Can't face going to work in the morning. What do I say??

[Frif]

TL;DR: I had an abortion 2 weeks ago at 17 weeks. I am severely struggling mentally and emotionally. I'm having suicidal thoughts, self-harming through binge eating, neglecting my hygiene and other self-care, extreme mood swings etc. Basically I am just not coping.

I have worked a grand total of 30 hours since the procedure but I need to ring in sick tomorrow. I don't want to let the team down but I can't face it. I just can't.

There are so many babies at my workplace and it's so hard to be there. 12 hours of smiling and being cheerful when all I want to do is cry and scream. But I haven't actually cried at all about it. When the tears start I have to stop them because I'm scared I won't stop.

I don't regret it, my head knows I made the right choice, but my heart is struggling to be at peace with the decision.

My boss knows about the abortion but I think she thinks I should be over it by now. I'm not. I can't go in tomorrow.

What do I say to her? I can send her a text in the next hour or so and she will see it in the morning which will give her 3-4 hours to find cover if she thinks it's needed.

I’m sorry you’re going through this.

I think you should be honest and say you’re having a mental health crisis and will be making an appt with the GP for some support today. And do it

You need to cry. It will stop eventually, but the longer you hold it in, the worse your mental health will get, so allow yourself to grieve. I don’t know what the physical point of tears is. But I’ve always assumed that they carry away some of the sadness in some way!

Let it out, get signed off work for a week or two. Get some counselling, get some medication.

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

i would try and stick to the truth - say you are struggling and are going to call the doctors first thing for some help.

i hope that you can find peace, take care

I sent the text saying I'm not well enough to come in tomorrow, that I am in a difficult place mentally and emotionally.

I've only been there 6 months, I don't want to be fired. I just can't face it.

Crying reduces stress hormones so you might feel better after a good cry. I'm so sorry you're struggling, it must be so hard.

Go to gp . Phone first thing tomorrow.
Get signed off for a month.
Seek counselling. Do t out pressure on yourself right now -
Do what you need to for self care .

If you were physically ill to the point of tears and neglecting hygiene, you wouldn’t think twice to ring in sick. Mental health is no different. Please look after yourself ❤️

I’ve been there OP - after an abortion (though at six weeks) I was fucking traumatised. I eventually got over it but not once did I cry. I got no support and I lost several part time jobs I had. Don’t regret losing those jobs (this was twenty years ago). But I very much remember those feelings.
be nice to yourself - get signed off. Stay in bed a bit longer. Cry, go for longer walks. Go to the cinema alone. Whatever it takes.

@Frif So sorry you are feeling this way.
It is probably quite normal to feel really low after a termination.}Friends definitely were affected emotionally when they had them.

Our mum {My stepmum} at a certain stage of our life went through a phase of uncontrollable weeping...Only years later did she say she had had a termination and was sterilised at the same time, hence the tears.
{Personally, dad should have had a vasectomy! {Grrr}

Despite having bio kids of her own, she felt grief and loss...No more babies.
For her, it was the right thing, she says so now, but we are only human.

I felt irrationally upset having my beloved young female dog sterilised last week, so she'd never have pups...and despite knowing it was the sensible thing to do on welfare grounds, it really got to me somehow.

Best wishes, hope you begin to feel less sad soon.

Can you get any counselling? There's a place near me that specialises in pregnancy related counselling, it's pay as you can. They were excellent (I had months off work after a termination)

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. Please phone the GP tomorrow morning, you need some support.

No advice but didn't want to read and run 💐💐💐
YANBU
No right minded person could ever think you are

How are you feeling this morning? I hope you have called the doctors and your boss has been supportive

i couldn't get a drs appointment. i dont know what to do.