Visiting godparents (me) - AIBU??

[Mystifiedgodfather]

My partner and I don't have kids. What are reasonable expectations for us to have about how our godson (6) and his sister (2) behaviour at our house? TBH we are a bit reeling from the noise, mess (including damage to sofas, car etc) and general experience but I was just wondering what we should expect and how to be a reasonable party in this??

What kind of damage do you mean? Little kids can cause accidental damage, like dropped stuff on sofa or if a two-year-old is left unattended with access to pens or something. My DD accidentally broke a lamp at my mum's as she stumbled into a little table. These things do happen.

It's hard to say whether you are being unreasonable or not without more details.

More info required tbh

Dropped food and (pretty extensive) stains, dirty shoes all over things and just generally leaving everywhere dirty and sticky - so less the damage itself and more should I expect / be OK with the house being left like a tip or do people tend to tidy up after themselves or make the kids make less mess?

If I had small children to visit I'd expect to clear up after them, but maybe I'm only saying that as a parent who has to do that anyway.

At the very least I'd try to put away as many breakable objects as possible.

I would get the shoes off in the house. My own kids or visitors have never worn shoes indoors or climbed on the sofas. I would not be impressed

It depends, little people can make a whirlwind of mess very quickly. Especially when loose with food that stains.

Personally if I was visited a friend who’s own children weren’t running about I would make sure my little person stayed sat at the table with their food and not rub it all over the sofa.

Were they there with their parents or were you in charge? Definitely have a no shoes rule, have a pack of wipes handy or just tell them to go wash their hands. Some kids make a lot more mess than others when they eat, if they were there with parents I would have expected that the parent would help wipe up after them.

Do you having a dining table? If not and the sofa is the only place for them to sit to eat then I don't think you can complain if they spill food on the sofa. Small children are messy eaters, that's just a fact. Especially at 2. If you do have a dining table then mention to the parents that all food needs to be eaten at the table to minimise mess.

Shoes - you should have asked them to remove their shoes when they arrived. Tbh the parents probably should have done this but if they don't just prompt. Were the parents there the whole time or were you looking after the kids? If the parents weren't there then supervision is on you

My visiting friends have always supervised their small children. I chip in for specific dos/donts that are particular to my household that my friends might not be aware of (mainly pets and hidden dangers).

I also take the view that if I'm not happy about something (and parent hasn't spotted or addressed) I say so there and then, either by telling the child directly or asking the parent to intervene.

I'm not bothered by accidents, I know stuff happens when kids are small.

Tidying up I figure is down to me, unless they are staying.

They need to sit down (at table or on floor} whenever they eat or drink, and have hands wiped immediately they have finished.

Set some rules in your house. Mine don't wear shoes in house and don't eat on sofas and never have

Your home, your rules.

Shoes off, eating and drinking only at table. No throwing things.

You should expect any six year old to behave. A two year old can be tricky. But it's your house and you decide that food is eaten in the kitchen only or whatever. If the parents are there too they should control their kids.
Have them wash their hands once they leave the table. Being godparents has no bearing.

Parents were there the whole time. So in general it's not unreasonable to set your own extra / additional rules for visiting kids and you would not be offended by it?

That's grim, I have had visiting godchildren of this age and their parents would never allow them to behave like this. The odd minor spill or breakage is to be expected, but the parents always apologised and cleared up any mess.

I don't have children but my experience has been that children adapt easily to different rules in different houses. They find it funny and or interesting.

I don't sweat the small stuff, I appreciate accidents happen. If anyone is offended by my reasonable expectations that's their problem.

Not at all. I'm happy for someone to ask my child to take their shoes off, or not climb on something - if I hadn't got there first of course!! I am quite hyper aware of my child, and me, being seen as rude so I make sure that she knows to respect other peoples things etc. doesn't mean she doesn't make a mess because of course she does, but I do always attempt to tidy up after her (with her help!) after a visit.

Allowing your child to damage or create significant mess in another person's home is not acceptable. As a parent, if it was accidental I would have rectifed but otherwise supervise carefully to ensure it didn't happen.
Your friends were out of order.