No thank you received

[FlorianImogen]

I recently went to my friends birthday party, an evening bbq - the invite said bring a bottle. I took a present for her which cost around £35, and a bottle of champagne £36.

Am I wrong to expect a thank you for the present? I'm a bit miffed as I think it's only right to thank someone for a present. On the night presents we're just left on a table, presumably to be opened later!

I didn't even get a glass of champagne as I was driving and the food was pretty basic.

If it was bring a bottle type thing would she even know how expensive they were? I definitely wouldn't.

I'm astonished that people think it's not rude to accept a gift into your own two hands and not to say thank you for it?! Were you all dragged up?!

I would even consider it courteous to thank for the bottle of wine - I've literally never encountered a situation where I've given or received well, basically anything, without giving or receiving a thank you?!

And how is having an internal thought 'as bad as' someone taking a gift from you and not saying thank you? Give over.

(I don't think a thank you note is required if any other thank you is given, verbal, text whatever. I think if you are literally given a gift face to face then you should get a thank you even if you're not intending on opening it).

She should certainly have thanked you for the gift, it's really rude of her not to have acknowledged it at all.

What do you mean, "the food was pretty basic"? Are we talking Happy Shopper burgers, plastic cheese and no salad? Or was it normal, decent barbecue food?

Not a thank you for the bottle but yes a thank you for the gift.

Haha
Yes food just as you described!

I'm not bothered about the bottle.

“I'm astonished that people think it's not rude to accept a gift into your own two hands and not to say thank you for it?! Were you all dragged up?!

I would even consider it courteous to thank for the bottle of wine - I've literally never encountered a situation where I've given or received well, basically anything, without giving or receiving a thank you?!”

^This. People are so rude and ungrateful nowadays. No manners at all.

Call me old fashioned but I'm meticulous about thank yous and expect the same. A note, phone call or text takes no time. Recently I was given a lovely bouquet of flowers, thanked the person at the time, then sent a text a week or so later saying they still looked beautiful.

I have stopped sending money to a family members children due to a complete lack of thanks from the parents - and told them why.

You are right to be put out OP.

I did send Thank You's from our wedding but am so paranoid that people didn't get them for some reason and think I'm rude! I did consider whether a Thank You for the Thank You (or Thank You RSVP) would have been a useful invention, but where does it end?!

There were a couple of people we deliberately didn't send thank you's to though - those that came, ate all the paid for food and drank all the paid for drink, but didn't even have the courtesy to even give us a card... those "friends" are being reconsidered now...!

@FlorianImogen - as others have said, I'd have assumed to have taken a bottle that I would have been happy drinking myself and helped myself too, so if I was driving I may have taken a cheaper bottle of wine and soft drinks for myself. The lack of message for the actual gift is definitely rude though. I'd be PA and send a message to say "Just wanted to check you got my gift of X. It was such a busy party and I left it on the table and didn't get a chance to mention I'd left it".

I am so sorry, I missed the part about the pressie aswell!!! On here when I am meant to be working :) I thought you just brought a bottle of expensive stuff. Not thanking you for the gift is WAY out of order and extremely rude.

Do not give to receive.

I didn't receive any thanks for the last 2 wedding presents. One I could attend and one I couldn't but I don't see how that should matter!

There were a couple of people we deliberately didn't send thank you's to though - those that came, ate all the paid for food and drank all the paid for drink, but didn't even have the courtesy to even give us a card... those "friends" are being reconsidered now...!
Really? Over not getting a present or card? I find that very sad

Ps I find etiquette so skewed sometimes- things get mislaid, forgotten, mixed up, life happens- it doesn’t mean the person isn’t grateful.

I got shouted down on here when I mentioned being thanked. Some people appeared to think that expecting a thank you was 'giving a gift with strings attached.'
No it isn't. When I give a gift I expect to be thanked.

I would expect the present to be acknowledged, yes.