Help!!
I really don't know what to do. Partner of 20 years, generally been an ok dad to the kids but has made me feel worthless for years. Ive put up with way too much shit off him over the years for the sake of the kids. Potential cheating, sexting, gambling, endless disputes with neighbours because of him. Ive just had enough.
Our eldest dd 17 has always been hard work and tends to lash out, lots of threats to kill herself or one of us. Camhs and ss are involved. One evening recently she was kicking off and punched him, he subsequently punched her back and tackled her to the floor threatening to break her legs. I managed to separate them and she went to her room all was quiet. I went out for a walk to clear my head as i didnt quite believe what id seen. I come home to find him stood outside explaining to the police that she was going crazy and he had to restrain her.
The police spoke to dd but i didnt hear what was said and she refuses to tell me.
This was the final straw for me, i told him it was over and i can't be with him anymore. He won't accept it at all, he blames my hormones, covid, the kids etc. He point blank refuses to leave, tells me i do love him and i will get back with him because he loves me. Then he says that i could not survive without his wages blah blah blah. Every day we have the same conversation and I requested he gives me time and space. He says he is giving me space but he is like a shadow constantly by my side crying and begging, if i talk to him civilly he says see you do love me. I can't go on like this.
I have nowhere to go to get away, and why should I? The house is solely in my name. He has never paid anything towards the mortgage. All the bills are in my name, other than his bank nothing of his is registered here. Even his car is registered at his parents house.