To just want to be left the fuck alone.

[LeaveMeAloneeee]

I'm being a moody cow, I 100% accept it. I'm on my period which since our baby was born have been absolutely horrid.

It started today and I've got such bad craps all at the top of my legs and across my tummy. I'm tired, feeling sorry for myself and just want to chill out by myself.

Regardless I always try my absolute best to never take this out on anyone by being moody toward them. What I tend to do is just go a bit quiet and need a bit of space for a day or so until the worst is over, then I perk up.

Tonight I really just want to be alone. I don't want to have a conversation, I just watch to watch my show and sit down.

Anyway... DSS is here tonight (absolutely fine obviously!) And he and DH are watching a film in the living room. And DH won't just fucking let me be. I've obviously said hello and done a bit of general chatter but I've taken myself off into the dining room (have a little sofa in here) and have put my feet up with my headphones on to watch Netflix whilst they sit and watch a film (can see the dining room from the living room as it's joined)

DH keeps pestering me 'watch the film with us, talk to us, come spend time with us, snap out of it' blah blah blah. Just leave me ALONE. I just don't have the mental energy right now to chat, I just want some fucking space.

I can't go in my room because baby is asleep in there otherwise I would.

AIBU to expect DH to just accept I'm feeling not the best and leave me alone for a bit. Surely it's fine to just want some fucking space every now and then.

Men like this make me murderous. They always need a wickle help parwenting their own fucking children. Tell him to Just go and talk to your own fucking kids you lazy incompetent half wit. Take your time away OP, let him do the hard yards at least once a fucking month.

Why can’t you go to your bedroom because baby is asleep if you have headphones? Just thinking if your husband couldn’t see you from where he is, you would be more likely to get peace. He should just leave you alone though.

Also, if you continue to have bad periods, do consider seeing your GP, don’t suffer in silence like so many women do. 💐

Stath has a good point. He should be setting an example to his son how to show respect to a woman feeling unwell due to her period. Sadly, many men appear to be twats when it comes to this, probably because their own fathers were and their mothers just 'got on with it'.

I don’t understand why you can’t watch Netflix with headphones on in the same room as a sleeping baby. Not that you should have to, but you said you would if you could…

I would say oh I'm sorry I just feel awful tonight I'm going to head upstairs and either sit in the bath for 3 hours (only thing that gets rid of cramps for me) or go to my bed with my headphones in and some chocolate. I'd rather lie silently than have to make conversation.

My DH is a massive introvert and every 6 months or so needs a day to himself, I can tell when it's coming and he tries so hard to be as bright as he can with me and the kids but the only thing that works is if we clear out for the day. My mum says 'doesn't DH mind you having a night out and he's stuck in?' Haha no he requires it. Weirdly my 2 yo is the same...he stays in his bed for a while just chilling and not having to chat to his extroverted mother and brother.

@LeaveMeAloneeee
do you have an iPad Op ?
just say you are feeling really unwell and take yourself off for a nice shower and a Netflix session in bed with your iPad ?
sorry I know how you feel when you just need some time to feel comfy warm and be quiet
hope you feel better soon

YANBU but for people who don’t need alone time they really don’t understand and think that people want to be included.

The fact that your DSS is there then I would say I’m not feeling well so going to have an early night and watch a film, read a book, play on your phone etc in your bedroom.
If you’ve got headphones on I can’t see how it will disturb the baby.

Ohh the fucking male entitlement!!!

He sounds annoying.

Talk to him when you feel better. explain that you are actually Ill for these days and you need him to give you peace. If he needs to explain that to DSS he should do that.

If he does this next month explain the pain and clotting in some detail to the pair of them. That’ll stop him.

Have you seen the doc BTW,

Men have no idea what periods can do to us. Kick him in the balls every 20 minutes and then keep asking him to sit and chil with you 😏

How old is SS?

Do you think "SS, I have my period, it's a bad one, so I just want to rest in peace for a little while. Your dad will explain. Enjoy the movie!" would work?

Oh I had that it does my head in so I put a stop to it. His child is there to see him. He needs to grow up you've got too much on your own plate to help him with his right now.

Not a bad shout

Yes yes yes all of this!!!

He's being a twat and a really poor example to his son!

He sounds totally annoying and needy, regardless of periods, feeling unwell or anything else ... if you want to be alone ... you should be alone.

I spend a lot of time alone, DH and I have separate bedrooms, in fact he's gone away for a few days holiday on his own .. it's bliss for both of us ... I couldn't tolerate someone expecting me to sit in a sofa with them to watch a film I had no interest in.

I watched a period cramps reconstruction, I think Canadian, where they hooked people up to a machine. The cramps were graded in severity from 1 to 10. By the time it got to 7 many of the men were sweating and saying they couldn't cope, whilst the women at the same level were shrugging and saying yes, this is the intensity they get each month. This was just the cramps, the machines wasn't simulating the bloating or migraines. Thank goodness my dh had sisters, so understood very well what "time of the month" really meant. I couldn't imagine being badgered to be fun step mum when in pain.

Your DH is one of those weird people who can't be alone. Ugh.

My DH and I both like to be quite solitary. Our DS is autistic and I wouldn't surprise me if we both are too. We both just know when the other needs to be alone and let them get on with it.

People like your DH are suffocating quite frankly.

Perhaps spend the entire film talking to them both about periods. Like how heavy your flow is. They'll both be glad for the company I'm sure.

Exactly what @Stath said.

For that he deserves a slap round the head with a mouldy cucumber!

Showing empathy and caring for a woman/girl who’s struggling in pain with her periods is a vital lesson fathers need to teach their sons.

Absolutely.

Strange, that in 2022 it's still such a taboo subject...

Great news about Scotland though!

tell DH exactly as it is. Tell him where your bleeding from and how you want to be left alone to deal with pain!

I could probably be in a room with your DH for maybe two minutes before I punched him. Not because I’ve got my period or anything, just because he sounds like the worst kind of needy, clingy, selfish cunt in the world.

Regardless of whether you have your period or are unwell or exhausted or just want two hours of peace and fucking quiet, YANBU. How dare he tell you to “Snap out of it” just because his son (who almost certainly doesn’t care if you watch the film or not anyway) is there? What the fuck is wrong with this man that he can’t let his wife be in another room for an evening?

Does he ever let you just do your own thing? Doesn’t he even give a shit that you’re in pain?

He has to parent his child all on his own if he leaves you alone, poor wee thing. I would be hissing at him.

I always need time alone before I get my period as just feel like need my space also. Our dog keeps following me though at that time of the month. Explain to him again and tell him to tell dss that you are unwell and nothing to do with him. That would drive me insane, is he usually soo needy. Everyone needs time out for themselves.

Pestering like that would have got very short shrift from me.

My DH wouldn't have reacted like that. He was a horrified witness to my heavy, flooding, bloodbath periods on several occasions. He left me alone when I wanted it and the approaches he did make were to a) try to encourage me to get medical help for them and b) offer me an often much needed cup of tea.

Your DH is being a twat. It is something we have absolutely no control over. "Snap out of it" is just such a self absorbed, ignorant and ill-informed comment. I agree with the poster suggesting you should explain to him in detail about the heavy bleeding and large clots. Force him to listen to that. Even show him some if you can face that!! He'll soon turn tail and scarper, the stupid clown.