To ask for high calorie recipes my 5yo might actually eat...!

[YukoandHiro]

I'm close to losing my mind with my 5yo and her eating.

Short history:
Severe CMP and egg allergies (epi pen carrier)
Never been keen on food from day 1 of weaning
Was ok weight (25th centile) til I stopped BF at 2y 8m
Since then has slimmed down a lot. August birthday so smallest in her class by far - skinny and very short, dropped off the charts for weight by age now but probably just running along the bottom by height (she is in age 4 clothes for height but the waists are always loose).

I'm worried about her weight and her attitude to food. Every meal is a battle with screaming and crying except for the obvious beige foods like sausage chips and beans. She has school lunches as she won't eat packed lunches but often apparently only eats fruit and bread the whole day.

Obvs I can't load foods with cream/cheese

She's never drunk much milk (Oatly or Alpro growing up) and we battle to get enough calcium into her daily.

We try so hard to follow Division of Responsibility but I do get frustrated and I've definitely done a lot of bribing around pudding rather than leaving her hungry just to get the calories in her.

This is a long way of saying - has anyone got any ideas for calorie loaded foods that might actually be attractive to her? All she eats is bloody beige carbs and fruit, and then not much of it.

Could she have almond butter? Macadamia butter is nice too but expensive. You can put ripe avocados in the food processor with fruity or chocolate flavourings and whizz up to make a mousse that has plenty of calories.

Does she have non-dairy milk? Could she have something like chocolatey porridge as a snack before bed? How about salami and fattier cuts of meat? Can she tolerate olive oil in her food eg mixed into a pasta sauce or drizzled over her meal? How about home-made biscuits and flapjacks and fridge cake? Lots of calories in a compact size.

As someone who struggled to put on weight, I found it takes consistent eating day after day, week after week. So, that means nutritious meals, and mid-morning, mid-afternoon and bedtime snacks, each and every day. I wouldn’t worry about being ultra-healthy. I’d get the weight on and allow what you need to encourage her to eat. As she eats more, her appetite should gradually pick up.

Thanks @Thebig3 that's so reassuring. I think I really needed to hear something like that. It feels like it's already been a long journey and I forget the little wins (eg she does eat broccoli and carrots now, and a wide range of fruit). Rather than the breadth which I used to be obsessed with, I just now think about calories all the time.
But there are some great ideas on this thread so thank you everyone!

If she is dropping centile and not getting enough calories and especially if there is a clear medical cause/correlation (allergies) then supplements are definitely indicated? And only seeing you once a year 😱

Mine is 6 with medical issues, been under a dietician since birth. Initially weekly and then slowly decreasing intervals as we slowly worked out what she needed. Through covid these switched to video calls (she was already on 4 months appointments by then and this didn't change). Back to F2F now. Mine has been supplemented from birth and reducing the supplements only very, very slowly whilst reviewing her overall diet. Currently trialling no supplements but her weight has bounced to the 9th centile (in line with her height) so it feels right - still we will be reviewed in a couple of months and will be straight back on the supplements of weight hasn't kept track with centile.

Ask for a second opinion??

Nigellas vegan chocolate cake served with Alpro custard.

alpro chocolate desert served with fruit
alpro chocolate and strawberry milk which come in juice containers with straws. Really tasty and good source of calcium and handy to take out and about.

Dates and apricots for snacks. High calorie and high fibre. You can also make energy balls using dates, ground almonds, cocoa powder and oats. If you search for vegan energy balls there’s lots of recipes and your DC can help make them.

Generally though I’d go with what she will eat and reducing conflict around food.

Honestly my mum made such a big deal about my sister and her fussy eating i ended up with such huge anxiety about food. i developed a binge eating disorder that i still suffer with.

If i were you, i would serve up the meals you know she will eat, even if it's beige. Offer her a little bit of other food on the side. Tell her you'd like her to try it because it's good for her bones/eyesight/digestion (my dc like factual descriptions of what their food does for them) Don't badger her to eat it, if she eats it, great, if not, no big deal. The most I'll say is well done for trying it. I don't make mine clear their plates and i don't make pudding conditional on eating their dinner.

Thank you @Beautifulsunflowers - you are right. Im angry at myself for letting her behaviour around food upset me which she picks up on and only ends up escalating her negative emotions. I know it's the wrong thing to do - especially the bribery - but at the end of the day when I'm exhausted I find I have no patience left.
Picky plates and buffets sound a good way of giving her control back. I will try smoothies too.

I totally get it. Its very frustrating at times when you just want them to eat. But I can honestly say when we stopped pushing for our son to eat it improved massively. We also for a while tried putting the food in the middle of the table in serving dishes and he was allowed to pick himself.....again all about control. He got to choose what went on his plate. He loved it and definitely ate more!!

Also taking them shopping with you to pick treats etc....hope it improves for you. You have my sympathy as its tough going x

Do you have any whole food shops or Chinese supermarkets near you? They're good places for vegan ranges and vegan foods would suit her allergy list really well.

