So trying to do a long story short but also not drip feed…
My EXHB isn’t allowed any contact with our child, there is currently a temporary no contact order that the court put in place whilst they try and figure out what contact is safe and appropriate.
Despite this, I always kept what I thought was healthy relationships with members of his family - especially a parent and sibling of his. Messages back and forth were very pleasant and they enjoyed still getting to be a part of my child’s life (solicitor was fine with this and even encouraged it if it was healthy for everyone because it would allow child to access other side of the family which the father couldn’t provide at the moment).
THEN…
I got a call from my solicitor and EXHB had accused me of being abusive to his family, pestering them for money etc - NONE of which was true. I initially thought that he was just trying to stir up trouble because he was jealous I still had a relationship with them and so on, but when I told them about this and asked them if there was any issues because I thought our contact was going well - they then completely done a u-turn and started supporting everything he had said but could provide NO evidence because it never happened!
This then put serious doubts in my mind as to who was actually stirring up the trouble - was they going back and telling him things that weren’t true? So I cut all contact with them and left it as that.
His parent and sibling have now got back in touch with me and asked to have regular contact with child again in terms of messages, phone calls, video calls and I’ve said no. Child isn’t old enough to facilitate this by themselves and I don’t want to get involved with their contact again because of the unnecessary trouble it caused last time.
I’ve stated I’m happy to provide updates if they message to ask but any direct contact with child is going to have to be determined by the courts decision about father and his contact and so on, that I want to keep myself distanced and have boundaries in place because I tried really hard last time to keep them involved and instead had someone or several people (I’ve never found out) trying to make up lies about me and get me into trouble.
Part of me does feel guilty like I’m maybe being a bit too harsh? Or should I stick to my guns because it’s their own fault they messed up the contact arrangements last time?
It doesn’t make too much of a difference to child - they haven’t seen them in such a long time (talking 2/3 years) so they would be happy enough to speak to them but equally not entirely bothered if they didn’t - if that makes sense!
TIA! X