To ask for help with alleviating my guilty conscience

[Damnyouconscience]

Went to Morrisons daily with my 10 month old to pick up a couple of bits. An Asian lady (relevant) stopped me and asked me if I was Asian- I am. I said yes, she asked me in Urdu if I’d mind taking her to Currys to get a picture developed. I panicked, said I didn’t know where it was. She told me (about 2.5 miles away in the city centre) and I said I had to pick up my older son. She asked if I could do it after. I panicked again, agreed and said I’d be back in about 20 minutes, to which she said ‘okay I’ll stand here and wait’. Went to pick up my older DS, spoke to DH and MIL who gave me all sorts of bad scenarios that could possibly happen and I didn’t go back. That was an hour ago.

I know, I’m an awful person and I can’t help but think she’s still stood there waiting for me and she has no other family she could ask and I did something horrible. I KNOW I shouldn’t have said I’d come back but I did and I feel so so very guilty.

please mumsnetters, tell me she isn’t still waiting for me and that she’ll go home and ask someone else and hasn’t given me another thought. I want to go back and check if she’s there but DH has had a medical procedure and can’t look after both kids so I’d need to take them with me or drop them at MILs. I feel awful 😪

You have nothing to feel guilty about. At best she was a CF. At worst, well I dread to think.

Probably a scam. Dont worry about it.

One part of me thinks ‘what if she’s told someone to meet us at curry’s and I get robbed’ and the other part thinks ‘she’s a lady asking for a lift, what’s the worst that could happen’

Who in their right mind asks a stranger for a lift to get a photo developed, much less hangs around for 20 minutes waiting for them? For a photo? Nah, doesn’t add up.

I’d have said, “No can do, I haven’t got time. Good luck finding someone who can help.”

Do you struggle to assert yourself in general or was it just the persistence of this particular woman?
Have to say her pushiness would just have annoyed me and it would only lead to a firmer no.

Not sure where you are based but in my neck of the woods you'd never ask this of someone or agree to doing this for someone.

It's madness. You don't give strangers lifts!!

@pictish a bit of both. Partly because we were speaking Urdu and I can’t speak it very well and had no idea how to say ‘sorry I can’t, I’m busy’ and partly because in our culture we’re told that elders are very important, so the fact that I wasn’t expecting it mixed with feeling like I had to say yes meant I ended up saying yes.

I agree, I need to learn to say no. Preferably in Urdu as well as English.

I wouldn't give a random a lift. I'd give them a taxi number though.

You did nothing wrong.

I would not spend that level of time, get involved with or have in my car a total stranger. And I'm Indian, totally get the whole respect your elders thing and I'd still not have done it.

I find it odd that she was so adamant for you to take her and that she offered to wait an hour.

At best I would have given her directions and left her to it.

And you had your baby with you! You most definitely didn't do anything wrong.

You absolutely did the right thing.

For what it's worth, my local Morrisons seems to attract chancers ... never at Tesco, Aldi or Sainsbury's.

thank you all. I think it’s more bothering me because had I said no, at least I’d been clear. But I said yes so I feel like she’s still stood there waiting. Irrational, I know!

Since when did curry's print photos? None of the ones by me do.

Normally there's a photo/print section in one of the bigger supermarkets or boots often have a machine you can use!

I think you have dodged something iffy there OP, don't feel guilty at all.

This sounds dodgy and I think you did the right thing not going back.