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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think C section is the best birth option?

285 replies

LilacSky95 · 17/08/2022 16:46

I've had 3 vaginal births and 1 c section. The recovery from the vaginal births was a breeze, but I've been left with a host of issues from those that will last a lifetime.

My c section recovery was harder, but after the initial pain etc were off I was ok, and it was so nice to be intact 'down there' afterwards.

AIBU to think surely it's better to risk any of the problems that can arrise from having a section, over all the awful things that women often have to deal with for a lifetime after vaginal birth?

Yes I know c section is major surgery, but loads of women end up needing surgery to correct the damage done by vaginal birth too, and even then will never be the same again. At least your problems that come with a c section will be sorted out at least 12 months after delivery, and tour vagina is unscathed.

I've already had one lot of surgery to try and fix my prolapses, and will need more surgery in the future. I cant help feel jaded that if I'd had c sections I wouldn't have to go through all of this so maybe my views are skewed. What do you think?

OP posts:
CheeseyToasts · 18/08/2022 13:31

YANBU

They're long term the best option for the majority of women.

In countries where they split EMCS and ELCS out the outcomes for women who have ELCS are often better than those who give birth vaginally.

Original poster
LilacSky95 · 18/08/2022 13:32

So as always on MN it’s ‘my way is the best and you’re all stupid to do it you’re way’.

sorry but I'm yet to see on this thread anyone imply that anyone else is stupid for their birth choices? Have I missed something?

OP posts:
Cazelet2022 · 18/08/2022 13:38

I’ve had two vaginal births. Both babies around 9lb. First was induction due to being overdue, forceps and episiotomy. Not a great ‘birth experience’ but with the benefit of time I am now simply grateful I had a healthy baby and I made a good recovery.

My second vaginal birth was quick and uncomplicated. I don’t say this to anyone because I worry it sounds boastful but as you asked it was without a doubt the most amazing and empowering experience of my life. I felt like superwoman.

As I said, I don’t tell anyone that in real life as I think birth is pretty much 100% luck.

Original poster
LilacSky95 · 18/08/2022 13:41

@Cazelet2022 I think it's amazing you had such a positive experience, and I think you should definitely not hold back from telling people that! Yes it's luck, but it shows that it is possible 😊

OP posts:
eastegg · 18/08/2022 13:43

ShirleyPhallus · 17/08/2022 17:02

I think it depends on what the issues are from a vaginal birth as to what’s safer for the mum. Statistically I believe a vaginal birth is the safest option for the baby and better for lungs etc.

In order, I think it would go:


  1. healthy, straightforward vaginal birth with easy recovery

  2. elective section

  3. emergency section

  4. complicated vaginal birth with complications ie forceps / 3rd degree tear

The tear scale goes up to 4th degree btw.

ancientgran · 18/08/2022 13:44

Blossomtoes · 18/08/2022 13:23

Wow, you lucky bugger @ancientgran! I’ve never heard of that before. Mother Nature’s wonderful sometimes.

I think they definitely found the G spot. Made me laugh watching Gray's Anatomy when the obstetrician reckoned an orgasm was good pain relief but I think she was expecting women to be a bit more proactive about it.

Mangogogogo · 18/08/2022 13:47

Why does it always have to be a competition?
csection is better for some women
vb is better for some
neither is flat out better for everyone!

i personally had no issues birthing vaginally and my bits are intact and exactly the same as before births. Walking around looking after the other kids in hours.
my friend had a c section, had complications, had to be out under GA, in hospital for 2 weeks and could barely move for 2 months.
it’s just luck of the draw. If she hadn’t have had an emergency C-section her baby wouldn’t be here and all that matters is he’s healthy

Original poster
LilacSky95 · 18/08/2022 13:47

@ancientgran so did you actually have an orgasm? Or just waves of pleasure? I thought orgasmic birth was a myth 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
LilacSky95 · 18/08/2022 13:49

Out of curiosity did anyone here regret their ELCS? I've heard women say they regret their EMCS and VB, but never their ELCS?

OP posts:
Confusion101 · 18/08/2022 13:51

@Cazelet2022 My second vaginal birth was quick and uncomplicated. I don’t say this to anyone because I worry it sounds boastful but as you asked it was without a doubt the most amazing and empowering experience of my life. I felt like superwoman.

This really bothers me that this is the general consensus. I had a child recently and was only told about horrendous birth experiences, everyone who had a positive one stayed quiet. I was terrified and frustrated with the thoughts of Labour. I had a quick, uncomplicated labour (vaginal, really didn't want a section for my own personal reasons) I find people borderline begrudging because my birth was OK! It's so strange!

OP ultimately as is proven here everyone's birth experience is different and nobody can make that decision for you but yourself, but agree with everyone who has said I don't think "the best birth" is a thing as these things rarely seem to go to plan! Best of Luck!

