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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what the last 5 years has done to your mental health?

164 replies

Wouldloveanother · 16/08/2022 20:18

Mines ruined to be honest.

I feel like a lot of my naivety about life has been stripped away and I’ve been left with a feeling of exhaustion and dread. My life is basically unrecognisable since March 2020.

I thought I would be ‘over it now’ but I’m not.

not looking for anything in particular, just a solidarity moan.

OP posts:
herewego9 · 16/08/2022 20:26

Yanbu. I have never suffered from depression in my lift and nowadays I'm mostly always the verge of tears. I don't look forward to anything and everything is an effort. I am utterly exhausted with it.

preservesandreserves · 16/08/2022 20:27

same
I feel exactly the same.
I can't believe I used to tryst our government and I can't believe I used to believe we were one of those lucky countries that put the people first.

Spending all that money on dodgy ppe deals.
watching my husband, my father's children go to work when the prime minister was on the telly saying its not safe to go outside... that was scary and I realised we looked like the people in the photos in history books.

I always, always thought if shit hit the fan I'd be able to deal with it. I never thought I'd put my husband in harms way (that's what I thought we were doing at the time) for something as ridiculous as money but off he went.

I have never felt so unprepared for something in my life.
I absolutely understand why my grandparents have cupboards full and then a massive pantry full of everything.

I didn't help anyone either. I got really selfish which was surprising.

Now Russia has invaded Ukraine and something about China or Japan (I am not too sure I only get snippets of news from here. I can't care to read news properly) I just feel sick. it's not normal.
Shopping is costing loads, bills are too and we are barely in and have nothing on.

I want to run away.

i haven't missed people though, I love my family but I could never see my friends again and be okay I think. I didn't miss anything like that.

MayISuggestSomeThickCutSteakChipsToGoWithThat · 16/08/2022 20:31

Destroyed it. 5 miscarriages from 2017-2021

winniesanderson · 16/08/2022 20:34

Similar to be honest. I'm not depressed as such, but constantly tired and just want to be left alone. Don't feel that I have anything to look forward to - can't summon up the enthusiasm. Don't want to socialise. Feel like I'm coasting.

AnotherEmma · 16/08/2022 20:35

Wouldloveanother · 16/08/2022 20:18

Mines ruined to be honest.

I feel like a lot of my naivety about life has been stripped away and I’ve been left with a feeling of exhaustion and dread. My life is basically unrecognisable since March 2020.

I thought I would be ‘over it now’ but I’m not.

not looking for anything in particular, just a solidarity moan.

Is there a typo somewhere? March 2020 wasn't 5 years ago. Sorry to be pedantic but I'm wondering whether you're just referring to covid (in which case it's the last 2.5 years) or other things too?
For me, the beginning of everything going to shit was the Brexit referendum in summer 2016, so 6 years ago, and both Brexit and covid have fucked life up considerably. Personally, too, I've gone from 0 to 2 children during the same period, which has enhanced my life in many ways but also made it much harder and has impacted my mental health. All those factors (but mainly covid and motherhood - whether situational or hormonal, or both) mean that I am now taking sertraline. I've had mental health issues in the past but everything feels harder to cope with now, somehow.

PollyRockets · 16/08/2022 20:36

Nothing

Am thriving, COVID held a lot of opportunities for me career wise so if anything, it was a blessing in disguise

Crankley · 16/08/2022 20:37

Nothing, life continues as before.

Original poster
Wouldloveanother · 16/08/2022 20:37

I put last 5 years because I agree it sort of ‘started’ with Brexit but for me the first lockdown was the turning point and not in a good way

OP posts:
SquirrelSoShiny · 16/08/2022 20:38

I feel like my mental health is worse now than before, partly due to perimenopause but also because I can see how different I am from pre-covid.

Annabananna1 · 16/08/2022 20:38

I'm very concerned about the cost of living and we are slipping from comfortable to not comfortable / struggling.

Life has not returned to pre covid for us. We are financially worse off and living a lower quality of life.

AnyFucker · 16/08/2022 20:40

Not good.

AnotherEmma · 16/08/2022 20:40

Wouldloveanother · 16/08/2022 20:37

I put last 5 years because I agree it sort of ‘started’ with Brexit but for me the first lockdown was the turning point and not in a good way

Ah OK.
I also think that austerity is a factor, in combination with Brexit and covid, it's an absolute disaster.
Sad

dizzydizzydizzy · 16/08/2022 20:41

I'm with you OP. My mental health is in tatters, mainly due to covid.

tigerbread20 · 16/08/2022 20:45

I was a student nurse, in my early twenties thrown in to working in Covid ICU for 18 months. I saw so many people die every single day it became my new normal, and the my DM died very suddenly, followed shortly by having to resuscitate my newborn DC. I felt doomed and like it was my fault everyone around my was dying.

