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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be hurt no one wanted to visit?

17 replies

Sinusitis · 15/08/2022 14:05

I’ve been in hospital for a week for what turned out to be very bad sinusitis (they suspected encephalitis at first).

AIBU to be hurt that none of my family showed any interest or desire to visit? My husband visited for about an hour each day max as he needed to be home with the children.

YABU: they’ve got their own lives to lead, don’t get upset by this.
YANBU: they should have at least offered to visit

OP posts:
RainOnMySkin · 15/08/2022 14:08

Your dh is a super star and do you really want lots of people sitting by your bedside for Sinisitus? I'd hate that! Did you get any supportive text messages? That would be much preferable to me. I also think that since Covid people try to stay away from hospitals as it's covid hotspot.

RainOnMySkin · 15/08/2022 14:08

Wishing you a quick recovery

Pottedpalm · 15/08/2022 14:10

Maybe they were not aware that visiting was possible? It was prohibited for a long time.

InBlue · 15/08/2022 14:12

Why is her husband a superstar? Am I missing something? For looking after his own kids?

Op - YANBU to feel hurt. If the situation was reversed would you visit your family members? If the answer is “yes, I’d bring them grapes and magazine and run errands” etc, then I’d start doing less of that sort of thing for them.

RainOnMySkin · 15/08/2022 14:14

For coming to hospital for an hour a day while working and doing the childcare. It's kind. I really don't like the idea of hospital visits unless it's very close family. I wouldn't even want my kids to visit, just dh so not to worry them.

Onlyforcake · 15/08/2022 14:15

To be honest I've got completely used to immediate next of kin in limited circumstances to visit for so long now. I wouldn't think to visit a hospital. I'd send a card or something though
I hope you're on the mend Flowers

Jules912 · 15/08/2022 14:16

I wanted to visit someone in hospital recently but the hospital still had very restricted visiting hours and only one visitor at a time that I just couldn't get to align around my working hours (not being local didn't help).

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 15/08/2022 14:18

I went to visit my DM in hospital recently, only two people were allowed to visit overall and then only one at a time could go in to see her. Maybe they didn't think they'd be allowed to?

Darkstar4855 · 15/08/2022 14:20

Did you ask them to visit?

Would they have been worried about covid risk?

SirChenjins · 15/08/2022 14:20

Are they allowed to? I know many hospitals are still limiting visitors.

focuspocus · 15/08/2022 14:26

I think everybody's different. I would hate having people to visit me in hospital if in for a week or less though maybe time feels like it passes much more slowly for you in there. I think if my stay was longer then I might feel differently but would only want people I'm quite close with. I'm not a social person normally though. As long as I've got the stuff that I need eg appropriate clothing, toiletries and something to keep me occupied I would be fine though so would appreciate any texts/ calls.

As my mum has dementia one of us was there as much as possible when she was in though that was restricted. I know my dad wouldn't want any fuss. He would probably complain if we texted him but would also probably be sad if we didn't.

If a friend was in hospital for a week or less I wouldn't think of visiting unless they didn't have family etc as I would see it as too much. I would probably only text so as not to disturb by ringing if resting etc.

My in-laws would have a conveyor belt of visitors and would feel that people didn't care if they didn't call or come. There would always be one person with them during visiting hours.

Hope you are recovering well.

CrystalCoco · 15/08/2022 14:26

How soon did your family find out it was sinusitis? If it was a family member of mine in hospital with this and I knew their DH was visiting daily then I probably wouldn't go either.

Encephalitis on the other hand may have seen you with a few more concerned visitors.

AuntieMarys · 15/08/2022 14:27

I wouldnt have visited either I'm afraid

BattenburgDonkey · 15/08/2022 14:30

Would they have normally visited you if you were at home? If not then YABU, hopefully they would have if you’d have asked them to because you needed something but other than that there’s no real need to visit on a one week trip into hospital. Hope you feel better soon tho OP

SpringRainbow · 15/08/2022 14:30

To be honest I had no idea some hospitals even allowed visitors again.

Did you let people know that the hospital allowed visitors and that you’d like some company if they are available?

ThickLizzy · 15/08/2022 14:43

Still not allowed here due to covid regulations, maybe they assumed they couldn’t come?

saraclara · 15/08/2022 14:46

Who did you want to visit you? I wouldn't expect anyone other than my partner or grown up kids to visit me, even outside Covid times.

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