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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for your favourite age?

25 replies

lifeinmidthirties · 15/08/2022 14:55

It's my birthday tomorrow- I will be mid thirties. It's the first one I've felt a bit about!

Was listening to some of my fav music today that I lived as a teen and felt at the time I had so much ahead of me!

Right now, I've got a toddler, husband and lovely life which I feel very happy and lucky about.

But, I am tired, broke, getting wrinkles and grey hairs, finding it way harder to shift any weight gain and get a babysitter and know these things won't go away! AIBU to have a little wobble about being in my mid thirties and ask you for your favourite ages?

Would be good to hear that there are great times ahead to look forward to as well!

OP posts:

SparklingLime · 15/08/2022 14:55

HauntingScream · 15/08/2022 16:35

maranella · 15/08/2022 16:52

Early 40s for me. My late 30s I had little DC and was constantly tired!

LittleGreenBeetle · 15/08/2022 17:03

I did like my 30s. Young children, SAHM with a lot of local friends, husband working
locally so he was quite hands on with family.
I went back to work part-time just before I turned 39, as the oldest was in Year 6 and the younger one settled in Y3. Financially we are better off now I'm in my late 40s but I wouldn't say I am happier. I have less time and less sociability and ironically have more home responsibilities as husband not around so much and elderly dependents need more help / time.
Other than that, I loved being 17/18.

Tigerstigers · 15/08/2022 17:25

I'm 36 so may have not had my favourite age yet (hopefully!) But so far I'd say it was when I was 32-33 with my toddler and preschooler at home. I loved our long lazy mornings and busy afternoons at home together. I guess there was no routine as such and flexible to meet friends on an afternoon with no set time to get back for school runs etc. Now they're both at school, and I'm at work while they're there, it's just a constant rush around of getting everyone where they need to be, and then rushing around on an afternoon getting them to clubs, dinner sorted, homework done, and making sure bedtime is successful so they aren't too tired the next day. I really miss the carefree-ness of having toddlers. I don't miss the baby stage one bit. And life pre kids was pretty dull... just felt like I was constantly working from 18 onwards!

Original poster

lifeinmidthirties · 15/08/2022 20:00

Thanks for your replies guys.
Good to know that there's fun to be had yet!

OP posts:

Original poster

lifeinmidthirties · 15/08/2022 20:01

Though my absolute favourite time was 27/28 😭

OP posts:

MissAmbrosia · 15/08/2022 20:30

I really liked being 50 but would be quite happy to stop at that point. Self sufficient child, nice place in my career, good friends.

XingMing · 15/08/2022 20:40

I appreciate that this is vanilla, but I have loved most of my life. I enjoyed the fast pace of being early 20s in London without responsibilities. In 1980, I enjoyed getting on a fast track career from 1980 in New York. I didn't love living in London again between 1985-90 (because London was so terminally dull after NY and the public transport stopped at 12 midnight) but then I moved to Cornwall and freelanced, working stupid hours eight months of the year. And then at 43, I had DC and faced a completely different set of issues. At 66. most of the obvious crises would seem to be in the rear view mirror, but aging parents and young adult children can send you over a switchback very damned fast.

StarlingsInTheRoof · 15/08/2022 20:50

I loved being in my early 20's the most, but I am happier in myself now. It was great fun, suddenly earning disposable income, working and socialising with other young people, able to travel etc. But I was riddled with insecurity and made some poor life choices due to not feeling worthy. I am now fatter, wrinkling, going grey etc and so much happier about who I am. I also have more compassion and understanding for people's differences.

sundayvibeswig22 · 15/08/2022 20:51

Now probably, at age 39, though I have had a Few epic years where individual great things happened (working in NYC, gained my doctorate,trip to australia etc).

I have one dc (10), lovely husband, no financial worries, great job, long term friends and I've recently lost the weight I put on over lockdown so I now feel great. I'm looking forward to turning 40. At this age I've yet to experience caring for parents, death and/ or significant big life events, so I feel very lucky and want to make the most of it.

Paniniandsalad · 15/08/2022 20:56

All ages have there pros and cons and ut hugely depends on circumstances.

Personally I found the small children years very hard and tiring and felt I'd aged hugely. My are now older and I feel far more human again.

hotfroth · 15/08/2022 20:56

I always prefer it when my age is an even number, and I find being an odd number slightly unsettling. Weird, but true, and I have no idea why!