I’d say my mental health has changed forever, not for the better and I’d never previously suffered from anxiety and now I’m on pretty hefty doses of drugs.

Casarossa · 16/08/2022 20:45

Destroyed.
It all began with PND in late 2019.

Nordstrom · 16/08/2022 20:47

I can really empathise with what you've written, it expresses how I've felt too. It's been the last 5 years for me also.

For me it all started with a surprise baby and it was around the time of some really awful stuff happening close to home (Manchester bombing, Grenfell...) Then came MH issues, family stuff and of course covid. It's as though I was suddenly wrenched from my naive and 'safe' view of my world, and there is no way to go back to not seeing life in this new light.

chatterbug22 · 16/08/2022 20:47

Also empathise. The world is so different now.

A580Hojas · 16/08/2022 20:50

I was ok until the energy price rises. Am very worried in a way I haven't ever been before and we are not a low income family so we won't freeze or starve but will have to cut back in all other directions. I'm worried about society in general and what it will do to the state of the nation. All the "luxury" businesses like hospitality and travel will be decimated (as in the pandemic, but now without furlough) and people will be out on the streets - quite rightly so. It's going to get very ugly, the pandemic will feel like a walk in the park.

GCBookseller · 16/08/2022 20:53

2015 for me … utterly fucked ever since. I function part of the time only through large quantities of medication 💊

BearGryllsDad · 16/08/2022 20:55

My mental health is probably better. I didn't buy into government scare tactics. I questioned them from the start. Worked throughout but from home and continue to do so which works much better for our family. Took up jogging during the pandemic and ran a 10k. Continued to prioritise family and exercise. I think we are in for a bumpy ride economy wise now though. I predict we will need to stock up on store cupboard food as things may get knarly. The government has gaslighted us repeatedly and I hope no one votes Conservative next election.

I am worried about climate change though. And the impact on my children and their children.

notanothertakeaway · 16/08/2022 20:57

I've mostly been doing ok. Lots of things feel a bit broken at the moment, but I do believe it won't be like this for ever

My parents are very cautious about money, probably a hangover from 1950's rationing. Having lived through Covid, I'm a lot more sympathetic to that. I see some signs of health anxiety in my DC, and can imagine it having a long term impact on them

Don't get me started on Brexit. But even that will settle eventually

AgentJohnson · 16/08/2022 21:03

Personally, I feel better about myself and life in general. COVID has afforded me the luxury of focusing on what is more important by enforcing a break from the relentless ness of my 60 hour week.

pastaandpesto · 16/08/2022 21:05

I see some signs of health anxiety in my DC, and can imagine it having a long term impact on them

Sorry to hear this. I'm seeing the same. In naively thought we were one of the fortunate families to come through covid relatively unscathed, but I'm beginning to realise its subtlely affected the DCs in ways I hadn't seen that the time. Set against the backdrop of the economy tanking, culture wars, global instability and the relentless march of climate change I feel quite gloomy in a way that I've never done before really.

MuggleMe · 16/08/2022 21:08

I'm much better now, but 4 years ago my DH had a full breakdown and was nearly sectioned, when he recovered it was my turn and I've been on anti depressants since.

2020 was horrific with a job that couldn't be furloughed and 2 young kids to look after and educate, one with undiagnosed dyslexia and possible ASD and impossible to homeschool.

But since 2022, a better work life balance, weight loss and a happier healthier DH, things are looking up.

EcoCustard · 16/08/2022 21:10

i can empathise OP. Had a tough time late 2017 with pna/pond and an unexpected dc4 in 2019 was just getting back on an even keel in march 2020 when it all went to shit. A much needed holiday cancelled, new business went to pot, no support. My part time ou degree deferred due to home life in chaos, homeschooling and no preschool or nursery. A termination in Autumn 2020 due to pregnancy despite Dh’s vasectomy in 2017, questions of my fidelity from every healthcare worker encountered. DH’s business struggles which neared collapse in lockdown 1 and his mental health with it has been difficult at times along with the impact on my Dc (albeit young Dc). Trying to get on with life and move forward but always seems to be a spanner in the works, childcare setting closing etc and struggling to find motivation or any point in bothering. I lurch from anger to despondency. Preparing myself and family for a tough few years ahead and a feeling that life is going to be different from what many are used too. Always been more a positive person but feel it’s been robbed from me. Feel irritated by friends, acquaintances & family naivety around all that’s gone on and is ongoing.