Is it okay to just not want to be around your teens sometimes?!

[CanIbeAlonepls]

I'm with DSS today who's 14. He was supposed to be seeing a friend but got cancelled last min and I'm off work today so he's at home with me whilst DH is working.

My own son is in nursery today and I booked this sneaky day off to relax and chill but these things happen so wasn't bothered. I assumed he'd likely spend the day in his room mainly like he does most of the time.

Except he's literally been sat downstairs with me now for ages 😭 I just want some chill time, I want to watch my (inappropriate) TV show and lounge about on my day off and I really want him to just go upstairs for a bit.

WIBU to either tell him to go chill in his room for a bit?

I feel really awkward. Which I don't usually but I do this afternoon.

Ha my teens do this to me too... ignore me most of the time
Then as soon as I have a bit of time to relax there they are hanging about! Talking to me and interrupting my tv programme or what ever I'm doing.

It usually means they have something they really need to talk about or something has happened and they are feeling a bit lost and insecure and they don't know how to start the conversation.

I feel awful but it's so annoying.

Of course it's ok

I'd say there are some days where I don't want to be around mine at all

They can be so annoying

Can't really do much about it though so sucking it up has become a sport for me

My hermit dd 16 waits until I am having my last cuppa of the day - about 9/9.30 and starts chatting as if she has had drugs in her food....my head hurts. Much better when she is holed up in her room!!

Thanks. I ended up with about half an hour on my own 🤣 ugh maybe next time.

Our 14yo does this, he's a bloody hermit until DH & I want some alone time or to watch some unsuitable tv and then he wants to sit with us.
I don't mind but sometimes I do nicely say "please bugger off I want to watch something that's not for you"
I try not to do it too much but I'd rather tell him than get annoyed that i don't get any time to myself.

@Creepymanonagoatfarm I have one of these I am literally turning my lights out and getting in bed and she comes and sits on my bed and wants to start chatting. After being holed up in her room for the last 4 hours!

It usually means they have something they really need to talk about or something has happened

We've found this. They normally don't want to know us, but if either are "hovering" around, you can bet they need to tell you/ask something.

No Big Issue with dd - just spilling out 24 hours of conversation in one go!!

It usually means they have something they really need to talk about or something has happened

This

If you can spend half an hour with them, go for a walk or however they open up, they can get it off their chest.

Yanbu Lol!! I feel your pain and feel the inner conflict of really wanting to say "Rightio odd you go up to your room and let me have a couple hours to myself" but it's so hard to when you've been give them privilege of teenage company that is so rarely bestowed

I guess it's a slightly different dynamic to a DSS that you don't have round white as much too.

My teens seek me out anytime I say I just want to relax for a bit

They never seem to want to talk, order to hole up in their bedrooms and grunt at me - when Im saying let's go do something, come out with me, watch film or bake together, when I have lots of energy and time for them, "nah../ go away mum you're so annoying.. (eyeroll eyeroll)

When I'm knackered and just want to sit outside after work to chill for 40 mins, it's like I've set off a dog whistle that attracts teens!!

They also accidentally wake me up when I'm in bed asleep "oh thought you were awake but .., " (long discussion at me when I'm barely awake and it's midnight)

Sorry you missed your downtime OP

Kids have an amazing ability to detect an adult trying to relax.

Yes even the teenagers
I thought I'd get to make uninterrupted phone calls once they became school age but nope...

Can’t you just go out of the house, take a walk or something? Or go shopping? Swim?

No. Because I wanted to relax in my house!