I’ve known one of my closest friends for years now, since not long after high school
She has always been there for me and has supported me through some tough times. She’s having what seems to be an almost quarter life crisis. She still lives at home with her parents and wants to move out, is self employed but her business is very small and not very lucrative so she is looking for permanent employment. She had enquired about viewing a rental but that fell through this week and she has got to interview stage twice now with a good job offer and not been selected after the interview. I have tried to reassure her, given her anecdotes, said something better might be round the corner but she just doesn’t know it yet… but it’s the end of the world seemingly, and whenever I try to offer positivity she will just repeat that she’s a failure and should have never tried in the first place. I am finding the lack of resilience quite frustrating because we never really have much to talk about when we go out for coffee or anything, or if she’ll call me she becomes quite short if I try and stop her from self deprecating. I just don’t get it, in my mind I’m trying to be kind but she views it as ‘trying to argue with her’ or tell her she’s wrong and she says she is allowed to be upset and to behave how she wants because of that. It’s a bit wearing.
I want to continue to support her and do just think the job market is difficult atm. Also, everybody is looking to rent a house so it’s no surprise they’re snapped up quickly. Her business is still an achievement more than most and it takes a lot to run your own and keep on top of things. She’s stopped replying to me and I am concerned I’ve not been as empathetic as I could have been? I did sympathise that the situation was rubbishy but AIBU and have I been blunt? It just winds me up seeing her hate on herself!