My five year old son's father is notoriously difficult. He was a bully and abusive throughout our relationship and since. He will never negotiate or be involved in any discussions about arrangements. His stock answer is to tell me what he is going to do and then tell me that if I come to his house to retrieve our son, he will phone the police. Our relationship is full of threats which he uses to get his own way. We have a court order in place but summer holidays are not set out in the court order other than shared equally by agreement.
He has taken our son abroad for the first time for two weeks - this is the longest he's been away from he. He sent me a message telling me that he would keep him for an additional week and return him on 2nd September. I replied saying this needs to be agreed and I'm not happy with not seeing him for close to three weeks. I told him that it's something that needs to be discussed and agreed not unilaterally dictated. He kept refusing. I said if he won't discuss things, I will come to collect our son at the airport and we can discuss arrangements for the remainder of the holidays over the phone. He obviously made threats about that and it's infuriating that he tries to maintain control this way.
I'm furious that he behaves this way then turns it back on me like I'm completely unreasonable and acting irrationally. By not collecting him, I'm playing into what he wants, which is scaring me to get his own way. But by the same token, if I turn up, he will accuse me of being deliberately inflammatory and provocative even though I'm a quiet, shy person whose never started an argument in front of our son.
What would you do?