Highlighting an anxious dog - good or bad idea?!

[DogMamaAdvice95]

I have a 5 month old puppy - a miniature poodle. He is very nervous as his breeder turned out to be a not very nice person and he had a bad experience with his littermates. He is absolutely fine with me and my DD7 it’s just other people he is petrified of - to the point where he will literally wee and poo himself immediately and have no control over it.

Due to health issues, he has only just started going on walks. I’ve seen a few dogs out and about with ‘Nervous’ or ‘Give Me Space’ collars/harnesses/leads etc and wondered if it’s a good idea or not to buy one for him?

My ‘for’ reasoning would be firstly safety for other people - because I’ve seen people and especially children just lunge out and grab for stranger’s dogs without asking first and even though he has NEVER been aggressive, obviously with an anxious dog you can never say never, and I’m hoping this would maybe deter them from touching him without asking first? And obviously to give him more space to feel comfortable on his walks too

However, my ‘against’ reasoning is by highlighting it, people will probably avoid him with their dogs etc and then he misses out on the exposure and socialisation with other animals - especially because he gets on a lot better with other dogs than he does human beings and it makes me feel sad that people might not allow their dogs to approach him etc.

I’m a first time dog owner so I wonder if anyone with a bit more experience can advise me please?

He has started on calming supplements and hemp oil for his anxiety as an ‘alternative’ treatment and he is going to start going to a daycare once a week with a brilliant trainer for intense sessions and she is going to match him up with 1/2 dogs that she feels will really bring him out of his shell.

I have a dog and see a fair number of dogs with these collars/leads. Dog walkers usually get to know each other and so there are a few dogs I know, who are nervous/anxious, that will play with my dog/will say hello to me. It’s just only after you’ve had that convo with the owner - sometimes they say their dog is nervous of bigger dogs or whatever but fine with small dogs.

So just getting your dog a collar with ‘nervous’ hopefully won’t mean your dog won’t get to meet people and other dogs, it will just give you a bit of control, and mean people (hopefully!) will ask first before approaching/allowing their dog to approach.

Can you work with a dog Walker/behaviouralist? We have an anxious Cavapoochon (not as bad as yours) and due to work & hols I've had to seek help from a dog Walker and dog boarder and it has been an amazing thing for him. Our dog boarder told me that he was the most anxious dog she had ever met & I think she was worried about taking him on but now she adores him and he is completely settled.
I'm not saying it will be easy. It will take time, patience, trust and money but it could be life changing in the long run if you find the right person.

Dogs don't just poo and wee without reason. It sounds like you haven't trained it to be approachable around strangers, or those that approached it weren't careful and slow enough with it. I always get told "my dog doesn't like strangers" and yet they always eventually voluntarily approach me and let me stroke them and feed them treats.

Oh sorry. Just seen you're working with someone. That will be a game changer in time.

As a non-dog owner, I was asked by a lady walking a greyhound if I could just walk on by and not even look at her dog as her dog had severe anxiety issues.

I was happy to comply as its her dog and she knows it best.

I would say get the visible collar.

@Keyansier as I said in my OP, he came from a bad breeder, he was even worse when he first came here and it’s taken him nearly 3 months to be comfortable enough at home. He has had bad previous experiences before he came to me, he is still doing training at home but the dog trainer he is going to thinks he will always be an anxious dog - and she used to handle police dogs.

Have a look at the Yellow Dog Campaign - I take a yellow ball slinger with me and I have a yellow collar and lead. I found too many people let their dogs bound over to my reactive dog (reactive following awful attack) and this does help. You can buy all manner of coats and things to warn other dog owners / walkers

I have a rather boisterous cocker spaniel puppy and while I don't let her approach any dogs without asking first, I give dogs with nervous collars etc a wide berth just because I assume she will upset them. When I don't have her with me I do stand further apart from dogs with those accessories and try not to look at them as I don't want to make them more anxious. So I think it would definitely help with some things but not others.

I would definitely get him a warning collar or harness for now. You’re working with a trainer to help him grow in confidence, so he’ll have controlled socialisation - that will be a lot better for him at this stage than people and dogs just coming up to him. Once he’s a happier dog you might not need the warning any more but it’s definitely the best thing for now - better for him to have his space at this stage, and also if he is really nervous there’s a small chance he might snap in fear at another dog or person who approaches him boisterously. He’s obviously not an aggressive dog at all, but if he’s really scared he might instinctively try to defend himself.

Sorry your pup is a worried little lad at the moment, but it sounds like you’re really investing lots of time and effort into his happiness and he’s clearly already come a long way from where he was. Good luck with his training and hopefully he’ll be a more relaxed dog one day.

FWIW I’ve seen terrified dogs really transformed with a lot of time and patience and I’m sure you’ll get there with yours.

Your dog is lucky to have come to you because it sounds as if you are going to do what ever it takes to give him the best chance of transformation. As another poster said perhaps use the nervous collar etc for now and in time the work with the behaviourist will allow him to acclimatise to other dogs /people. Good luck with this and I’m sure it will be a rewarding experience to see him change from a nervous to happy dog