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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect more from LO's dad?

3 replies

ellie09 · 16/08/2022 15:13

We have been separated since LO was 2 and he is now 5. We originally planned to split as 50/50 as possible but to be fair its worked out more as 2 nights a week to his dads.

He pays me £90 a month. He has already been told by CSA to pay me £120 a month. He's constantly late paying. They gave him the arrangement himself option but he isn't complying. Its getting more difficult as the prices of everything sky rocket.

He lives with his mum and miraculously went from being broke to looking for a mortgage (while not paying me correctly)

He's had 3 girlfriends in our time apart and they always take first preference. For example, this weekend we arranged to go together to get LOs uniform for school so we can split the cost, however he has now decided he would rather take his new girlfriend to the airport and meet her mum. He said he would pay me half and to let him know, but I don't trust i will get it quickly, in the full amount or at all. He also didn't come last year due to going on a day out with his other girlfriend (an ex)

He is claiming its no big deal, that I make a fuss over nothing, that he does plenty for LO by doing activities with him etc but I've told him there's more to parenting than the fun stuff, and I seem to be the one stuck with all the serious grown up stuff. He says it was my decision ultimately to be a single mum, and yes it is up to me.

AIBU to expect more from him as a parent in the more serious stuff in our LOs life?

OP posts:
Creepymanonagoatfarm · 16/08/2022 15:19

If buying uniform is important to you op no wonder he bowed out...
Surely your 50 %time is better spent enjoying your dc without ex around?
Keep receipts.

Ask for half.
One chance only then go to Cms.

FlyingSaucerss · 16/08/2022 15:20

I don’t think it’s common to go uniform shopping With your ex so I do think yabu there, my ex pays no maintenance and doesn’t contribute to uniform and also doesn’t see our kids so could always be worse

Runningincircles · 16/08/2022 15:30

Price up the uniform either online or in store and ask him to send half the cost before you go.

Also, just ask CMS to set up direct payment. Even though you both have to pay for the service at least you will know that you will always get the correct amount on time. You will be better off in the end.

He is more likely to become worse at paying as time goes on.

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