why do people think second hand is manky?

[WhereAreMyAirpods]

Why do people think second hand things are manky/dirty/unsafe? Have just read a comment on another thread about second hand jewellery not being safe because it's dirty.

Really? Are there really lots of people out there who think just because something has been in someone else's house for a while, it's unclean? Do these people not own washing machines or have a bottle of soapy liquid to clean things with?

Where my family is second hand shops are proper popular. That's btw where some of the good (but not the best) merch gets sold to. Central European second hand shops so mums can proudly show us their newest find of perfect Dorothy perkins coat for 3 quid😁 (yeah, that was few years ago😂). Hand me downs for kids are super popular because baby cloths are procey usually.
One thing most people do buy new are white goods in a hope they will last long and second hand usually not being that much cheaper.
My windbreaker from when I was 6 is like a family heirloom now😂

I used to work with someone who was exactly like that. She was horrified at the thought someone else might have used the bath. 🤷‍♀️

@Lily073 , I just accept that we are all covered in trillions of bacteria, inside and out, and that they are an essential part of our immune system and general health.

In recent years I've bought second hand a double bed and mattress (advertised as used in guest room only and the mattress was immaculate) chests of drawers x 2, coffee table, filing cabinet, office chair x 2, garden chairs, small book case, and rescued 2 small side tables out of skips. Probably saved our family at least £2000 in the process. Our 1960s teak dining table and chairs are inherited. The only new furniture we have in our house are 2 x sofa, our warren evans bed, a wooden bed frame I bought in 1987 (has obvs had several new mattresses over the years), 2 x Ikea kitchen stools, built in wardrobes and white goods. Oh and a book case I bought in the mid 1990s.

How did she cope getting a bus, or taxi?
Other bums would have sat in those seats.

I've often wondered this. For instance I have had my third child dd2, eldest is dd1 and then in the middle is ds. I haven't bought many clothes for dd2 as she is wearing all of her sister's baby clothes and some of her brother's. I see no issue and they are good quality clothes that have washed well. If I do buy her clothes it tends to be stuff that is season appropriate, she was a big baby and born in Autumn whereas her sister was a tiny baby born in Spring consequently she wasn't in small sizes very long. My mum would rather buy her new clothes but cheap brands that don't wash well whereas I prefer to let her wear her sister's better quality (not necessarily expensive although some are) clothes.

On the whole I don't like posts that begin with ..
"Back in my day..." but in this case , it applies.

In the 60s/70s/80s , during the Jurassic Park era of instant communication, we had jumble sales.
Generally, only poor people went to jumble sales . I hated them but needs must. Much of the jumble was very used, smelly, stained and was what most people, today , would send to a rag bank , a clothes bank or to the council.

Anything worth wearing again, today, is put on eBay or Vinted.

I'm just wondering if this 'manky' thought harks back to those days by people of my age ( nudging 60.)

I've had some bargains second hand, including a Panasonic bread maker. People not cleaning or washing stuff they donate are gross. Probably the same people who sell things on Facebook stating, "needs a clean" or "could do with a wash". I wouldn't dream of selling or donating something that was dirty. Same as when selling bric a brac and furniture on eBay I always show any damage, however minor, in the photos.

Why don’t you step outside your little privileged bubbles for a minute?

I won’t have anything second hand in my home. It doesn’t matter if it’s from a charity shop, a boot fair or from someone I know (even if their home is spotless). The thought of it makes my flesh crawl. And that’s not because I’m an idiot. It’s because I grew up in abject fucking poverty. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, was new. Not furniture, not clothes, not cups or plates, nothing. And it wasn’t always nice new either. A lot of the time it was fourth, fifth and sixth hand.

So any of you who buy second hand because you love a bargain or because you’re worried about the environment, but you could afford new if you didn’t fancy the second hand version, then good for you. But don’t you dare sit in judgement over me, making ridiculous comments about posh fucking jewellery, and how stupid we are because we don’t realise how many people have touched our new stuff, and asking whether we don’t have soap or washing machines etc, because some of us can’t bear the thought of having someone else’s cast offs. I very much doubt the Queen had to wear someone else’s ratty old knickers.

So some of you might think I’m an idiot. But it’s very easy to be scornful of the long term effects of poverty when you’re just visiting and have other options.

That is very understandable @TheLionTheWitchAndTheChesterDraws. Those comments were more aimed at people who turn their nose up at good quality clothes and furniture for no reason. If you grew up with soiled secondhand clothes, for example, that's a completely different story. It fully makes sense if you felt embarrassed by these things growing up🤷‍♀️

@countrygirl99
i know one like this - quite happy to use a hotel bathroom though 😭

But how does anyone know there is no good reason? Very few of my friends and none of my colleagues know how I grew up. I wouldn’t tell them about flea infested rugs or bedbugs or permanently stained clothing. I’m quite sure some of them think I’m a snobby, spendthrift idiot because I feel uncomfortable even going into a charity shop.

There are a lot of privileged based assumptions on this thread.

I don't blame you, that stuff it private, you don't want to have to drudge it up to justify yourself. I have my quirks like you about household things.

I'm definitely against the wider consumerism we have though, and these days, there's lots of good secondhand stuff around so I'd definitely recommend in general.

There are lots of people who grew up in actual poverty, never had anything new but don't have the same reaction. That's not about privilege, it's about personal reaction to personal life issues

@TheLionTheWitchAndTheChesterDraws

Like another poster up thread I remember jumble sales. Vintage often feels like posh jumble to me.

