Is this normal

[Whatca]

i work part time my partner is self employed and works days and nights. Have 2 Children under 7. Problem is my partner sometimes finishes work at night and just decides to go out for a drink with friends then doesn't come home till the next day and ignores his phone. This happens every time he has a drink so even if he went for a meal with friends or even to a funeral and he has a drink he stays out doesn't come back till the next morning and will ignore his phone. I've said many times i wont put up with it anymore he keeps saying he wont do it again. Ive honestly had enough i dont think im asking much ive told him to go out many times but just come in at a reasonable time and not ignore his phone.

This is not normal. Stop tolerating it. I suspect he's found somewhere else to sleep

I've said many times i wont put up with it anymore

But he knows you will as he keeps doing it and you are still putting up with it.

No, it’s not normal. Especially the staying out and ignoring the phone bit. Going for a drink, fair enough I suppose, plenty of people do, but what if you or the DC had an accident/were unwell and were ringing to say you needed him?

No, not normal.
Would you do it?

I know this is what im thinking he keeps saying he wont do it again and ive ignores him for about 2 weeks then give up. So maybe its time for a shock so he realises im serious about leaving. In the process of looking for a full time role instead so i can move out and afford my own mortgage. Just a long process.

No his answer to this is he wouldnt care if i did.

Not normal. Does he even tell you he's going/gone out - do you have any idea whether he's coming home each evening?

Are your children old enough to be aware this is happening?

Does he do much childcare on his own OP?

Where is he sleeping when he doesn’t come home?
Or rather, where does he say he’s sleeping?

There is help from Al-Anon it's for loved ones of problem drinkers.

Yes he does alot of the childcare mainly in the day while im at work. And no he doesn't tell me i normally wake up about 2am and he isnt there so il try to ring or text and get ignored. I know i need to do something about it and stop putting up with it if i dont like it its just hard that im having to now go look for my own place and would have to split childcare with him when i havent caused this,.

At his friends who he goes out for a drink with. it happened once this month and once last month. sometimes its every 3 months. but literally everytimes he has a drink.

So what time would he normally arrive home from work?

He’s not much of a partner

Around midnight but when he goes out its around 8am the next day

Of course it's not normal

My DH has the odd and do mean odd big night out with the lads talking twice a year and yes he gets in a state tbf they all do, but he always manages to get home yes I might end up with one of his single mates in the spare room and he is pretty useless next day, but my kids are older, but I would not put up with this with 2 children that age