to ask visitors to wait a while

[fifibella]

i'm pg with 2nd, not due just yet. had first by em c section and had visitors just dropping in the day after i got home, was absolutely shattered and had baby blues for quite a while, (it wasn't my family dropping in it was dh's).

PIL had already seen dd at the hospital but they wanted to come round again with great in laws, dd was being passed around from pillar to post while i stood in corner just watching while photos were being taken of dd with everyone (except me).

would it be unreasonable to ask visitors including PIL to wait a while. i'm not talking about weeks just a few days or maybe a week. not sure if i will have to have c section again. PIL will no doubt be visiting the hospital.

One of the midwives in the hospital where dd1 was born told me that it isn't actually very good for the baby to be passed around and can interfere with bonding leading to a more fractious baby. Not sure if this is true.

I enjoyed visitors with both of mine but not too many at a time and not for very long- certainly no-one to stay. But there again I didn't have a c-section and can imagine that this makes a difference to your stamina when you have just had a baby.

YANBU .... I had a C section (unplanned) and I had terrible trouble with BF and the baby blues, we probably had three lots of visitors everyday for over 10 days and it got to us in the end!

I could understand that everyone wanted to see our daughter as we had waited 4 years for her and had 3 x IVF. BUT in hindsight we should have said no to visitors (apart from the in laws and my M&D) for the first week, I think I could have BF easier if I could have devoted the time to her instead of smiling and make stupid chit chat!!

My midwife told me off for letting her be passed around so much, she said it makes them sore as they are so tiny and fragile?

Oh and listen to this, my BIL and SIL turned up three days after I came out of hospital, and expected ME to make them a sandwich as they hadn't had lunch, I nearly self combusted on the spot!!

Do whats best for you and your family.

Good Luck

we said no to visitors for 2 weeks! was bliss.

thanks for all your replies, i was thinking maybe a week would be long enough but reading some of the replies i'm now considering 2 weeks.

with dd1 we got home from hospital about 7.30 pm and relatives were knocking on the door at midday the following day so MIL would have phoned all her relatives to let them know, which is fine but you would at least think people would phone or text to see if it was ok to visit and not just turn up. plus we have a dog who barks when anyone comes to the door (he's only doing his job) so then that used to wake dd up.

also MIL and great MIL play one another off against each other and i have first hand experience of how much trouble MIL can cause. they both said some very hurtful things to me shortly after dd1 was born, they are so tactless. i will be ready for them this time. don't have any of these problems from my relatives.

my mil held a party so all her family and friends could see and hold ds1. Meanwhile, there was nowhere for me to sit (post cs, too), I had to try not to scream when he was passed to dh's grandmothers both in their late 80s and very frail and weak, seeing his head wobble around.
Then what really jarred me off was being banished to an empty room to breastfeed him, as it was thought distasteful by mil to do it infront of all the visitors.
never again!