Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ignore this person?

7 replies

LilacFrost · 17/08/2022 15:44

We used to go out as a three sometimes (I’m female and the other two are male (M) and female (F)and knew each other through work). It was very obvious he likes her, unsure about her liking him. Both are in long term relationships.

I see F a lot just the two of us and we’re good friends, been away together etc. I think she would sometimes tell M we were meeting and he’d invite himself. Usually when it was just for a coffee or walk in the park during covid.

To be honest it was a good laugh but I knew I was the buffer or cover up as I’m sure his girlfriend wouldn’t have liked him meeting F on their own, especially because he’s cheated in the past.

M invited us both to his birthday and I ended up cancelling and then F cancelled based on the fact that I wasn’t going. This was a year ago. He never acknowledged my message cancelling and apologising about this but he acknowledged her message.

Now a year later he’s messaged me asking how I am.

I should just get mug tattooed right or I don’t ignore it?

OP posts:
GeekyThings · 17/08/2022 15:46

I don't understand, what about this would make you a mug? It's a text asking how you are, do you think he has an ulterior motive, or something?

Ponoka7 · 17/08/2022 15:50

You haven't been used as a mug, he just wasn't a very good friend. If there's no friendship between you then ignore him.

LilacFrost · 17/08/2022 15:52

GeekyThings · 17/08/2022 15:46

I don't understand, what about this would make you a mug? It's a text asking how you are, do you think he has an ulterior motive, or something?

Yes. We’ve had no contact for a year.

And I feel he’s likely doing it now as he wants to see our mutual friend. As without me there I don’t think they would meet up.

OP posts:
GeekyThings · 17/08/2022 16:01

LilacFrost · 17/08/2022 15:52

Yes. We’ve had no contact for a year.

And I feel he’s likely doing it now as he wants to see our mutual friend. As without me there I don’t think they would meet up.

Ah, ok - well, it's up to you what you do obviously, but you'd only be a mug if you fell for it. Although, as you said in your OP, you all did have fun out together, so would meeting up again really make you a mug? It's not your job to police what either of them get up to, so if you'd have fun together then who cares?

10HailMarys · 17/08/2022 16:05

This all sounds unnecessarily angsty. If you don't like someone or think they're a shit friend, YANBU to ignore them. But YABU to be fretting over who 'likes' who as if you're a bunch of 14-year-olds. Life really doesn't have to be this complicated.

LilacFrost · 17/08/2022 16:30

10HailMarys · 17/08/2022 16:05

This all sounds unnecessarily angsty. If you don't like someone or think they're a shit friend, YANBU to ignore them. But YABU to be fretting over who 'likes' who as if you're a bunch of 14-year-olds. Life really doesn't have to be this complicated.

Where did I say I was fretting over anyone liking someone? What an odd comment to make.

OP posts:
Ducksinthebath · 17/08/2022 16:34

LilacFrost · 17/08/2022 16:30

Where did I say I was fretting over anyone liking someone? What an odd comment to make.

It does all sound a bit playground to be honest. Especially he acknowledged her message cancelling but not your message. Well obviously if he likes her as more than friends he's going to go the extra mile for her.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page