Exchanging mini Boden between friends is one thing - buying bundles off ebay quite another.

Almost all my cars have been 12-18 months old when purchased. Let some other mug swallow the depreciation I say, for a tin box on wheels.

If nobody bought new stuff, there'd be no second hand stuff though. I am perfectly happy to nobly provide for the used market.

Probably a cultural thing and some people might feel lesser due to it (childhoods where that was all they had... not saying that theres anything to feel embarrassed about).
I'm just grateful my grandma taught me about the value of second hand items. I'm a beast at finding then now

Well of course it’s about personal reactions! 🙄 I’m painfully aware of the fact it’s an irrational response thanks. And I’m not talking to the people who grew up in poverty but are still happy to grab a bargain when they can. I’m talking to the people who would never buy second hand underwear or towels or shoes or beds, but who look down their noses at me because I don’t want anything second hand. That is privilege. And I’m talking to the people who are calling others idiots and laughing at how stupid they are when they have fuck all idea of why a person might have an aversion to used stuff.

@RosesAndHellebores unfortunately it wasn’t the stuff that was donated to the jumble. It was the old crap that never would have sold. Definitely no Boden 😉

Well I didn't say your reaction to second hand is wrong or irrational. It's your personal reaction that's all. I just don't think that it's some kind of priviledge to call some people being stupid about this. Because some absolutely are.

@Bubblebubblebah But that’s my point. How do you know they’re being stupid rather than having a visceral reaction to something they perceive as ‘manky’?

Got some perfect condition Laura Ashley curtains on Facebook marketplace secondhand the other day. £85 new, got them for a tenner!

I get loads of toys secondhand too for DC. Give em a wipe over with some Dettol if dirty or just a baby wipe if relatively clean.

Also bought DC's winter coat for £1.50 (a Tu one) from a charity shop, so that's one thing sorted for cheap!

In this economy many of us can't afford to consider the mankiness

I think because they are rich and have more money to spend so why bother to find second hand. My mother is rich and never buy secondhand anything before. Because of how i’m grew up in my household so i dont buy second hand either. I just assume second hand means someone doesn’t want it anymore so its must be not in the good conditions for me to wear or use it.

now i’m married and learnt a lot from my husband. I do buy secondhand Jewelery or designer handbags but still never buy secondhand clothes.

Because by going my life experience more people are stupid about things than anything else.

And my life experience has taught me that people are quick to leap to conclusions when they’re missing half the facts.

So far, nobody has read my reasons for not wanting second hand stuff and has commented that I’m an idiot for only wanting new. And I’m happy to explain my reasons because I don’t know who you are and you don’t know who I am. But if we’d been chatting over a cup of coffee, I wouldn’t have disclosed my reasons to you. I would have been far too ashamed and simply would have said that I’d rather go without (and I do go without until I’ve saved; I am a million miles from being rich) than have second hand. And you would have simply assumed that I was stupid. Or a snob. Or both.

This is what I have observed too.

The only people I know who refused out grown / no longer used things for their baby (from close relations or friends, not even charity shops or bought at sales or on-line) were the couple where she became pregnant early in their relationship / had no home / she wasn't working - people who actually had the least in life.

@TheLionTheWitchAndTheChesterDraws . You have no idea about other people's backgrounds either. Many of us grew up in the same way that you did. Many of us learned from that, that there is nothing wrong in wearing something pre-worn, or using furniture that someone has given you, and that is a very sensible way (or, in my case at least, the only way to manage on a tight budget. Then, as life has become more comfortable over the decades, you realise it just makes more sense to pay a fraction of the cost for the same thing.

I'm ok with second hand but it's such an effort to find decent things. I've posted about this in a bit of rage before ... but charity shops seem to have this new thing of arranging clothing by colour on rails all crammed in very closely together, rather than by size or type of garment.

This ^ give me the rage too. Fortunately where I live, there are plenty of charity shops so I am able to use those that display clothes sensibly.
To be fair, in the giant M&S near here, it is overwhelmingly difficult to think "I need a pair of work trousers so I can go to this rail" - they have multiple different 'areas' the trousers might be in and it is a nightmare trying to look through them all.

@TheLionTheWitchAndTheChesterDraws . You have no idea about other people's backgrounds either. Many of us grew up in the same way that you did. Many of us learned from that, that there is nothing wrong in wearing something pre-worn, or using furniture that someone has given you, and that is a very sensible way (or, in my case at least, the only way to manage on a tight budget. Then, as life has become more comfortable over the decades, you realise it just makes more sense to pay a fraction of the cost for the same thing.

FFS. Did you actually read what I wrote? The whole thing? Do you seriously think I believe that I’m the only Mumsnetter on a forum of thousands and thousands of users who grew up without a pot to pee in? I’m not making assumptions about anyone’s financial circumstances or their up bringing and I’m not judging you. Or anyone else who buys things second hand, irrespective of their financial circumstances. Crack on. How you spend your money is sod all to do with me. What I have got an issue with is people judging ME (and others who react the same way as me for the same reasons) and thinking that I’m stupid because I struggle to do the same thing. As I said earlier, it’s a personal reaction and one that I’m fully aware is not entirely rational. I may not have a degree but I understand the concept that buying second hand means that expensive items can be bought cheaply. That knowledge still doesn’t stop me from preferring to go without rather than have second hand stuff.