To have gotten annoyed with someone commenting on what I eat?

[CuriousityMe]

So a few years ago I was 3.5 stone heavier than I am now. I've maintained a healty BMI and weight since and do eat a lot healthier now, while still enjoying an occasional treat. A family member said to me I need a more varied diet, I'm too rigid in what I eat. In fact I'm not - there's very little I don't like and never leave food behind me on the plate. This person doesn't live with me so has no idea how varied my diet actually is; I think maybe they think I'm too healthy, which I'm not. I never skip meals either but look forward to my food. I got annoyed with them and said I have a varied diet. This has upset me - but I think it's the fact of the words exchanged. AIBU to have put them right?

My family are like this. Surprise surprise I have bulimia. It wasn’t until I met my husband that I realised it wasn’t normal to comment on peoples food.

So your brother's wife "said to me I need a more varied diet, I'm too rigid in what I eat" - on the basis that you chose not to have a dessert?

She's batshit.

I very rarely have dessert, I just don't particularly like 'restaurant' desserts. She'd love me.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. She should be grateful you confined yourself to 'I do have a varied diet' rather than 'what's it got to do with you, who made you the Food Police?'.

I don’t think anyone should really be commenting on other peoples food choices unless it’s in a supportive manner. This would upset me. But I have an eating disorder and am currently in therapy and working with a dietician. I wonder why her comment struck such a cord with you?

I remember someone at work (very tall, willowy, competitive under-eater) saying to me ‘my goodness that is a huge salad!’ (It was in a repurposed takeaway plastic tub and was pure salad with no meat etc and a spoon of hummus I was around 9 stone.)

It really upset me and I struggled to eat at work from then on which didn’t help matters, so YANBU as she has no idea what your diet is or why and people should mind their business.

I'd just say 'I eat what I want to eat, thanks' and shut it down. Do not explain yourself or even discuss it.

She’s probably jealous that you’ve lost weight

One of the benefits of WFH is I no longer get the constant comments on what I'm eating. When I was doing 5:2 it was a nightmare. If I wasn't eating lunch I'd be questioned. If I was I'd be questioned.... it was 2013 when I started it so nobody had really heard much about it yet .... I still used to have fasting days as maintenance after I'd lost the weight and so it went on for bloody years. 😩
I would never comment on someone's diet and would only comment on the food they were eating to say it looked nice or something along those lines.

Yeh I get the same stupid comments from the PIL. Because I usually
only eat two meals a day (just like my father, brother, ma and pa) and refuse to partake in having lunch at 12:00 while I'm still digesting breakfast that finished at 10, I cop a whole load of shit from them. I've learned to just ignore their idiocy, they're baby boomers anyway so most of what comes out of their mouths is utter drivel

Yeah, but I just knew from the OP that it was going to be from someone criticising her for not eating cake or dessert.

@Pebble55* *
they're baby boomers anyway so most of what comes out of their mouths is utter drivel

Stupidity comes in many forms. E.g ludicrous ageist generalisations.

@Anxietyandwine I wonder why her comment struck such a cord with you?

It just irritated me, I suppose, because I'm a grown adult and can make my own food choices.

People like others to do the same as them. They find it comforting and validating. Not your problem.

"Rest assured, when I want your opinion on my food choices I'll ask for it. In the meantime keep your opinion to yourself"

Deliver with a hard stare. No smile.

Feel a bit guilty today about saying something back to her but hopefully I won't need to say any more!

Unless someone has a genuine reason to be concerned for example if you was rapidly losing weight and never ate them no commenting on someone’s weight or what they eat is not needed

I personally found that others comments about what I ate contributed to my disordered eating.

You did right putting her in her place

It’s about time people stopped this

Personally, I’d never tell a friend they were eating too little or too much.

Yeah, this is bit like my experience at work although in my case it was one person who just kept making snide remarks about me not eating cakes/sweets etc in the office and commented on literally every lunch she saw me eat, and one who was part of some kind of fat-positive movement who believed that all consciousness of food or weight is a form of eating disorder and that anyone who deliberately loses weight is committing an act of hatred and erasure against other fat people. That led to some 'interesting' conversations.

(To be clear, I wasn't one of those people who constantly goes on about weight and diets in the office. The only times I ever mentioned it were on a couple of occasions when people who hadn't seen me for a while actually asked me outright if I'd lost weight.)