If nothing else it might give some ideas or some more freezer choices for quick meals with substitute ingredients

Somewhere like this

www.currantaffairs.co.uk/

www.happycow.net/reviews/currant-affairs-leicester-26029

My daughter is very fussy, former CMPA and addicted to Alpro growing up milk. For example she wouldn't eat a sandwich. She wouldn't eat creamy sauces or any cheese even though she can now have dairy. Over the years she has got to like meat finally so we do stews, casseroles / curries with chicken thighs, pork etc. Do you think that would work?

Thanks @BlueyS3 (great username btw ) - I will ask for an additional phone appt. I need to chase for our hospital based food trial for introduction of baked egg (for each stage of attempted reintroduction we try it in hospital first in case she goes into anaphylactic shock) so I will ask for a consultant or dietician to call before then. I'll take her weight and height down and ask for more advice.

@Greymalkin12 we are having the same issues around attempting the ladder - she's now ok with malted milks and muffins but weird about textures so we can't get past pancake and cheese (she still reacts within 1 min for yoghurt or chocolate). The dietician is really keen that we work on getting cheese in but she just won't eat it, she loves her vegan cheeses.

She's odd about sauces, still prefers dry and bland foods. But maybe I do one day on one day off for new foods and also make sure eg I always serve a casserole or curry with chips so something gets eaten

Would she like roast chicken with gravy to dip in? My DD really loves it. She will usually just eat the meat and the potatoes and leaves everything else on a roast but she woofs a lot of the meat down, especially the greasy fatty bits underneath the carcass for some reason!

or prawns? They’re good high calorie tasty foods that seem to go down well with kids

My dsc was quite fussy so we bought pizza bases and we put all the toppings into bowls and got him to make his own. This was quite good for getting him to try things like pepper. You could make your own tomato sauce and blend loads of vegetables into it.

Hash browns dry and very oily, basically a giant chip?

I also used to have for lunch - hash brown with ham and a ring of pineapple on top covered in melted cheddar - use vegan alternative?

Sounds a faff but quick in an air fryer and extremely moreish

@YukoandHiro good luck with the ladder, we were very lucky that her reactions were quite mild. I feel your pain with the dry and bland, she's had plain pasta for lunch and plain spaghetti with baby corn for dinner today - tomorrow is another day!

If she's allowed to try cheese then what about cottage cheese. Longley farms full fat cottage cheese is very mild, creamy and smooth not the slightly tangy, lumpy stuff hat other supermarket brands ends up being.

There are recipes for high protein pancakes that use cottage cheese like these

recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=55568

Go to the kosher good aisle of a supermarket or a kosher supermarket and look for food with a circled K or U on the label or sometimes the words parve or pareve, all of these foods will be dairy free. I'm sure you'll find something that is high in calories which your daughter may like.

One of my colleagues children is similar. Allergies and fussy, but like your daughter likes smoothies. She has taken to putting a scoop of protein powder in his smoothie.

Not sure if anyones mentioned already but porridge (with lots of her milk) with golden syrup might be a good breakfast or snack

Have you heard of Solid Starts? Based on the division of responsibility. The lady who runs it has a child with a number severe allergies. They replace lots of butters and things with nut or seed butters. They do charge for access but you can email if you can’t and they give access no questions ask. It includes masses of recipes for things like energy balls for picky eaters, all written by specialist dieticians plus advice on picky eating written by paediatricians.

I’d recommend having a look at their Instagram ‘our story’, I suspect you may relate to it!

My ds4 is the same. He doesn't have allergies so has been on pediasure build up shakes for 2 years but I too spend half my days worrying about what he has eaten. I go to bed some days and when I look back on the day I roughly add them up and he must only have had 500 calories it makes me feel guilty. Do you give her any multivitamins or anything? How much does your daughter weigh?

Pasta, mashed potato, rice, bread etc with any accompaniment DC likes. Children do not starve themselves even if they have preferences.

This sounds really tricky! Apologise if I've mentioned anything your DD can't have but here's a few things my 4yo likes to eat:

• Toast/oatcakes with almond butter (we use PB but you could try something else).
• Jam sandwich on 50/50 bread - eaten sparingly here but it might get a few calories into your DD.
• Banana pancakes with berries and cream. DC loves the skooshy cream (you can get non-dairy)
• Sweet potato waffles with maple syrup and cream.
• Tortilla wraps filled with a selection of toppings (carrots, pepper, chicken, rice, even fish fingers sometimes).
• Breadsticks.
• Fruit and veg muffins or flapjacks.
• Plain pasta with cheese sprinkled on it (and offer a sauce alongside it).

I find ice lollies a great way of adding calories and little snacks in front of the telly

Re milk ladder, how about making savoury muffins with a mix of vegan and dairy cheeses in?

I think it's quite common for DC who have had milk allergies not to like cheese much once they can tolerate it.