Been with my fiancé 2 years.
Prior to being in a rship we were friendly. We met online and would talk in online video streams on pof.
I knew his type was brunette or alternative hair, tattoos, piercings etc. Brunette is his favourite and emo is his preference. He prefers dressed down women (hoody's jeans etc) or Asian women.
I am blonde, girly girl, love pink, exclusively in skirts and dresses.
Despite this, We ended up forming a solid relationship.
We get along great. He is willing to relocate to be near me (I won't move as I have kids). He is good with the kids, he is supportive and we have a good relationship.
However.
Our sex life isn't great. For the first year he would only ever do the same position (spooning) and left my clothes on. He never saw me naked. He was quite selfish. I kept telling him and it got to the point where we split up over it temporarily. I gave him another chance. Credit where it's due, he now gets me naked and does other positions and ensures he takes care of me. He blamed insecurity in himself, laziness etc. I also think he's quite inexperienced. So when we have sex now, it is much better.
But
He never seems to want sex with me. 99% of the times I've initiated it he has rejected me, so I don't initiate it often now. He only wants it every now and then. Which would be fine, except I feel like he wants sex just not with me.
He's only had 2 girlfriends - with his first relationship they had sex all the time. He adored her, she was his type. (Granted he was also 20 years old and she was his first). The second girlfriend he wasn't attracted to and they hardly ever had sex. He says it was even less than he has sex with me.
In between girlfriends he had a lot of casual sex (in a self harm kind of way as he was depressed). He wanted sex and had it where he could. He's grown up since then.
When we have sex he can't get fully hard - unless he's doing something he really likes (TMI like stroking my feet). He doesn't get excited or aroused by me. I could be naked in front of him and he wouldn't care. I wonder if he has sex because he thinks he should rather than him wanting to, he says he wants to.
He tells me he is excited by me, finds me attractive and wants sex with me. He's tried supplements to increase blood flow and libido. But it's disheartening when I try everything and he's still not interested. He uses porn when he's not with me and it's usually women his preference that he looks at. He isn't addicted to porn and doesn't tend to use it when I'm around (we don't live together)
But ultimately I'm just not his type. He says I'm attractive but I feel like he thinks I'm pretty but he doesnt find me attractive like that.
I don't feel like he should need supplements with me when he's never needed them with anyone else (he's always slept with girls his type, I'm the first who isn't)
I'm someone who loves and needs sex.
AIBU to leave an otherwise good relationship?