a good amount and not worry too much about paying bills (which I know some are), I'm far from rolling in money. DH has a lot more in savings and pension than I do at the moment.

So thanks for rasing the possibility, it's probably something I should discuss with him and make sure he's not directing his issue with me earning more than him into other things

hang on... are you saying you're paying nursery fees and he's not??

The nursery fees have stopped now as both DC have started school, but I had 9 months on statutory maternity for each child and then 12 months working 4 days which put me in debt as I was not earning anywhere near enough to cover the bills at the time.

The bills have been a 50/50 split since day 0, but once I started earning more a couple of years ago, I started paying a higher percentage of childcare, holidays, and other family costs sich as entertainment, but the debt repayments still take a decent chunk of my salary.

I do the school pickups now which saves money, but I am responsible for booking and paying for any other childcare and then asking for the money back either from our joint account or asking DH. I was OK with this until DH mentioned he had been putting away a decent amount each month as he was spending alot less money because he didn't have to pay for childcare when I'd been struggling to make ends meet.

I guess doing a full breakdown of bills and insisting on a 50/50 or more even split until I have my head above water would be best. I hope the behaviour isn't because he has an issue with me earning more because it's been pretty unpleasant living like this and it took a lot of stress and hard work to get a promotion.

I think you need to reevaluate your contributions, he is taking the piss!