Original poster

lifeinmidthirties · 15/08/2022 21:04

Paniniandsalad · 15/08/2022 20:56

All ages have there pros and cons and ut hugely depends on circumstances.

Personally I found the small children years very hard and tiring and felt I'd aged hugely. My are now older and I feel far more human again.

This is reassuring to hear

OP posts:

XingMing · 15/08/2022 21:14

Until a year ago I would have agreed, but in my late 60s coping with a demented 93yo MIL, who I adored in her prime, is stealing time from the time that DH and I should be enjoying for a few years before we get too old to explore. My DM is hale.

Adversity · 15/08/2022 21:16

I loved 38 to 48 but then became seriously ill unfortunately.

Geranium1984 · 15/08/2022 21:16

Early/mid 20's was the best!

Pondz · 15/08/2022 21:27

This probably isn't helpful to you at all but 17-19 were my fave ages. I am about to turn 29 and always thought I would feel so worried or sad or something inside. At 20, the thought of one day being 30 was unfathomable for some reason and I dreaded the day. However now I don't mind at all! My mum said her 30s were the best years or her life, and she had 3 kids by then. I guess life is what you make it at any age? But also you're definitely not being unreasonable to be having a little wobble about this. Especially when you notice those changes in yourself, like wrinkles etc. But just think.. when you're 40 you'll be looking back at this age now thinking "oh I wish I was still in my mid 30s I looked so good what was I worrying about!" And then when you're 50 you'll do the same about being 40 etc etc haha

TheCutter · 15/08/2022 21:28

I loved 21-26. I was studying, had a study abroad year in Germany, travelled Spain for a 9 months, met my husband at 21 (still married today and I'm 33), made amazing friends who I still am friends with today, began my master, got married. Travelled with husband loads too, visited lots of countries. It was such a happy time.
Then I had a pretty rough time between 27-31: miscarriage, secondary infertility, family death, cancer scare for my mum. We finally had our DS through icsi when I was 31 and COVID hit, alone with a baby abroad, my family not allowed to come...very isolating.
I'm pregnant again now with my second, spent a lovely summer at home in the UK visiting everyone, and finally feeling like I'm seeing a little of my old self again. The happiness is returning.
Life is VERY different to my early 20s but it's nice feeling content and happy again.

TheCutter · 15/08/2022 21:29

I have to say as well, I'm looking forward to my late 30s / early 40s as I'm not a huge fan of having little kids. It's getting easier as DS gets older and I know I'll enjoy parenting even more when kids are older and I'm out the baby / not sleeping years 😅

totallyoutnumbered · 15/08/2022 21:30

I absolutely loved turning 40. 35 felt a bit odd for the same reasons as you actually x

TheLostNights · 15/08/2022 21:31

24 was a great age. Feel so old now that I am now in my late thirties. Would do anything to go back to that age

Insomniac2507 · 15/08/2022 21:33

I was an awkward teenager so not then! 24 was my most fun year. Single, going out every weekend, fancy city centre apartment, crazy holidays, lots of friends, disposable income. Saying that, I am probably more content in my 30s now I've met DH and have a stable family life.

SeasonsOfLife · 15/08/2022 21:39

30 was my best year!! (I'm 35 now)

December- February, it started off on a low. I actually had a wisdom tooth infection on my 30th birthday then Ofsted the day after at work. A few weeks later, had my wisdom out which was horrid. I was depressed as everyone around me was getting married and having babies and I was single. I also had to give up a rescue dog I'd reserved due to work.

But then, I found online dating and thought, why not. 6 months later, I met my now dh on Match and fell in love. It was a proper romance and I loved every second. 2 months into the relationship we decided we wanted to start a family and 2 months after that I was pregnant. We also moved in together and got engaged during that time.

So my 30th year went from a low to high. I started the year alone and depressed and ended it with my soul mate and a bubba on the way.

OrangeBananaFish · 15/08/2022 21:40

I'm hoping that my best age is coming. It feels like it might be.

So far my favourite ages were late teens/early 20's. I was earning money yet had little bills or responsibilities. Life was all about me (to an extent). Now I'm coming to mid 40's and starting to feel like I can start living my life again to some degree. My youngest is 10 so while I am still needed as a mother, I'm not as relied upon for the little day to day stuff.

From next year I have some exciting plans coming up. Things that I haven't been able to do since my mid 20's really. However, I'm not happy yet. I have made mistakes that have led me to a few things that I'm not pleased with. I do plan to change these. Just in the process of figuring things out, but once I have the plan is to live my best life.

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