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 18/08/2022 13:52

I really think women should have the option, and should be trusted to weigh the risks themselves. But to do that HCPs would have to start trusting women which I think at the moment is a pipe dream sadly.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 18/08/2022 13:53

LilacSky95 · 18/08/2022 13:47

@ancientgran so did you actually have an orgasm? Or just waves of pleasure? I thought orgasmic birth was a myth 🤣

I had one but it wasn’t quite the same when you also take into consideration that my area felt like it was gonna explode

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 18/08/2022 13:54

*arse

CheeseyToasts · 18/08/2022 13:54

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 18/08/2022 13:52

I really think women should have the option, and should be trusted to weigh the risks themselves. But to do that HCPs would have to start trusting women which I think at the moment is a pipe dream sadly.

Women do have the option...

Did you miss that elective C sections are a thing and have been for years?

Hobele · 18/08/2022 13:54

I'm with you, OP, I wish I had a choice at the time.

CheeseyToasts · 18/08/2022 13:55

LilacSky95 · 18/08/2022 13:49

Out of curiosity did anyone here regret their ELCS? I've heard women say they regret their EMCS and VB, but never their ELCS?

I've never met anyone who regretted their ELCS

I've met plenty of women with ruined bits who regretted not asking for one though

Ringmaster27 · 18/08/2022 13:58

Personally? A csection is my worst nightmare. Obviously if I had no choice, and it was my only option for both myself and baby to make it through unscathed, then sure - do whatever you have to.
But I’m a very “hands off” birther. I chose home birth for DCs 2 and 3, and made it very clear that the midwives were there as an emergency measure only, and I wanted to be left alone to get on with it. No examinations, no monitoring etc.
I got lucky with my births though - all 3 were textbook, uterus contracts, cervix dilates, body expels foetus 🤷🏻‍♀️ No complications. My view might be different if I’d had difficult births.

Original poster
LilacSky95 · 18/08/2022 13:58

Yes me too @CheeseyToasts !!! Myself included!

OP posts:
OceanbreezeSun · 18/08/2022 13:58

My mum gave birth to all 6 of us vb, uncomplicated deliveries, no issues with things down there long term. She was out of the hospital the same day each time, except with my sister (dc no 1)

Back in my mums day, she had the same midwife all the way through and she was present for each birth, they became really good friends. I think this one on one care made alot of difference. My mum appreciates she was lucky. I think she’s superwoman! My older sister drove herself and dc home 6 hours after her Vb!

This thread really highlights mixed experiences I think. Some great vb with no ill effects, some traumatic ones with long term effects, the same for c- sections, whether they were elective or emergency. There are pros and cons for each and really, it comes down to the individual.

LidFlipper · 18/08/2022 14:05

LilacSky95 · 18/08/2022 13:49

Out of curiosity did anyone here regret their ELCS? I've heard women say they regret their EMCS and VB, but never their ELCS?

Yes 100% but I didn’t want the section anyway, I had to have one.

wimbler · 18/08/2022 14:06

I had my first via ELCS as she was breech. I then went on to have a VBAC with my second. my vbac was textbook but with some tearing. He was a lot bigger than we were expecting him to be and came very very quickly. If I was to ever have a 3rd I'll be going down the ELCS for certain. for me whilst the ELCS recovery was tough, the vbac recovery was harder - physically and mentally. I think because I was so adamant about having a vbac, when I found the recovery hard (I was in a lot of pain for 3 weeks vs 5 days with my elcs) I was upset as I felt I had inflicted this pain on myself. It's hard to explain properly

ShepherdMoons · 18/08/2022 14:06

My vb were traumatic and I've had complications since. The CS was worse at the time but I have been better 'down there' so I would agree with you in terms of my own experience.

Having said this I hear friends tell me their vbs were a 'breeze' and have had absolutely no issues whatsoever. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to choose based on what you feel is best for your body? By that I mean that many women know their state of health and how they could cope with either option.

The worse bit of all my births was the dreadful postnatal care. I think criminals were treated better, awful awful. Meanwhile I was being told by my MIL how wonderful it must be to be able to 'rest' in the hospital after the birth. I couldn't sleep for the pain (no meds), lack of staff to help, expected to lift a 9lb baby after c section the night before and carry the baby down corridors for milk (couldn't bf due to anaemia). Awful.

Dogtooth · 18/08/2022 14:08

I preferred VB to CS because of shorter recovery time. VB is also better for the baby's immune system.

firef1y · 18/08/2022 14:11

6 nvds here and between the 6 deliveries the total of 3 stitches (which was with my first). With my youngest I was doing the school run a couple of hours after giving birth (at home), the only baby that needed any help was a preemie and would have needed help if I'd had a C section too.
I can't imagine how long recovery would have taken if I'd have had a major operation. And I know.of plenty of women who have issues years (and decades) after having a c section as well as the immediate infection risks.

mummyh2016 · 18/08/2022 14:12

WellThatsMeScrewed · 18/08/2022 12:22

So for all the posts of women saying I loved my c-section those who say actually my vaginal birth was not that bad nor was the recovery we are apparently ‘not informed of the risks’.

You can argue that this is not a scare mongering thread but a lot of you are being very anti vaginal birth. So as always on MN it’s ‘my way is the best and you’re all stupid to do it you’re way’.

👏🏻
According to some of these posts those of us that went for a VB are clueless Hmm