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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Emergency dental appointment and dc's

14 replies

LittleGreenCells · 14/08/2022 20:54

So I'm in agony with toothache. Without going into too much detail, I cracked my tooth a long time ago, not registered with a dentist and can't afford private treatment anyway, pain is now unbearable. I bought some cocodamol today to tide me over until I can get an emergency nhs dental appointment.

I want to call up tomorrow and hopefully get an appointment, if none available then I could try again Tuesday. My AIBU is that I don't have anyone to watch the dc's (4 & 7). I'm 99% sure it's going to end up with having the tooth pulled so is it awful for me to take them to the emergency dentist with me? I don't want to make them afraid of the dentist from seeing me having a tooth out. And I don't know if the dentist will even let me bring the dc's in with me.

I don't know what to do because the kids can stay with dh on Wednesday so realistically I'd rather wait until then but the pain is so bad that I'm struggling to function. Dh is working long shifts Monday and Tuesday, he can't take time off work. Please don't say "is there really no one that can have them?" because there really isn't. It's just not an option.

What would you do in my situation? Should I wait until Wednesday and try to cope with the pain or take them with me tomorrow? TIA

OP posts:
Tryingtoohardtoday · 14/08/2022 20:55

Take them with you, it’s fine. Hope you feel better soon.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 14/08/2022 20:58

Just take them with you - they'll be fine with a tablet or some colouring for a while.

Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 21:00

Why can't he take time off work?

Lola3034 · 14/08/2022 21:05

Don't let them pull the tooth out! They can f*king fix it. They tried pull 1 of my teeth out 12 years ago (it was cracked too) but I didn't agree and had it fixed and it looks great even now! It is just quicker and easier for them to pull them out!

Original poster
LittleGreenCells · 14/08/2022 21:08

Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 21:00

Why can't he take time off work?

A- he wouldn't get paid and we can't afford for him to just lose a 12hr shift, especially if I'm going to have to pay to have a tooth out.
And
B- there is no one to cover him. His job is the kind of job where you have to be calling from a hospital bed if you want to call in sick. I know it's shit but nothing can be done about it right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
LittleGreenCells · 14/08/2022 21:10

Lola3034 · 14/08/2022 21:05

Don't let them pull the tooth out! They can f*king fix it. They tried pull 1 of my teeth out 12 years ago (it was cracked too) but I didn't agree and had it fixed and it looks great even now! It is just quicker and easier for them to pull them out!

Yeah I think I need to be a bit more open minded about what can be done about the tooth. I'm just in that much pain that I feel like walking in there and begging the dentist to GET THIS TOOTH OUT OF MY MOUTH NOW 🤣

OP posts:
IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 14/08/2022 21:15

In a similar situation, my children did some colouring with the dentist's receptionist. Actually the (then) 4 year old coloured, the one year old slept in her pushchair. I'm sure most dentists have had parents with kids in before.

Original poster
LittleGreenCells · 14/08/2022 21:23

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 14/08/2022 21:15

In a similar situation, my children did some colouring with the dentist's receptionist. Actually the (then) 4 year old coloured, the one year old slept in her pushchair. I'm sure most dentists have had parents with kids in before.

Ah this is reassuring, thank you.

I've been imagining the receptionist looking at me in disbelief and saying "well you can't take the children in with you". I wasn't sure if taking dc's with you to dental appointments is something that you just can't do. As you can guess I'm not a regular at the dentist 😂

OP posts:
luxxlisbon · 14/08/2022 21:25

I think your husband just had to take time off. “Can’t take time off” isn’t a thing. If he had to get his tooth pulled or was ill then I’m sure he would be fine to take the day off. His children need looking after, he needs to step up.

Original poster
LittleGreenCells · 14/08/2022 21:36

luxxlisbon · 14/08/2022 21:25

I think your husband just had to take time off. “Can’t take time off” isn’t a thing. If he had to get his tooth pulled or was ill then I’m sure he would be fine to take the day off. His children need looking after, he needs to step up.

He's worked through awful toothache before and waited for his day off to go to the dentist. He hasn't had a day off sick in the 15 years I've known him. Though he has taken days off in the past when the dc's have been ill and have needed to go to A&E etc. That sort of stuff his work are OK with, full on emergencies.

I know it sounds like it's just my dh being an uncaring prick and shirking his responsibilities as a father but it's honestly not that at all. I wish it were that simple.

OP posts:
Jumpformylov3 · 14/08/2022 21:48

I feel for you op. I had tooth problems in lock down and couldn't get any emergency appointments and then when they had one I couldn't get child care. My teeth could have been saved as I was on a treatment plan. Pregnancies caused problems for my teeth and I left it too long to go to the dentist. Lo and behold in lock down all 3 decided to cause me incredible pain. Unfortunately they weren't allowed to do anything but pull teeth so I lost all 3.

My dentist wouldn't allow kids but that might have been because of the pandemic. My new dentist doesn't allow them unless they are the patient. If I was you I would just turn up with them. They aren't babies and can sit still for half an hour. I think if you call and ask they will say don't bring them. So just turn up with them x

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 15/08/2022 07:24

luxxlisbon · 14/08/2022 21:25

I think your husband just had to take time off. “Can’t take time off” isn’t a thing. If he had to get his tooth pulled or was ill then I’m sure he would be fine to take the day off. His children need looking after, he needs to step up.

OP has said he'd have to take the time off unpaid. Many people can't afford to lose the pay a 12 hour shift at work for the sake of a 20-30 minute dental appointment - which will also cost money.

Bickles · 15/08/2022 08:24

It’s fine as long as they are well behaved children and will sit still in the corner and not demand attention. If it were DS I would take iPad and headphones- you wouldn’t hear a peep!
If you are dentally anxious don’t take them though, you don’t want to pass a phobia on.

Sebastianmate · 09/02/2023 12:29

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